Making Time For Pleasure

When everything is just too overwhelming and life seems to be racing in a zillion directions, how do you handle it? Do you drink more coffee, try to do more, stay up later, get up earlier, or break down? Do you let stress build and ignore it? Do you just stuff your face with sugar like I do?
It’s a huge challenge to stay focused and prioritized, and to make the time for rest and balance in these times. We have so many mediums of communication all vying for our attention, not to mention careers to work, families to tend to, functions to attend, plans to make, appointments to keep. The list goes on and the stress seems to mount, until we find ourselves either sick or in breakdown somehow.
I see many people who seem to wait until they’re sick for a small break, and then they jump back up before they’re even ready to go back into the ring for more. It’s scary to watch. I can’t help but wonder if they are truly happy, or just afraid to stop. For some, I’m sure that staying in the game full frontal brings them joy, but this isn’t not true for everyone.
The perfect antidote for stress is pleasure. Nothing gives us more of an “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” feeling. It doesn’t really take much if we learn to breathe and center our attention on our hearts, get present with the moment, and then feel into it. I don’t believe that pleasure can happen when our minds are racing in the opposite direction. Ever tried to completely relax while running? Doesn’t work that well, does it? You have to get the mind to stop, drag it back to where your body is and sync your system up with the now. Only then can you really be with whatever pleasure you’re offering yourself.
One of the more advanced routes to pleasure is associated with our sexuality, and in a pinch our sexuality can be channeled into any activity and then it becomes sensuality, which is highly pleasurable. Pleasure in eating something delicious, feeling the sun on your face, getting a shoulder rub, stretching, looking at beautiful art or photos, listening to gorgeous music…these are all so pleasurable. If we focus on feeling our bodies respond as we enjoy these activities, we are officially having a sensual experience. This is where the pleasure we are feeling can light up our brains, our groins, our whole physiology, and we are healing, opening, and receiving the relaxation and rejuvenation we crave.
In the book, The Pleasure Zone, Resnick lists the 8 fundamental pleasures as being primal, pain relief, play, mental, emotional, sensual, sexual, and spiritual. The last three can “be thought of as the consummate realms for reaching your pleasure potential”, she says.
Take some time out for pleasure today and if it feels good try it daily for a while. I would love to hear back from you how it affects your life.


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8 Responses to “Making Time For Pleasure”

  1. Luck Fawyers Says:



  2. Melanie Meadors Says:

    I ordered Resnick’s book last night. Can’t wait to read it :). Sometimes I think I have forgotten what pleasure feels like–REALLY feels like. There are so many things OUT there that it’s so easy to forget about the person withIN, and even the people within my family. Outside pressures, pressures to perform, pressures to be, pressures to do, seem to take over. It’s hard to accept, or to give yourself permission to have, pleasure in this society where everyone seems to be gluttons for punishment! I really need to work on this aspect of myself.


  3. Oceana Says:

    Thank you, Luck!


  4. Oceana Says:

    So true, Melanie. Our society certainly does not promote pleasure, and I find it is a core challenge with most of my clients. Pleasure and celebrating oneself are the top two skills I work on with people that change their lives dramatically…so you are not alone!


  5. Mb Antevasin Says:

    I just lost a dear sister who lived life like this, she took pleasure in every day, ate delicious food without apologizing, never forgot how to play, danced like nobody was watching, exept that everyone would stop to watch her because she was so full of life, and that made her beautiful to everyone who saw her. She was in a moment of extreme happiness, in a beautiful place when she was suddenly and dramatically swept away…so it seems fitting for her. But, the rest of us are left wondering what to do. It made me stop to think that my life has som full of handling one stress after another, and trying to manage it all, that I had stopped taking pleasure in my days. So, now I am reminded that every moment is precious and I have been smiling, laughing, playing, putting on something beautiful and going dancing. The other day I stopped and ate an ice cream cone on a swing on my way home. I know she would be happy about that.


    • Oceana Says:

      Sending my love and deepest sympathy for your loss of this bright light of a friend, beautiful Mb. What a gift she was and is….a brilliant spirit modelling how to be fully alive!
      I’m so glad you are finding the small pleasures that are actually not small at all. xo


  6. Lisa Couto Says:

    Thanks for this Oceana. It is so easy to get caugh up in the stresses of life and forget about taking time for pleasure altogether. I tend to agree with the Buddhists when they say that transcending the pleasure/pain cycle altogether is the way to attain bliss. Yet, somehow, I am still always so available to experiencing pain on some level, usually through denying myself in ways, or responding negatively to life’s stresses. If this is the case, I’m going to be in the pleasure/pain cycle anyway in this lifetime with a glimpse of trancendent joy bubbling up now and then if I’m lucky! Maybe one of the ways to attain this state is to become more present to and allowing of pleasures, even when they feel undeserved or like instant gratification. I will be driving home with my sunroof wide open cranking some tunes tonight for sure!


    • Oceana Says:

      Sounds like a gorgeous plan to me, Lisa! I would love to chat with you more about this some time. Women are wired as sacred sexual beings, and as the feminine embodied aspect, our purpose is biologically geared towards pleasure as being crucial to creation. Will be interested in hearing about your research, darling! xoxoxo


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