February 18, 2016


Do you make time for pleasure in your life?

Recently I ran a short, five day challenge for women to immerse themselves in various kinds of pleasure.  It’s strange to think that simply generating some pleasurable activities in one’s life could be such a big undertaking, wrought with resistance and avoidance.

Five straight days is more than most people can muster up a daily act of pleasure. To my surprise, about fifteen women out of almost a hundred really went for it and reported their exuberant findings as well as their struggles with it.  I didn’t expect so many heartfelt, transparent, gorgeous descriptions of what they were facing, and was so impressed.

I’ve been practicing pleasure, studying about pleasure, and teaching pleasure in various forms over the years, and what I’ve come to learn is that our culture simply does not value it.  This fact alone can stop some women cold.  Some of the struggles in the pleasure challenge were feeling guilty, too busy serving others, and difficulty finding time alone to do something pleasurable in their hectic days.

A very few participants were already practicing infusing pleasure into their lives as a way to heal and nurture themselves. Women were sharing all of the ways they found pleasure in life, ways they created more, and desires for even more.  It was such a gorgeous thing to see women sharing and learning something so simple, yet so powerful.

There were deep realizations about how focusing on pleasure brought so much awareness of even more pleasure they’d never noticed.  Vibrancy, deserving, worth, and even profound joy unfolded.  New ideas, enthusiasm and even recipes for pleasure were shared.

I have no intention of closing this amazing group.  With women joining daily, asking me what it is and how they can participate,  we’ll continue to focus on pleasure.  We’ll encourage each other to keep up the important work of enjoying life, honoring our bodies, reveling in our femininity, and opening to receiving more abundance. I’m convinced that the gateway of gratitude is primed by pleasure.

~Goddess Oceana

How can you join the Goddess Pleasure Challenge group?  Follow this LINK and ask to join.

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS



Speechless During Sex?

January 18, 2016


Let’s get down to business, shall we?

Your pleasure plays a huge role in how empowered you are.  My mission is to teach you how to be a goddess, and goddesses are powerful.  One of the myriad teachings I share is how to live a pleasure-filled life, bask in sensuality, and enjoy the incredible benefits that come from such a badass lifestyle.

Before I became an empowered goddess, I was a shy, mute, lovely and good girl.  Unskilled and inexperienced sexually, I naively hoped for the best and mostly got the worst.  In those days, the only information available was in the few books we could find on the subject, magazines, and word of mouth.  All of it was sadly lacking, and we were hugely misinformed.

A big part of my awakening sexually happened when I discovered vibrators.  It changed my life.  Suddenly I was feeling things I hadn’t known I could feel.  In short, self pleasure became the key to understanding my body and in showing my lover what worked for me.  Years later, I became a sex educator for a well-known toy consultancy, and one of the themes we found most beneficial for women was teaching them that self pleasure is the key, in fact, to all women’s success in having optimal pleasure with lovers.

Many types of empowerment and sexuality trainings  later, what emerged was another aha… the absolute necessity of certain types of communication in bed.  Yes, we hear it and read it everywhere, but I have an idea that not everyone actually practices it.  Nor do they know how.

Here are a couple of tips on successful pleasuring communication:

  • Practice speaking up every time something feels good with describing exactly when and what, even if you don’t feel confident in doing so at first.  (Practice, practice, practice).
  • If something is not to your liking, instead of just laying a complaint on your partner, keep the passion flowing by first saying what did feel good or what you do like about them or what they’re doing, and follow with requesting what you want more of or  want different.
  • Keep breathing.  Holding your breath (which many do unconsciously when they’re revved up) constricts energy, inhibits communication, and freezes the response.  Just remember to breathe, and if you notice you stopped, start again with slower, longer breaths.  Short, shallow breath can also shorten orgasm.  Long, conscious breathing prolongs pleasure. Breathing can also be a way of communicating.  Even if we don’t realize it, we sense so much from another’s breathing patterns.
  • If all else fails, ask your lover to receive, and show them what you like by touching them they way you wish to be touched, kissed, or stroked.

Speaking up in bed can be so scary for some women, especially if past abuse or trauma is present.  Be gentle with yourself and start slowly, and celebrate every successful communication, no matter how small it may seem.  One tiny step at a time, over time, will reap huge rewards, I promise.

Juicy Goddess Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS


True Love Terror

December 14, 2015

ripping heart

Women tell me about how much they want to have great relationships all the time.  There are articles all over the internet about how to find the man of your dreams and keep him, how to have a better marriage, and how to deepen the intimacy with your lover.

Many women talk about what their partner is or isn’t doing that’s making them unhappy.  They speak of the dream relationship they want, and they spend tons of time trying to figure out what they’re doing wrong, or what makes their man tick.  They contort themselves into emotional pretzels fretting about the other woman, or about how they can get their man to treat them the way they want to be treated.

This article isn’t going to tell you the answers to any of it right now, because I think I’ve stumbled on the one thing that no one is talking about.  This one thing is at the absolute core of all of this commotion.

You see, no one comes to me describing the terrifying act of opening their heart to a man fully and completely, allowing themselves to be so utterly vulnerable that they stop trying to attack him covertly in an attempt to control him so they can feel safer.

The one thing not many women are talking about is how terrifying it is to be deeply in love.  Because, I tell you in all truth, it is fucking scary.  It’s scary to think that this one man could leave you grief-stricken in his absence, your heart ripped apart and bleeding.

How can I be so sure of this?  Because even after twenty-five years with a rock solid guy, I found myself facing the deepest level of intimacy I’ve ever experienced.

I’d been training myself in vulnerability, the deepest surrender, setting ego aside, and putting our love first and foremost.  I don’t do things halfway, and I wanted the very best marriage I could imagine.  The nature of my work as a mentor insists that I live what I teach.  So, I wouldn’t be satisfied until I had plummeted into the depths of my man’s heart and felt a complete union of souls.

In order to do this, I had to drop every single barrier to intimacy I had acquired in my life, from trying to control him, to hiding my traces of shame, to allowing him to be right when he was right, to being willing to be wrong in order to put love first…the list goes on.  In essence, I had to stop emasculating him, even in the most subtle ways that were almost unconscious.

What happened next took my breath away.  Unexpected, incredible, magnificent love showed up.

When I trusted him completely, and told my core truth without unconsciously trying to hurt him first to make myself feel safe, he responded with love.  In trusting him first, he lived up to my trust and beyond.

Today, I found myself in tears expressing my worst fears to my beloved, all wrapped up in my profound love.  In allowing myself to be absolutely raw in my transparency, I experienced terror.  For the first time in my life, I was face to face with the terror of the deepest love I had allowed myself to surrender to a man in this lifetime.

And so I say to you, what’s underneath all of those challenges you’re facing in your relationship is most likely terror at what it may mean to love fully, completely, openly, and without a safety net.

What if you give your whole heart, your tender vulnerability, your whole life to this man, and one day you wake up and he’s no longer there?  What if you’re both elderly and he goes first?  What if you give up cutting him down at the knees with criticism and complaining, and instead get curious about what makes a man tick?

What if you surrender, throw up the white flag, and allow him to deeply love you…and trust him to catch you when you stumble?

~Goddess Oceana

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

A Woman Is No Idiot

December 8, 2015

Something happens to a woman when she is betrayed or rejected by someone she openly trusts and lets in very close.
If she does not have the skills or tools to recover, she tends to isolate, withdraw, and become wary after a while, of anyone trying to come in close.
Wounded, she unconsciously puts those dearest and closest through their paces over and over again, continuing to test their loyalty to guard fervently against further soul terrorism.
If she’s wise, she receives the gifts from her pain, and places shrewd guardians at the door of her soul who demand the heights of pre-earned trust for entry into her orb.
Earned trust is easy to discern as she learns to trust herself.
She becomes stealthy underneath her silken curves.
She paces herself, firmly rooted in her worth.
She honors herself first.

A woman is no idiot.
A woman is a creator of beauty in all things.
A woman will give until her last breath unless she is betrayed.
A woman bestows life and a woman magnifies splendor.
A woman‘s attention is rapturous.
A woman‘s wrath is chaos embodied, destroying and feeding the fires of transformation.
A woman is born, dies, and is reborn a thousand times a day.
A woman can live lifetimes into one look, ignite journeys of the heart with a single touch, and can move mountains with her pleasure.

~Goddess Oceana


Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

Be A Goddessly Intender

December 7, 2015



People ask me what living like a goddess looks like. There’s no simple answer. It can be the smallest, most subtle change in an intention that makes all the difference in the world.

When I mentor women into bringing out their inner goddess, living life like a goddess, and being an embodied goddess, we practice many tools over time until they become second nature. One of these tools is the power of intention.

It’s a shift of mind that can completely alchemize any situation, turn the tide on the outcome of the day, and even make a meal an absolutely healing experience.

Working with intention is one of the most powerful spiritual moves we have as human beings.

Intention is a silent form of mental focus that imprints the invisible field of creation with a recipe for manifestation of whatever we desire.

What that means simply, is that when we focus a clearly articulated idea of what we want, it sends waves of information out into the quantum field of energy we’re a part of, and that energy has the sole purpose of following information waves.

Setting an intention is potent magic, the kind that a goddess can easily use to create wonderful things.

Next time you’re focused on someone and wondering what you can do to elicit something good, set an intention to focus on the good things you see about them rather than the negative. What we focus on grows, and intention can ramp that up tremendously.

Go ahead and grant someone their humanity today by giving them the benefit of the doubt. Find something to love about them. Doubt that their intentions are bad.

Assume their intentions are good.

See what happens.


Let me know how it goes. I love hearing from you!


Blissings and Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS


Self Worth and Lousy Friends

December 3, 2015


This year, I stopped letting certain people stay in my orb.  I had already done a bit of this type of release work over my life with more obvious offenders, but this was a new and subtle layer reflecting some deep growth on my part.

Some left thinking it was their own idea which was a handy cosmic alignment with my quiet intentions of good treatment.  Others, I stopped putting my attention on.  They hadn’t been putting their attention on me unless I worked really hard to connect, and it dawned on me that they were actually neglecting me.
Neglect was hard for me to see, having grown up in a family of origin that was steeped in neglect.
It wasn’t a product of not living near someone or having incredibly busy lives, but rather the one-sided relationship.  I have very close friends that I don’t see for years due to distance or life demands, and don’t consider that a neglectful friendship.

When I set this intention and acted on it, my life quality improved dramatically.  I was on to something.

The first thing I noticed is the abundance that came pouring in. It was almost instantaneous,  when I made a conscious choice of higher self-worth.  Hard to miss the great big YES from the universe on that one.

New friends appeared who have been absolutely amazing, loving, kind, and supportive. I no longer attract those who compete, come from jealousy, or feel a need to put me down to feel better about themselves.

If I spot them, I’ve learned to keep them at arm’s length. The dysfunctional behavior I used to tolerate is replaced with those who consciously love and live in alignment with compassion and true integrity.

It all starts with an intention to love oneself, followed by naming how you desire your friends to treat you.

Focus on the good treatment you want.

Treat yourself really well, and spend time with those who do the same.

Let me know how it goes, ok?

Sign up to Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS and receive my newsletter HERE.

Goddess Oceana is a Sensual Empowerment Goddess Mentor, Tantric Yogini, Shamaness. Workshop and Retreat Facilitator.




Are You Too Much, Not Enough, Or Just Plain Confused?

June 30, 2015


Do you shrink yourself to be more pleasing?

Do you go blank when someone asks you what you want, or make something up in hopes it will turn out well?

Are you confused about why men don’t seem attracted to you, or do you miss the signals?

You’re not alone, sister.  So many of us are stymied by the crazy mixed messages we are bombarded with from the media, and even more importantly, by the way we’ve been trained to be silent, appeasing, and people pleasing.  It becomes a habit based in fear and self-preservation.

You don’t need this habit, but wow does it take hold when it’s reinforced by attitudes in the culture, commercials, and good old-fashioned female oppression.

The truth is that you are never too much, you’re always enough, and you know way more than you give yourself credit for, you goddess!  But how are you supposed to tap into this type of confidence, courage and savvy?

This is my specialty, and I have been through it for decades until I figured it out.  I was the ultimate people pleaser, good girl, quiet and polite lady who spent a whole lot of time battling depression, failed relationships, a failed marriage, and even abuse and rape.

My journey to wholeness began  very slowly, years before I realized I had a problem.  I was training in Law of Attraction and spiritual mysticism early on in my teens, and started my passion for attending transformational workshops in my twenties.  But it wasn’t enough to wipe out the low self-worth I was battling.  Brilliant teachings and trainings were wonderful, and I benefitted immensely, but they didn’t change the deepest core of my particular emotional and mental wounding.

The process of healing took me three decades and was a relentless search on my part, healing layer after layer after layer.  I went through what I would call a spiritual death in my early forties, and the journey back from that was through my ongoing intensive training in the Divine Feminine mysteries, wisewoman teachings, shamanic trainings, and decades of practicing tantric yoga.

I believe there is a reason for everything we experience, and that the soul is imbued with a Divine Plan in collaboration with our inherent desires for ecstasy.

What I offer you now as an elder is the full scope of all that I’ve learned and practiced over my lifetime.  One method doesn’t work for everyone, as you are a unique and wondrous creature with a path as intricate and distinct as a snowflake.  Every individual has their own story to be lived and liberated into an enlightened legend, and for most of us, the support and guidance of a wise teacher with many experiences and an array of skills is necessary.

My passion is to dive deep with women and peer into their souls, support them to fulfill their Divine Destiny with joy, love, and sensuality as their inherent birthright.

Blissings & Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Goddess Oceana is a certified Tantric Yoga Teacher, Shaman, and Women’s Empowerment Coach. If you’re a woman who wants to embrace your inner power to attract and create more money, and become a magnet to more positive relationships, go here for the free series, The Seven Goddess Secrets Every Modern Woman Must Know To Live In Passionate Pleasure now.


How To Get Unstuck

April 20, 2015


Rather than spend time trying to figure out with your mind what’s holding you back from having the relationship of your dreams, having enough money and some to spare, feeling worthy of having the kind of intimacy your deserve as a woman, rocking your magnetic sensuality, or committing to something that’s important to you, the following process gets you into your body about it and moves the stuck energy patterns that are the root cause of your pain.

This is a process that is so simple but totally effective in moving through something that’s causing you to be stuck and unable to get what you want. I do this with clients often, and they experience immediate relief in one to three practice sessions.

Ready? Let’s do it!

1. Sit in a comfortable position with your feet on the floor or cross-legged, back straight, where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.
2. Close your eyes and slow your breathing to a steady stream of breath in and out through your nose.
3. Scan your body internally from head to toe, and notice any area that draws your attention most.
4. Focus in on that spot and notice if that place has a color, shape, or energy to it.
5. Stay present with what shows up, and simply be in a state of awareness, witnessing, and patient love.
6. Witnessing, notice and be with it. Don’t assume anything will happen or not happen, and do your best to just be a loving presence for it.
7. Do this for a few minutes, and if anything about the shape, color, etc, changes, just notice and stay present to that as well.
8. Continue with this until you either need to get up and move on with your day, or until it lifts or morphs.
9. Practice this exercise as many times as you like and notice what happens.

There it is, plain and simple, yet incredibly powerful. By allowing what is to simply be, with conscious awareness, miracles happen.

About me:

I help women who want more passion in their lives harness the power of the Divine Feminine to be more sensual, magnetic, and confident.

Where to find me:

Sparkling Up Your To Do List

January 6, 2015


Impossibly long lists of stuff I should do every day are bringing me down. It’s like resolutions that you’re all gung ho about, and then a few weeks or months in, you realize you failed, and then you feel worse than before you made the resolution. It gets to the point where you’re dreading your days, because you totally forgot the fun in your attempt to do better, be better, get better.

I have a new tactic this year, and it’s different than anything I’ve ever attempted. The first part is probably the most challenging for many people. It’s the decision that I’m already absolutely good, fine, right, and wonderful exactly as I am. There’s nothing to fix. The world won’t stop if shit doesn’t get done. The idea that some stuff can be delegated takes a while to land when you’re running so hard you don’t have time to stop and plan.

It’s times like these, when I accidentally slip into an old habit pattern, that I suddenly realize I have amazing tools at my disposal. After all, I teach other women how to hoist up their lace thongs and operate from another paradigm altogether. I start practicing what I preach, and everything gets rosy, luscious, synchronous, and easy again.

This morning I came up with another genius idea again, and that’s why I’m furiously typing it out in an article. I want to share it with you while it’s fresh. Yesterday I sorted through a zillion piles of paper in my office, and was having a facedown with endless lists of to do’s. It occurred to me that almost every one still had items on it that hadn’t been crossed off. How amazing would it feel to have a list that was so juicy, so fabulously fun, so extraordinary to look forward to that every item was checked off and the paper thrown to the side in the frenzy of joy?

And so, today I share with you the new way. Today I am writing a list of only the things I deeply desire to do. If it has even the slightest scent of “yuck, I don’t wanna” then it’s not going on my list. My list begins with a pedicure…a luxurious, relaxing, soothing, and sparkly pedicure. It’s followed by writing an article about something so sexy that it turns me on. Item three is a mystery item that will most likely be a result of how excited I am about the sexy article, and so on.

How will the dishes, the bills, the meals get done, you might ask? I have no doubt that those things will ensue, but you’d better believe they’ll happen in the most scintillating way. I’ll have just a few items on the list that I would ordinarily not consider desires, but I plan to make them so much fun that they’ll spur desire in spades. We’re talking dance music, playful escapades, the sweet smell of aromatic tea, speakerphone conversations with my wild girlfriends, random acts of pleasureful miracles…and anything else my creative mind can dream up.

The New Year’s Resolution is now The New Year’s Pleasure Parade. Fun, sexy, joyous, and guaranteed to make life intriguing, sensual, pleasurable, and something to jump out of bed in the morning excited about.

What’s on your list, cupcake? If you’d like some ideas about how to make the less than desirable to do’s palatable and enjoyable, email me for a session. We’ll do a Goddess card reading and give you a sexy strategy for fueling your life with joy and pleasure. I’ll fire up my wand and transmute the stuck places in your energy field. We’ll infuse your dusty places with a dose of tantric goddess love and wisdom. We’ll put the sparkle back into your eyes, and light up your life in ways you haven’t even imagined.

Bliss, Joy, and Love~

Goddess Oceana

How Do You Handle A Bully?

December 31, 2014


I wonder about the history of bullying. I imagine that in prehistoric days, being a bully was the way to be the boss in the cave. Totally up for info on that, but it seems possible.
Then came the days of the quick fix, when we had communities and villages, and the bully was finally pummeled by someone, thereby putting an end to the bullying, at least from that person.
Then came conscious communication, and the turnaround transition where the bullies were loved by those who could see the suffering underneath, and recognize their own internal bully, and quite possibly heal the dynamic of bullying altogether.
My dear friend, Judy Giovangelo has devoted her life to healing bullies, inside and out with her magnificent organization Ben Speaks, and so she keeps me awake and aware about this bullying topic.

There is, however, another fascinating slant on bullying that is more esoteric and takes an enormous dose of patience, and that I’ve practiced my whole life. It’s totally an inside job, while watching karmic patterns play out.

I’ve experienced and witnessed treatment from some people that shocked me and felt awful, but with prayer, meditation, and learning to love myself more, I’ve been silent, like an owl. Watching over years sometimes, just seeing the internal suffering of the bully, sending love, and also doing what I needed to do to take care of myself, I haven’t been one to take an activist stance and fight back, unless my family or myself were in danger. I’ve chosen, out of simply feeling what my intuitive knowing was telling me, to be the owl high in the tree, watching the unravelling of events in the bully’s life, and at times sincerely felt sad for them when the universe dished back the same energy multiplied.  Personally, I think this higher view allows for those intricate dynamics that we don’t know about to play out more perfectly in alignment with everyone’s highest good.  I’m less inclined to want to interfere with the genius of the universe.

More recently, I’m becoming acutely aware of this as the vibration in the universe picks up speed, and the wait is much, much shorter. I see it for myself as well as others. The benefit of being awake in this world is that when we screw up, we know how it works, and we can make amends as well as do other spiritual practices to smooth out the repercussions and heal the wrong before we get the slapback and it’s much softer. It’s softer because we have owned our actions and taken action. It’s softer because we were accountable to the energy dynamic that connects all of us as one.

There are still many of us who haven’t quite caught up, though. We can see it in the headlines. If you were to read the headlines as if they were the message from your Higher Self about how you’re doing today, how would your life be different? I think that those of us who know our internal landscape and are clear about our oneness on this beautiful earth are able to see the places inside of ourselves where we are still at war, and do the healing work necessary.

If each and every one of us were taking exquisite care of ourselves internally, perhaps the headlines would reflect that ramp up of love in the world. Before you begin to argue this point with a litany of reasons why it’s unreasonable and with proof that it’s a false idea, consider the possibility of love as a healing agent more powerful than any energy in this universe.

We’ve come a long way from the cave, baby, and it’s time to wake up. Gently, softly, I am whispering an “I love you” wakeup call.

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