On Welcoming A Wisewoman

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A new humility has surfaced in me the last couple of years, a sort of surrender to the wise woman birthing herself in my being as I round the corner of menopause.  Pregnancy with this energy seemed to have lasted a slowly percolating decade, but when labor ensued, it was a force I had no previous awareness of, raw and fierce and gentle all at the same time.

 

Before where I had a sense of self, knowing exactly who I was and where I was going, this wise woman crone brought down some sort of unearthly axe and suddenly I was forgetful, weak when I wanted to be strong, stupid when I needed to be sharp, exhausted when I had to be on my game, bored when I would rather have been curious and enthusiastic.  This old dame was turning me upside down and inside out.

 

Nothing like a huge and uncomfortable change ever seems to happen at a good time, does it?!  And so, surrender was not only necessary, but inescapable.  The crone energy is Kali Ma Herself, Hindu goddess of sharp, grand, and furious awakening.  When I finally decided to surrender, it seemed that it would require a willingness to speak up, a need to educate the less initiated, and a bold-assed declaration of my boundaries that pissed people off.

 

I’m still in the throes of this, but can report that a sense of humor is crucial.  When I find myself in certain situations, it can be utterly unnerving if I don’t have the capacity to laugh at myself with others.  The other day I told my 13 year old to please get his bacon on and get out to the car so we wouldn’t be late.  Words I have spoken my whole life suddenly interchange, and I don’t even hear myself as they slide effortlessly out of my mouth.  He just stood there laughing hysterically, with me feeling a bit offended.  “What are you laughing at?” I inquired.  He told me what I had just said, and I was baffled.  Truly, I thought I told him to get his coat on.

 

My sweet husband will attest that he can tell me something, only to find me asking the same question an hour or a day later,  as if the conversation never happened.  At first, he thought I was messing with him.  I explain that this is what birthing a crone looks like, and he’ll have to try to remember that I require a bit more gentleness, a bit more tolerance, and a whole lot of patience until she emerges and this passage is complete.  I am welcoming a wise woman, and she is in the becoming.

 

Who is in your life that is at the crossroads of this powerful transformation?  In what ways can you support her, learn from her, honor her in holding a space for soft landing while she is birthing possibly the most compelling and courageous transformation she has ever met?  If you are in this stage, how do you hold yourself gently, and what are you celebrating about it?

 

I would love to hear your experience, your questions, your deep inquiries and gifts…feel free to share below.

 

~Goddess Oceana

http:/www.goddessoceana.com

 

 

 

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2 Responses to “On Welcoming A Wisewoman”

  1. peacelovermoonshadow Says:

    I too feel the contractions of birthing the wise woman, crone, shaman in this new stage of my life. Those are all words I haven’t grasped yet. As I let go of old labels of limitation, I hesitate to attach myself to new ones. I know I am standing with a foot in two planes. Im losing days, losing all concept of time. My hair is turning white and falling out, Im grappling with the ego’s taunts of my becoming old, losing my youth, “you are too old to begin anything new.” Im letting go of my grown children and grandchildren, and the guilt that goes along with that. Ive taken the past 6 years to learn the gift of solitude. Getting to know myself and love myself, becoming whole no longer looking outside of myself for completion. The veil is lifting as I remember who I really am and am led to join the women’s circles via the blessed internet. Im hearing the drums and chants calling me back/forward. But Im not there yet. But I feel Im on my way to living the life I was meant to live.

    Like

  2. Oceana Says:

    Deeply resonating with your description, with such eloquent and heartfelt depth. Thank you for sharing your experience here. Your words are a gift.

    Like

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