Stuck in a Rut of Depression

rut

Someone recently said to me that she wanted to “transcend the mundane” and felt she was stuck in a rut of old, unhealthy patterns and dysfunction.  I thought about times when I was stuck and how it used to play out for me, and how it plays out now that I have almost forty years of deep personal work under my belt.

There’s a very clear difference.  Thirty-eight years ago, I knew I was at cause, but didn’t have the tools or skills necessary to understand the nuances of how to pull myself out, other than affirmations and an image board, journaling, and self-blame.  Way back then, I wasn’t as clear about how to distinguish being at cause about my entire reality versus being to blame for my entire reality.

So blaming myself when I couldn’t figure out how to make things better was my recourse, and it would spiral into the most excruciating depression, hopelessness, and longing to just make the pain stop…even fantasizing about and then attempting suicide.

Somehow my will to keep learning and persevering on the path of various transformational modalities began to pay off, and I got better at finding strategies to get myself aligned again.  The greatest learning about depression for me was to own my anger, my rage, my upset, and master how to express my boundaries in a safe and grounded way.  Once I began to express my anger by making requests of others that honored my newly discovered boundaries, I stopped turning my anger towards myself.

This took time, practice, and mistakes.  I failed a lot, and then learned from the failures.  I made a little progress each time.  Life began to improve, and as I stopped making other people’s wants far more important than my needs, I became a happier person. That’s one small  example of how I overcame a debilitating rut.

The various skills I’ve learned over the years I’ve tested repeatedly, and I continue to acquire more.  Mostly, I’ve come to realize that I love to learn, and so I honor that by diving into learning whatever it is I find fascinating.  It just so happens that all of it is in the realm of spirituality, transformation, psychology, relationship, sexuality, and esoteric studies.

The ruts I see my clients stuck in most often are the ruts of people-pleasing, not keeping their word (a basic tenet for becoming more powerful is to keep your word), a habit of putting other people first and getting lost in overwhelm, and or finding an old pattern of behavior they’re stuck in and not getting the energy healing necessary to break free from it.  These are all ways in which we sabotage ourselves, especially as women.

The good news is that self-love is the super vitamin that can make all healing possible, and it improves our lives dramatically.  And so I start there, with daily practices that infuse self-love and self-worth that begin to lift a person immediately from whatever rut they’re in.  Then we get into some nitty gritty pattern shifts and healing work.

Whatever rut you’re in, begin with self-love.  You can start by telling yourself that you love you very much, each and every day.  It can be that simple.  Let that love into your heart and feel it wrap around you like a soft, warm blanket.  Do it often and out loud.

Here’s to Loving You,

Goddess Oceana

Message me to schedule a fifteen minute call to find out how to work with me to live a happier, more fulfilling life.  I help women connect deeply to their inner spiritual guidance and become the sensual, powerful goddess they were meant to be while co-creating their deepest desires with the universe.

Email me:  Oceana@GoddessOceana.com

 

 

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