7 Romantic Ways to Rock Your Relationship

One of the ways we fall into a rut in our long term relationships is by ignoring the romance factor.  It’s not our fault, but it is our responsibility if we want to keep the sparks sparkling and the flame burning.  You may not want to hear this for various reasons, such as resenting the fact that you have to be the one to do something to generate it, or wishing your partner would take a clue from the fairytales and just BE romantic and charming.

The fact that you want to read an article like this one is very hopeful, though!  You have scored a big sparkling star just for your curiosity and willingness to entertain your imagination with ideas about romantic rockingness.  The prerequisite for the forthcoming effort is to acknowledge yourself for wanting to try.  Going into this endeavor with some compassion and love for yourself will magnify your results.  Cool, huh?!

Here are some surefire ways to rock it, roll it, and have a second helping:

1.     For a couple of weeks, decide that you are going to be generous and kind without the attitude.  You’re reaching deep into magnanimity and holiness, and you’re being kind because it just plain feels good in so many ways.

2.     Start treating your lover as a stranger.  Find this suggestion strange?  It’s actually a brilliant move.  Have you ever noticed how polite you are to other people publicly, but once you get home, the hair comes down and the taking your partner for granted habit takes over?  Practice being incredibly polite to your partner.  Use the magic word, and say thank you. Offer a bite first.  Say excuse me rather than “mooooove”.

3.     Get a girlfriend to swap romantic ideas with you.  Have a full out brainstorming session with each other and see how many new ideas you can each come up with.  Go home and try the ones you like best once a week for a month.

4.     Schedule (don’t groan, scheduling works!) an evening or morning alone with your lover.  Do whatever you need to do in advance that will make this time stress free, i.e. order out rather than cook, set the coffeepot timer on the night before, make sure the kids are at a sleepover or in bed already.  Tell your partner that this time is going to be for you to give your total attention to him to remind him of how much he’s loved.  Tell each other the top five things you miss that you used to do together when you first met, and then brainstorm to see how you can bring some of that back now.

5.     Give your partner a ‘love wash’.  This is not the kind of wash you think it is.  I’m talking about having your partner sit in a chair across from you and spending three full minutes telling him every single thing you adore, love, appreciate, cherish, and are grateful for about him.  Allow him to reciprocate if he’d like to, but don’t expect or demand it this first time.  You can tell him this is a practice session, and that you’d love it if he’d be willing to take turns doing this with   you daily for a week. Credit for this one goes to Harville Hendrix, superb relationship expert.

6.     Spontaneously chat online with your lover when you’re both on your computers.  There’s something very sexy and fun about writing to each other, and things are communicated that are sometimes difficult to say in person.  Send love notes and sexy thoughts, and plan a rendezvous for that night.

7.     Trade romantic setups with another couple.  Each couple takes a turn setting up a fantastic meal complete with wine, flowers, table setting, romantic lighting, candles, love notes, fresh sheets, beautiful massage oil, romantic music, and whatever else your imagination can cook up.  They get to enjoy just experiencing this amazing dinner at home complete with romantic touches, and then they set one up for the both of you at another time.  You’ll find you’re excited creating romance for someone else, and it gets you feeling romantically appreciative of your partner as well.

There you have it.  Even if you choose only one tip, you are taking the steps towards evoking romance, and even a drop of romance is worth the effort, wouldn’t you agree?

~Goddess Oceana, author of forthcoming book, Ecstatic Quotes From the Goddess, Empowerment and Intimacy Coach, sensual wise woman, and enlightenment guide.


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7 Responses to “7 Romantic Ways to Rock Your Relationship”

  1. cocktailsattiffanys Says:

    Damn, I never even make it past the 2 month mark.

    I suck.



  2. swissknifev Says:

    Hello Goddess! romance i do not know. i had a girl friend and i only had sex with her. She said during sex that she loved me. I said no emotions. She giggled. I told her about my other sex with other girlfriend. She giggled. She pinched my cheek and kissed me. We had sex for the next four years. I was wild and sometimes dirty in my fantasies. She loved it and stuck to me. That means romance won’t work. Women want a strong guy who uses them. Since them i have never been romantic. It does not work. Tough i-care-a -nothing just fun – is what clicks with women who become very loyal after that. Why? I don’t know. But romance means – i feel- a guy comes out as a soft loser and old fashioned. So why waste emotions? Girls don’t like it. NO?


    • Oceana Says:

      Sounds to me like a different type of relationship than one that warrants romance. There are purely sexual relationships, and then there are romantic relationships, and then there are some that combine both. My article is intended for those who wish to create more romance.
      Your remark that romance won’t work, or that girls don’t like it is very general. It doesn’t apply to everyone.
      If you’ve got something that works for you and makes you happy, then I say you have succeeded in finding satisfaction. Cheers!


  3. Lillith Says:

    #7 is an awesome idea! I love that and have some friends who would be so fun to trade that kind of arrangement with. Thanks for the inspired idea.


  4. swissknifev Says:

    I think you have a valid point. I’ll have to be more open minded. In any case I like strong emotional relationships better. They are more longstanding than temporary ones. I suppose it also depends on the experiences and circumstances around us. Thanks. I like your site.


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