Archive for the ‘Leadership’ Category

All Those Lonely Men

December 15, 2017

lonely man

 

“This is for all the lonely people.”
I saw an elderly woman in a waiting room the other day. She was having a great time chatting everyone up. At first, people were giving her the side-eye, wondering if she was normal or a bit crazy, talking to all those strangers as if she were there friend.
Soon, though, one person began to warm up to her and responded, and they started talking. Others looked curious.
After a while, everyone was smiling and relaxing more in their chairs.
The scenario struck me as familiar in how I tend to move through the world, fortunate to have been raised by a mother who treated everyone as if they were her children. She was outgoing and friendly, and really didn’t think anything of talking to people around her. With that role model ( and often included in the conversations as a child) I find that I am the same way.


During this holiday season, it saddens me to think of so many who have no one to celebrate with, or who are experiencing such deep loss or suffering that the celebrations around them only seem to compound the loneliness.


I heard yesterday from Dr. Christiane Northrup who was doing a video, that men are 4% more likely to commit suicide, and 50% of men do not have a single close friend to talk to (from the Mask of Masculinity by Louis Howes).

It was quite shocking to me, that number.  I began to think about how much easier it seems for many women to create community around themselves, with that gatherer mentality. So I’m wanting to encourage men to reach out if they’re feeling isolated.
I have the honor of men writing to me, in my line of work, who are sincerely expressing their feelings and transparently tell me of their struggles. I feel especially humbled that they courageously risk and reach out, in a culture that does not encourage emotional transparency in males.
I opened my work to men recently, because although women’s empowerment has been my focus, I now realize that my original purpose of healing the feminine does not preclude men, but includes the feminine in all of us.
This morning, I’m thinking about how all of us, men and women, can stretch a little further into reaching out with caring and sensitivity to others during the holidays.
After all, we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Would love to hear from you in the comments.  What are some ways that you reach out or don’t reach out, and

~ Goddess Oceana

www.GoddessOceana.com

https://www.facebook.com/GoddessOceana/

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Stuck in a Rut of Depression

December 8, 2017

rut

Someone recently said to me that she wanted to “transcend the mundane” and felt she was stuck in a rut of old, unhealthy patterns and dysfunction.  I thought about times when I was stuck and how it used to play out for me, and how it plays out now that I have almost forty years of deep personal work under my belt.

There’s a very clear difference.  Thirty-eight years ago, I knew I was at cause, but didn’t have the tools or skills necessary to understand the nuances of how to pull myself out, other than affirmations and an image board, journaling, and self-blame.  Way back then, I wasn’t as clear about how to distinguish being at cause about my entire reality versus being to blame for my entire reality.

So blaming myself when I couldn’t figure out how to make things better was my recourse, and it would spiral into the most excruciating depression, hopelessness, and longing to just make the pain stop…even fantasizing about and then attempting suicide.

Somehow my will to keep learning and persevering on the path of various transformational modalities began to pay off, and I got better at finding strategies to get myself aligned again.  The greatest learning about depression for me was to own my anger, my rage, my upset, and master how to express my boundaries in a safe and grounded way.  Once I began to express my anger by making requests of others that honored my newly discovered boundaries, I stopped turning my anger towards myself.

This took time, practice, and mistakes.  I failed a lot, and then learned from the failures.  I made a little progress each time.  Life began to improve, and as I stopped making other people’s wants far more important than my needs, I became a happier person. That’s one small  example of how I overcame a debilitating rut.

The various skills I’ve learned over the years I’ve tested repeatedly, and I continue to acquire more.  Mostly, I’ve come to realize that I love to learn, and so I honor that by diving into learning whatever it is I find fascinating.  It just so happens that all of it is in the realm of spirituality, transformation, psychology, relationship, sexuality, and esoteric studies.

The ruts I see my clients stuck in most often are the ruts of people-pleasing, not keeping their word (a basic tenet for becoming more powerful is to keep your word), a habit of putting other people first and getting lost in overwhelm, and or finding an old pattern of behavior they’re stuck in and not getting the energy healing necessary to break free from it.  These are all ways in which we sabotage ourselves, especially as women.

The good news is that self-love is the super vitamin that can make all healing possible, and it improves our lives dramatically.  And so I start there, with daily practices that infuse self-love and self-worth that begin to lift a person immediately from whatever rut they’re in.  Then we get into some nitty gritty pattern shifts and healing work.

Whatever rut you’re in, begin with self-love.  You can start by telling yourself that you love you very much, each and every day.  It can be that simple.  Let that love into your heart and feel it wrap around you like a soft, warm blanket.  Do it often and out loud.

Here’s to Loving You,

Goddess Oceana

Message me to schedule a fifteen minute call to find out how to work with me to live a happier, more fulfilling life.  I help women connect deeply to their inner spiritual guidance and become the sensual, powerful goddess they were meant to be while co-creating their deepest desires with the universe.

Email me:  Oceana@GoddessOceana.com

 

 

Would Anyone Miss You?

December 7, 2017

thoughtful-things-to-do-for-someone-with-migraines-720We all wonder who, if anyone, might miss us if we disappeared from the earth one day.  At least, I’ve pondered this.  But I don’t think I’m all that unique, because as human beings we all want to know that we matter, right?

So I was thinking about this today as I was thinking about you.  It occurred to me that when you don’t hear from me, you don’t message me to complain about it.  And that tells me something really important: that you’re not getting as much out of what I offer as I would like you to receive.

Why do I care?  Because I’m only here for a little bit longer, on this dirtball spinning around in the cosmos, a speck with a teensy life span in the huge picture of it all.  And it’s important to me to at least offer something back for this immense, magnificent gift called a lifetime.  I want, I need, I desire, I yearn to leave you with something more than having taken up space.

I’m thinking that we all want that in some way, and that we could do this together, this making a difference thing.  My joy is to inspire others and have a blast doing so.  I love it when someone is lit up and goes out to spread some love in the world, out of something I wrote or a conversation we had.

Today, I’m starting a New Year’s Resolution several weeks early.  I want you to miss me when I don’t show up.  I think that can happen if I share more of myself with you, and inspire you in some way to do that in your life.

If you stop to think about who might miss you if you weren’t present or forgot to write your blog entry, or missed the party, what one thing do you bring that noone else brings?

What is your gift of presence in the world?  What is unique to you that either lights up a room, or has others feeling especially loved or heart, or has them swooning from the taste of your special cookies?

And to answer these questions, I think you have to really reach a bit deeper and find what lights YOU up.  Because I guarantee that if you are honestly following your bliss in this world, then that bliss overflows and becomes the gift you bring better than anyone else.

Who would miss you, and what can you begin doing today that ensures you give that unique gift every single day for the rest of your life, like you really mean it?

Live your gifts out loud,

Goddess Oceana

 

A Woman Is No Idiot

December 8, 2015

Something happens to a woman when she is betrayed or rejected by someone she openly trusts and lets in very close.
If she does not have the skills or tools to recover, she tends to isolate, withdraw, and become wary after a while, of anyone trying to come in close.
Wounded, she unconsciously puts those dearest and closest through their paces over and over again, continuing to test their loyalty to guard fervently against further soul terrorism.
If she’s wise, she receives the gifts from her pain, and places shrewd guardians at the door of her soul who demand the heights of pre-earned trust for entry into her orb.
Earned trust is easy to discern as she learns to trust herself.
She becomes stealthy underneath her silken curves.
She paces herself, firmly rooted in her worth.
She honors herself first.

A woman is no idiot.
A woman is a creator of beauty in all things.
A woman will give until her last breath unless she is betrayed.
A woman bestows life and a woman magnifies splendor.
A woman‘s attention is rapturous.
A woman‘s wrath is chaos embodied, destroying and feeding the fires of transformation.
A woman is born, dies, and is reborn a thousand times a day.
A woman can live lifetimes into one look, ignite journeys of the heart with a single touch, and can move mountains with her pleasure.

~Goddess Oceana

 

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

Be A Goddessly Intender

December 7, 2015

magicwand

 

People ask me what living like a goddess looks like. There’s no simple answer. It can be the smallest, most subtle change in an intention that makes all the difference in the world.

When I mentor women into bringing out their inner goddess, living life like a goddess, and being an embodied goddess, we practice many tools over time until they become second nature. One of these tools is the power of intention.

It’s a shift of mind that can completely alchemize any situation, turn the tide on the outcome of the day, and even make a meal an absolutely healing experience.

Working with intention is one of the most powerful spiritual moves we have as human beings.

Intention is a silent form of mental focus that imprints the invisible field of creation with a recipe for manifestation of whatever we desire.

What that means simply, is that when we focus a clearly articulated idea of what we want, it sends waves of information out into the quantum field of energy we’re a part of, and that energy has the sole purpose of following information waves.

Setting an intention is potent magic, the kind that a goddess can easily use to create wonderful things.

Next time you’re focused on someone and wondering what you can do to elicit something good, set an intention to focus on the good things you see about them rather than the negative. What we focus on grows, and intention can ramp that up tremendously.

Go ahead and grant someone their humanity today by giving them the benefit of the doubt. Find something to love about them. Doubt that their intentions are bad.

Assume their intentions are good.

See what happens.

 

Let me know how it goes. I love hearing from you!

 

Blissings and Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

 

Are You Too Much, Not Enough, Or Just Plain Confused?

June 30, 2015

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Do you shrink yourself to be more pleasing?

Do you go blank when someone asks you what you want, or make something up in hopes it will turn out well?

Are you confused about why men don’t seem attracted to you, or do you miss the signals?

You’re not alone, sister.  So many of us are stymied by the crazy mixed messages we are bombarded with from the media, and even more importantly, by the way we’ve been trained to be silent, appeasing, and people pleasing.  It becomes a habit based in fear and self-preservation.

You don’t need this habit, but wow does it take hold when it’s reinforced by attitudes in the culture, commercials, and good old-fashioned female oppression.

The truth is that you are never too much, you’re always enough, and you know way more than you give yourself credit for, you goddess!  But how are you supposed to tap into this type of confidence, courage and savvy?

This is my specialty, and I have been through it for decades until I figured it out.  I was the ultimate people pleaser, good girl, quiet and polite lady who spent a whole lot of time battling depression, failed relationships, a failed marriage, and even abuse and rape.

My journey to wholeness began  very slowly, years before I realized I had a problem.  I was training in Law of Attraction and spiritual mysticism early on in my teens, and started my passion for attending transformational workshops in my twenties.  But it wasn’t enough to wipe out the low self-worth I was battling.  Brilliant teachings and trainings were wonderful, and I benefitted immensely, but they didn’t change the deepest core of my particular emotional and mental wounding.

The process of healing took me three decades and was a relentless search on my part, healing layer after layer after layer.  I went through what I would call a spiritual death in my early forties, and the journey back from that was through my ongoing intensive training in the Divine Feminine mysteries, wisewoman teachings, shamanic trainings, and decades of practicing tantric yoga.

I believe there is a reason for everything we experience, and that the soul is imbued with a Divine Plan in collaboration with our inherent desires for ecstasy.

What I offer you now as an elder is the full scope of all that I’ve learned and practiced over my lifetime.  One method doesn’t work for everyone, as you are a unique and wondrous creature with a path as intricate and distinct as a snowflake.  Every individual has their own story to be lived and liberated into an enlightened legend, and for most of us, the support and guidance of a wise teacher with many experiences and an array of skills is necessary.

My passion is to dive deep with women and peer into their souls, support them to fulfill their Divine Destiny with joy, love, and sensuality as their inherent birthright.

Blissings & Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Goddess Oceana is a certified Tantric Yoga Teacher, Shaman, and Women’s Empowerment Coach. If you’re a woman who wants to embrace your inner power to attract and create more money, and become a magnet to more positive relationships, go here for the free series, The Seven Goddess Secrets Every Modern Woman Must Know To Live In Passionate Pleasure now.

 

Do Shame Differently

June 19, 2014

I love to recycle the shameful and humiliating experiences in my life in ways that celebrate the fullness of the ways they enrich my expansion.  For instance, recently I held an event where no one showed up.  I spent two hours preparing the space and the materials, countless hours marketing and working on the site, social media, and emailing, etc.

What’s a goddess to do when this happens?  I chose to bask in the gorgeous space I created, eat the chocolates I brought, dance to the fabulous playlist I created, and make a sensual dance video while looking out at the lake.

 

Fully prepared tantric yoga circle for doing shame differently.

Fully prepared tantric yoga circle for doing shame differently.

This shifts the focus from victimization to sourcing and from resistance to flow.  It’s also called “riding the horse in the direction it’s going”, according to Werner Erhard, founder of est.

Engaging the flow, allowing the emotions to move through and surrendering to them, we find ourselves unleashed, less somatically blocked, and more fully alive.  It’s a good thing.  Tears can come and they’re well received.  We are gentle with ourselves and can find the ecstasy in the mundane.

Very soon I am creating an event where I will celebrate the people who have dumped me for their perfect self-exorcism, and release the crappy energy they left behind, bury the loss and humiliation in a funeral pyre, and make the very most out of my black wardrobe.  It will be a funeral for shame.  Cuz that’s the way I roll. 😉

~Goddess Oceana

www.GoddessOceana.com

Balance Is Absurd

January 23, 2014

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The almighty experts who are trying to figure out how women can have it all tell us that above all, we must strive for balance.  Better yet, draw a pie graph and label each slice with a different area of your life and give each slice a number from one to ten.  Then work harder on the low numbers.  I have news for these experts, girlfriend.  The people who create these graph exercises are missing the fact that for each woman there are many, many levels of pies all stacked up, some thrown and some eaten.  A woman can eat a pie and bake another one that matches it and no one will ever be the wiser.  It’s just not so simple.  After years of following expert advice like a good girl, why am I coming up facing the same struggle and beating myself up on top of it?  I’ve given this some thought, done some intensive research, and am realizing there are a few things I have to say on the matter.

First of all, a woman striving for balance is like a cloud trying to maintain precipitation without ever raining.  Women are not linear beings going from point A to point B in one straight, even, carefully drawn line.  The women I know are messy, neat, beautiful, disheveled, passionate, irritable, sweet, generous, terrified, confident, completely neurotic, powerful, sexy, intimidated, anxious, boring, exciting, insecure, happy, depressed, on fire, and so very much more.  In fact, every single one of these adjectives could describe one single woman at any given time.  The women I have experienced who seem to have their lives in perfect balance on the outside are often lacking a certain internal fire, a spark in their eyes, or are medicated unduly by unwitting professionals trying to treat a label rather than dig deeper.  Just sayin.  I’m personally convinced that balance is something water finds, scales measure, and construction workers who aren’t in a messy hurry find with a level.

The single thing that has lit me up and given me a sense of ownership and creative power in my life has been pleasure as a practice, combined with an internal experience of the sacredness of all of life, wrapped up in the love of other women.  There’s a certain knowing that goes womb-deep that women hold for each other, unspoken, palpable, and in a silent language “bone”.  It’s something we just know in our bones, as ancient as our ancestral line.  Just as men have a language, women have a sisterhood that we need around us to survive well and to take the dives into the mystery that only women sense.  It’s wrapped up in shadows and pleasure, passionate creativity, loss and grieving, and seduction mixed with rolling laughter.  For us to find our center, we truly do need the love and support of other women.

The experts have the right idea you know, that there’s something we need to steer ourselves towards our joyful fulfillment in this life, but it’s not a perfectly balanced pie.  It’s more of a sacred agreement to honor our core knowing, and to do it much as we have been taught by our bodies, in messy, loud colors and soft hues of rising and reposing cycles.  We are to honor, cherish, and nurture pleasure in utter defiance of a culture that repudiates it.  I’m convinced that balance takes care of itself when we are true to ourselves, and that pies are for sharing, the more the better.  We can go ahead and use the graph to lay out a plan, but if we make the graph more important than our sense of bone knowing when the body says no, we risk coming from a flat line and missing out on the sheer pleasure of being alive.  A woman knows, but a place where she can be heard tiptoeing towards her core with tears and fire is the sacred, cyclical, ever-changing map towards her true desires and her passion.  Let this be the new “balance”.

Sticky Sweet Surrender To The Goddess

June 3, 2013

Oceanna Soul Signature_ (1)

Everyone was asking me how it went.  They followed my Facebook journey of a vision I’ve had for years that came to me and stuck like honey, sticky and annoying, but oh so sweet and good.  At first I wanted nothing to do with it because it terrified me.  Imagine seeing something so amazing and then finding out that this awesome undertaking is yours?  Terror.   I spent about two years running away from it, avoiding it, denying it.

This vision haunted me, and when I mentioned it to a few friends, they continued to ask me about how it was coming along.  The questions were a blessing and a heavy burden as I wrestled with my longing and fought with perfectionism, divine timing, and a maddening drip of information.  You see, I had snapshots of this vision but no idea of the details, the how, the when, the mechanics.

Pieces began to show up, and I realized slowly that I had to be in a state of complete surrender for this awesome vision to move through me.  I had to be willing to be inside of not knowing, and still put one foot in front of the other.  I have never, in my years of facilitating, leading, and creating, had to surrender this far.  I had to surrender everything.

Realizing this ridiculously vulnerable level of surrender explained my initial terror and the ensuing chaos leading up to the first official event.  We think things happen to us, but truly there is a direct correlation between our resistance and the details of our lives, and how they reflect our inner world perfectly.  Fully aware of this, I chose a date, secured it with a yoga studio, and off we went.  The dramatic stories about not having a space, not knowing who was attending (if anyone), being offered a space out of nowhere, having people I had never even met show up, personal life crises leading up to the date of the event, all of these things were clearly testing my commitment and forcing me to trust.

Imagine meeting someone for the first time who tells you that they heard your name when they were swimming in the ocean two years earlier and so they followed that guidance and did a Google search, which led them to this event face to face that you’ve spent years knowing was yours to manifest?  The Divine was winking hard when I sat in the first sacred circle of this vision and this dear woman told me how she had found me.   This is the type of mad miracle I live with, and similar stories of spontaneous healings, synchronicity, and last-minute saving graces over the years since I dedicated my life to Her work.  I can only surmise that the level to which I am willing to surrender to Grace is in direct proportion to these occurrences of outrageous and magical “coincidence”.

The event was far from what my vision depicts, and yet deep in my belly I have absolutely no doubt that this is the beginning of that creation.  I have had very clear instructions showing up now in the form of signs.  People have expressed a sudden knowing that they are supposed to do this with me.  What I need and desire for support has shown up precisely when I need it.  I feel a fire in my yoni with this vision’s name on it.

How did the first gathering go?  In a few words, it went great and everyone loved it.  They want more.  I want more.  I have been seduced fully by the Divine and cannot resist the allure, the pull, the sweetness of the fulfillment of this vision.  The Goddess Temple is here to stay, and I have fully surrendered.  The orgasmic wave has only just begun to tremble and I will be riding this wave for a long, long, long time.

~Goddess Oceana

http://www.GoddessOceana.com

http://www.facebook.com/GoddessOceana

~image taken by Erica Tripp Photography and enhanced by Lucinda Kinch

What’s Right With You?

April 23, 2013

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Is there something right with me?  This is what I feel we could be asking.  It begs a whole different response from the universe. Too often I’ve heard the voice in my head asking what could be wrong with me.  Do you ever feel that way?  Do you feel that what’s going on around you seems so different from what you are experiencing that you start to think you just don’t fit in, you’re in the wrong place, from a different planet, or you’re simply clueless and can’t figure out this mysterious language everyone around you is speaking?

Lately, I’ve begun to see clues that reflect I’m not defective, but rather that those inner understandings were way, way ahead of their time.  People are suddenly saying things I was thinking years ago.  I feel affirmed.  I feel a bit disgusted that I didn’t believe in myself earlier. I’m wondering, actually, how long it will take them to start reflecting the things I’ve been intuiting more recently.  And I’ve been wondering how I can verbalize how I see things, what I’m feeling, and what it’s like for me now so I can head them off at the pass this time.

This is the beauty of healing and loving oneself.  I’m here to tell you that you can make this trip and it’s worth it.  You can begin to replace the question of what’s wrong with you, with finding ways to agree with the perfection and exquisite beauty of exactly who you are and how you are in every single moment.

You may have some deep conditioning around how bad you are when you get angry, because nice girls don’t do that.  Or perhaps you see all the ways you could have handled a situation better, and you’re busy getting down on yourself for not knowing better.  The truth is that we cannot know better until we know worse.  Only in researching and failing do we learn and improve.  What matters is how we frame what occurred into a story that empowers rather than diminishes us.

How could you possibly know what you didn’t know?  Maybe this is a good place to begin.  Find yourself right.  Have some mercy on the moment, on your humanity, on the you that deeply cares.  If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be so upset that you screwed up, or that you didn’t get it, or that you might have handled it a whole lot better.

Forgiving ourselves begins in a moment, when we can ask what’s right with us and give it a resounding ‘hell yeah’!  I offer the question now.  What’s right with you?

~Oceana LeBlanc is a transformational leader, women’s empowerment coach, tantric yogini, and shaman.

http://www.goddessoceana.com


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