Get That Love Fire Roaring, Girlfriends

Stuck in a rut?  Not feeling so amorous?  You are in good company, my sisters.  One of the misnomers of marriage and long term relationship is that once you find your soul mate, you live happily ever after.

I am here to break the bad, sad news that “happily ever after” requires commitment and work.  No one likes to hear that, especially since we’ve been fed the storybook ending since we were sitting on mama’s lap looking at board books.  The upside is that you have me, and you have all sorts of support to help make that work fun!

In this short article, I’ll give you a mini introduction to some resources that will kindle the flames again.  Once that’s happening, you can determine if some lighter fluid is necessary, and for that you are welcome to contact me, since that’s my specialty.

To begin, ladies, one thing to remember about men is that they are very visual.  And so, if you’ve gotten accustomed to climbing into bed in your torn t-shirt and old, stained dorm pants, chances are the lights are out already.  Either he’s snoring, or watching tv for a few more hours, or you are feeling so tired and gross that the last thing on your mind is romance.

We’ve got to turn this train around, darlings.   Allow me introduce you to Margaret Shrum.  She is the epitome of ‘goddess’ and the lingerie specialist par excellence.  My amazing friend Margaret is the creatrix of a phenomenal community where you can learn how to indulge your sensuality, awaken your senses, and eternally show up feeling absolutely gorgeous.  Margaret coaches women on how to choose, wear, care for, and overhaul their lingerie collections.  Lingerie is a sure way to make you feel like a real, hot, sexy, confident woman.  Visit her at

The next step I’d recommend after indulging yourself in silk and satin is to find a girlfriend or two with great listening skills and ask them to let you cut loose in everything that’s pissing you off lately.  You heard me.  As women, we need to purge and detox the stuff we’ve been holding onto, the resentments, the upsets, and the toxic emotions.  Left too long to simmer, they build up an intimacy chastity belt that any man lucky enough to penetrate is essentially setting himself up for some unsavory interactions.  Poor sucker.  So get that resentment out of your system, and then move on to step number three.

Make a list of everything you adore about your partner.  What is the most adorable trait?  Focus on it, relish it, and appreciate him out loud about it.  Often.  Sandwich special requests between it.  Acknowledge everything he does that is right.  See if you can find three things a day that he’s doing that are good and make acknowledgment a habit.

The next action you can take is to go on a pleasure regimen.  Do something every single day that brings you pleasure.  Rev up your pleasure meter, feed it with delicious experiences and little joys, and don’t get caught without coins.  This is a serious practice, and it will fill you up with desire, which is the key ingredient that men cannot resist.

That’s it for today, girlfriends!  I’ll be checking back in to see how you did, so make me proud!


Goddess Oceana

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