Archive for the ‘romance’ Category

A Pleasure Practice Tidbit That’s Not Frivolous

August 14, 2017
decadent pleasure137812198
Do you have any idea how important pleasure is?
I feel like a broken record sometimes, repeating myself about pleasure and how women absolutely must receive it on a daily basis.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame anyone for not understanding this concept immediately.  Our whole culture teaches us that pleasure is a frivolous pastime, and that only hard workers get theirs.
And guess who made this falsity up?  You got it, the patriarchy.  I’m not going to get all political on you, but I am going to be completely honest with you.  The masculine way is to power through things, but sweetest goddess, we are not men!
We’re women, divine and radiant, soft and curvy, emotive and passionate and vibrating with the power of Shakti, the Feminine Principle of God, Who absolutely demands pleasure in order for us to create.
Have I got your attention?  Oh good, because I’m on a mission here to wake you up, show you some new things, and hopefully to deposit you smack into the epicenter of your sacred power.
Today, have I ever got a new practice tool for you!
If you’re up for it, take some pleasure into every single day of your life.  It doesn’t matter where you start, either with a favorite food or a full out orgasm, and anything in between, but just please do it.
Take the time to savor receiving that pleasure deeply into your whole body, your psyche, your aura.  Let it engulf you, infuse you, introduce you to what you’re missing and what you need like you need air.
I hope to hear back from you that you’ve discovered something, and that you’re taking on these introductory tips I’m sending out regularly.
I’m having a blast ramping up to open registration for the upcoming brand new course I’ve created, Divine Feminine Sensual Power Online Course.
Registration opens soon!  To make sure you’re on the list to receive first notice, please  subscribe to my newsletter at www.goddessoceana.com.
Written With the Utmost Pleasure  ~Goddess Oceana
Advertisements

Pleasured

February 18, 2016

bubble-bath

Do you make time for pleasure in your life?

Recently I ran a short, five day challenge for women to immerse themselves in various kinds of pleasure.  It’s strange to think that simply generating some pleasurable activities in one’s life could be such a big undertaking, wrought with resistance and avoidance.

Five straight days is more than most people can muster up a daily act of pleasure. To my surprise, about fifteen women out of almost a hundred really went for it and reported their exuberant findings as well as their struggles with it.  I didn’t expect so many heartfelt, transparent, gorgeous descriptions of what they were facing, and was so impressed.

I’ve been practicing pleasure, studying about pleasure, and teaching pleasure in various forms over the years, and what I’ve come to learn is that our culture simply does not value it.  This fact alone can stop some women cold.  Some of the struggles in the pleasure challenge were feeling guilty, too busy serving others, and difficulty finding time alone to do something pleasurable in their hectic days.

A very few participants were already practicing infusing pleasure into their lives as a way to heal and nurture themselves. Women were sharing all of the ways they found pleasure in life, ways they created more, and desires for even more.  It was such a gorgeous thing to see women sharing and learning something so simple, yet so powerful.

There were deep realizations about how focusing on pleasure brought so much awareness of even more pleasure they’d never noticed.  Vibrancy, deserving, worth, and even profound joy unfolded.  New ideas, enthusiasm and even recipes for pleasure were shared.

I have no intention of closing this amazing group.  With women joining daily, asking me what it is and how they can participate,  we’ll continue to focus on pleasure.  We’ll encourage each other to keep up the important work of enjoying life, honoring our bodies, reveling in our femininity, and opening to receiving more abundance. I’m convinced that the gateway of gratitude is primed by pleasure.

~Goddess Oceana

How can you join the Goddess Pleasure Challenge group?  Follow this LINK and ask to join.

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

 

 

Speechless During Sex?

January 18, 2016

84818c9124bbd3d4aba2bd9f0f685ad4

Let’s get down to business, shall we?

Your pleasure plays a huge role in how empowered you are.  My mission is to teach you how to be a goddess, and goddesses are powerful.  One of the myriad teachings I share is how to live a pleasure-filled life, bask in sensuality, and enjoy the incredible benefits that come from such a badass lifestyle.

Before I became an empowered goddess, I was a shy, mute, lovely and good girl.  Unskilled and inexperienced sexually, I naively hoped for the best and mostly got the worst.  In those days, the only information available was in the few books we could find on the subject, magazines, and word of mouth.  All of it was sadly lacking, and we were hugely misinformed.

A big part of my awakening sexually happened when I discovered vibrators.  It changed my life.  Suddenly I was feeling things I hadn’t known I could feel.  In short, self pleasure became the key to understanding my body and in showing my lover what worked for me.  Years later, I became a sex educator for a well-known toy consultancy, and one of the themes we found most beneficial for women was teaching them that self pleasure is the key, in fact, to all women’s success in having optimal pleasure with lovers.

Many types of empowerment and sexuality trainings  later, what emerged was another aha… the absolute necessity of certain types of communication in bed.  Yes, we hear it and read it everywhere, but I have an idea that not everyone actually practices it.  Nor do they know how.

Here are a couple of tips on successful pleasuring communication:

  • Practice speaking up every time something feels good with describing exactly when and what, even if you don’t feel confident in doing so at first.  (Practice, practice, practice).
  • If something is not to your liking, instead of just laying a complaint on your partner, keep the passion flowing by first saying what did feel good or what you do like about them or what they’re doing, and follow with requesting what you want more of or  want different.
  • Keep breathing.  Holding your breath (which many do unconsciously when they’re revved up) constricts energy, inhibits communication, and freezes the response.  Just remember to breathe, and if you notice you stopped, start again with slower, longer breaths.  Short, shallow breath can also shorten orgasm.  Long, conscious breathing prolongs pleasure. Breathing can also be a way of communicating.  Even if we don’t realize it, we sense so much from another’s breathing patterns.
  • If all else fails, ask your lover to receive, and show them what you like by touching them they way you wish to be touched, kissed, or stroked.

Speaking up in bed can be so scary for some women, especially if past abuse or trauma is present.  Be gentle with yourself and start slowly, and celebrate every successful communication, no matter how small it may seem.  One tiny step at a time, over time, will reap huge rewards, I promise.

Juicy Goddess Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

 

True Love Terror

December 14, 2015

ripping heart

Women tell me about how much they want to have great relationships all the time.  There are articles all over the internet about how to find the man of your dreams and keep him, how to have a better marriage, and how to deepen the intimacy with your lover.

Many women talk about what their partner is or isn’t doing that’s making them unhappy.  They speak of the dream relationship they want, and they spend tons of time trying to figure out what they’re doing wrong, or what makes their man tick.  They contort themselves into emotional pretzels fretting about the other woman, or about how they can get their man to treat them the way they want to be treated.

This article isn’t going to tell you the answers to any of it right now, because I think I’ve stumbled on the one thing that no one is talking about.  This one thing is at the absolute core of all of this commotion.

You see, no one comes to me describing the terrifying act of opening their heart to a man fully and completely, allowing themselves to be so utterly vulnerable that they stop trying to attack him covertly in an attempt to control him so they can feel safer.

The one thing not many women are talking about is how terrifying it is to be deeply in love.  Because, I tell you in all truth, it is fucking scary.  It’s scary to think that this one man could leave you grief-stricken in his absence, your heart ripped apart and bleeding.

How can I be so sure of this?  Because even after twenty-five years with a rock solid guy, I found myself facing the deepest level of intimacy I’ve ever experienced.

I’d been training myself in vulnerability, the deepest surrender, setting ego aside, and putting our love first and foremost.  I don’t do things halfway, and I wanted the very best marriage I could imagine.  The nature of my work as a mentor insists that I live what I teach.  So, I wouldn’t be satisfied until I had plummeted into the depths of my man’s heart and felt a complete union of souls.

In order to do this, I had to drop every single barrier to intimacy I had acquired in my life, from trying to control him, to hiding my traces of shame, to allowing him to be right when he was right, to being willing to be wrong in order to put love first…the list goes on.  In essence, I had to stop emasculating him, even in the most subtle ways that were almost unconscious.

What happened next took my breath away.  Unexpected, incredible, magnificent love showed up.

When I trusted him completely, and told my core truth without unconsciously trying to hurt him first to make myself feel safe, he responded with love.  In trusting him first, he lived up to my trust and beyond.

Today, I found myself in tears expressing my worst fears to my beloved, all wrapped up in my profound love.  In allowing myself to be absolutely raw in my transparency, I experienced terror.  For the first time in my life, I was face to face with the terror of the deepest love I had allowed myself to surrender to a man in this lifetime.

And so I say to you, what’s underneath all of those challenges you’re facing in your relationship is most likely terror at what it may mean to love fully, completely, openly, and without a safety net.

What if you give your whole heart, your tender vulnerability, your whole life to this man, and one day you wake up and he’s no longer there?  What if you’re both elderly and he goes first?  What if you give up cutting him down at the knees with criticism and complaining, and instead get curious about what makes a man tick?

What if you surrender, throw up the white flag, and allow him to deeply love you…and trust him to catch you when you stumble?

~Goddess Oceana

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

Be A Goddessly Intender

December 7, 2015

magicwand

 

People ask me what living like a goddess looks like. There’s no simple answer. It can be the smallest, most subtle change in an intention that makes all the difference in the world.

When I mentor women into bringing out their inner goddess, living life like a goddess, and being an embodied goddess, we practice many tools over time until they become second nature. One of these tools is the power of intention.

It’s a shift of mind that can completely alchemize any situation, turn the tide on the outcome of the day, and even make a meal an absolutely healing experience.

Working with intention is one of the most powerful spiritual moves we have as human beings.

Intention is a silent form of mental focus that imprints the invisible field of creation with a recipe for manifestation of whatever we desire.

What that means simply, is that when we focus a clearly articulated idea of what we want, it sends waves of information out into the quantum field of energy we’re a part of, and that energy has the sole purpose of following information waves.

Setting an intention is potent magic, the kind that a goddess can easily use to create wonderful things.

Next time you’re focused on someone and wondering what you can do to elicit something good, set an intention to focus on the good things you see about them rather than the negative. What we focus on grows, and intention can ramp that up tremendously.

Go ahead and grant someone their humanity today by giving them the benefit of the doubt. Find something to love about them. Doubt that their intentions are bad.

Assume their intentions are good.

See what happens.

 

Let me know how it goes. I love hearing from you!

 

Blissings and Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

 

Are You Too Much, Not Enough, Or Just Plain Confused?

June 30, 2015

goddess_oceana_art_stretched_canvas_print-r970a6c16d5b04795a55fa6596c5e9b81_z3xig_8byvr_1024

Do you shrink yourself to be more pleasing?

Do you go blank when someone asks you what you want, or make something up in hopes it will turn out well?

Are you confused about why men don’t seem attracted to you, or do you miss the signals?

You’re not alone, sister.  So many of us are stymied by the crazy mixed messages we are bombarded with from the media, and even more importantly, by the way we’ve been trained to be silent, appeasing, and people pleasing.  It becomes a habit based in fear and self-preservation.

You don’t need this habit, but wow does it take hold when it’s reinforced by attitudes in the culture, commercials, and good old-fashioned female oppression.

The truth is that you are never too much, you’re always enough, and you know way more than you give yourself credit for, you goddess!  But how are you supposed to tap into this type of confidence, courage and savvy?

This is my specialty, and I have been through it for decades until I figured it out.  I was the ultimate people pleaser, good girl, quiet and polite lady who spent a whole lot of time battling depression, failed relationships, a failed marriage, and even abuse and rape.

My journey to wholeness began  very slowly, years before I realized I had a problem.  I was training in Law of Attraction and spiritual mysticism early on in my teens, and started my passion for attending transformational workshops in my twenties.  But it wasn’t enough to wipe out the low self-worth I was battling.  Brilliant teachings and trainings were wonderful, and I benefitted immensely, but they didn’t change the deepest core of my particular emotional and mental wounding.

The process of healing took me three decades and was a relentless search on my part, healing layer after layer after layer.  I went through what I would call a spiritual death in my early forties, and the journey back from that was through my ongoing intensive training in the Divine Feminine mysteries, wisewoman teachings, shamanic trainings, and decades of practicing tantric yoga.

I believe there is a reason for everything we experience, and that the soul is imbued with a Divine Plan in collaboration with our inherent desires for ecstasy.

What I offer you now as an elder is the full scope of all that I’ve learned and practiced over my lifetime.  One method doesn’t work for everyone, as you are a unique and wondrous creature with a path as intricate and distinct as a snowflake.  Every individual has their own story to be lived and liberated into an enlightened legend, and for most of us, the support and guidance of a wise teacher with many experiences and an array of skills is necessary.

My passion is to dive deep with women and peer into their souls, support them to fulfill their Divine Destiny with joy, love, and sensuality as their inherent birthright.

Blissings & Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Goddess Oceana is a certified Tantric Yoga Teacher, Shaman, and Women’s Empowerment Coach. If you’re a woman who wants to embrace your inner power to attract and create more money, and become a magnet to more positive relationships, go here for the free series, The Seven Goddess Secrets Every Modern Woman Must Know To Live In Passionate Pleasure now.

 

Do Shame Differently

June 19, 2014

I love to recycle the shameful and humiliating experiences in my life in ways that celebrate the fullness of the ways they enrich my expansion.  For instance, recently I held an event where no one showed up.  I spent two hours preparing the space and the materials, countless hours marketing and working on the site, social media, and emailing, etc.

What’s a goddess to do when this happens?  I chose to bask in the gorgeous space I created, eat the chocolates I brought, dance to the fabulous playlist I created, and make a sensual dance video while looking out at the lake.

 

Fully prepared tantric yoga circle for doing shame differently.

Fully prepared tantric yoga circle for doing shame differently.

This shifts the focus from victimization to sourcing and from resistance to flow.  It’s also called “riding the horse in the direction it’s going”, according to Werner Erhard, founder of est.

Engaging the flow, allowing the emotions to move through and surrendering to them, we find ourselves unleashed, less somatically blocked, and more fully alive.  It’s a good thing.  Tears can come and they’re well received.  We are gentle with ourselves and can find the ecstasy in the mundane.

Very soon I am creating an event where I will celebrate the people who have dumped me for their perfect self-exorcism, and release the crappy energy they left behind, bury the loss and humiliation in a funeral pyre, and make the very most out of my black wardrobe.  It will be a funeral for shame.  Cuz that’s the way I roll. 😉

~Goddess Oceana

www.GoddessOceana.com

Balance Is Absurd

January 23, 2014

she-doesnt-quite-have-it-all-copy

The almighty experts who are trying to figure out how women can have it all tell us that above all, we must strive for balance.  Better yet, draw a pie graph and label each slice with a different area of your life and give each slice a number from one to ten.  Then work harder on the low numbers.  I have news for these experts, girlfriend.  The people who create these graph exercises are missing the fact that for each woman there are many, many levels of pies all stacked up, some thrown and some eaten.  A woman can eat a pie and bake another one that matches it and no one will ever be the wiser.  It’s just not so simple.  After years of following expert advice like a good girl, why am I coming up facing the same struggle and beating myself up on top of it?  I’ve given this some thought, done some intensive research, and am realizing there are a few things I have to say on the matter.

First of all, a woman striving for balance is like a cloud trying to maintain precipitation without ever raining.  Women are not linear beings going from point A to point B in one straight, even, carefully drawn line.  The women I know are messy, neat, beautiful, disheveled, passionate, irritable, sweet, generous, terrified, confident, completely neurotic, powerful, sexy, intimidated, anxious, boring, exciting, insecure, happy, depressed, on fire, and so very much more.  In fact, every single one of these adjectives could describe one single woman at any given time.  The women I have experienced who seem to have their lives in perfect balance on the outside are often lacking a certain internal fire, a spark in their eyes, or are medicated unduly by unwitting professionals trying to treat a label rather than dig deeper.  Just sayin.  I’m personally convinced that balance is something water finds, scales measure, and construction workers who aren’t in a messy hurry find with a level.

The single thing that has lit me up and given me a sense of ownership and creative power in my life has been pleasure as a practice, combined with an internal experience of the sacredness of all of life, wrapped up in the love of other women.  There’s a certain knowing that goes womb-deep that women hold for each other, unspoken, palpable, and in a silent language “bone”.  It’s something we just know in our bones, as ancient as our ancestral line.  Just as men have a language, women have a sisterhood that we need around us to survive well and to take the dives into the mystery that only women sense.  It’s wrapped up in shadows and pleasure, passionate creativity, loss and grieving, and seduction mixed with rolling laughter.  For us to find our center, we truly do need the love and support of other women.

The experts have the right idea you know, that there’s something we need to steer ourselves towards our joyful fulfillment in this life, but it’s not a perfectly balanced pie.  It’s more of a sacred agreement to honor our core knowing, and to do it much as we have been taught by our bodies, in messy, loud colors and soft hues of rising and reposing cycles.  We are to honor, cherish, and nurture pleasure in utter defiance of a culture that repudiates it.  I’m convinced that balance takes care of itself when we are true to ourselves, and that pies are for sharing, the more the better.  We can go ahead and use the graph to lay out a plan, but if we make the graph more important than our sense of bone knowing when the body says no, we risk coming from a flat line and missing out on the sheer pleasure of being alive.  A woman knows, but a place where she can be heard tiptoeing towards her core with tears and fire is the sacred, cyclical, ever-changing map towards her true desires and her passion.  Let this be the new “balance”.

Sticky Sweet Surrender To The Goddess

June 3, 2013

Oceanna Soul Signature_ (1)

Everyone was asking me how it went.  They followed my Facebook journey of a vision I’ve had for years that came to me and stuck like honey, sticky and annoying, but oh so sweet and good.  At first I wanted nothing to do with it because it terrified me.  Imagine seeing something so amazing and then finding out that this awesome undertaking is yours?  Terror.   I spent about two years running away from it, avoiding it, denying it.

This vision haunted me, and when I mentioned it to a few friends, they continued to ask me about how it was coming along.  The questions were a blessing and a heavy burden as I wrestled with my longing and fought with perfectionism, divine timing, and a maddening drip of information.  You see, I had snapshots of this vision but no idea of the details, the how, the when, the mechanics.

Pieces began to show up, and I realized slowly that I had to be in a state of complete surrender for this awesome vision to move through me.  I had to be willing to be inside of not knowing, and still put one foot in front of the other.  I have never, in my years of facilitating, leading, and creating, had to surrender this far.  I had to surrender everything.

Realizing this ridiculously vulnerable level of surrender explained my initial terror and the ensuing chaos leading up to the first official event.  We think things happen to us, but truly there is a direct correlation between our resistance and the details of our lives, and how they reflect our inner world perfectly.  Fully aware of this, I chose a date, secured it with a yoga studio, and off we went.  The dramatic stories about not having a space, not knowing who was attending (if anyone), being offered a space out of nowhere, having people I had never even met show up, personal life crises leading up to the date of the event, all of these things were clearly testing my commitment and forcing me to trust.

Imagine meeting someone for the first time who tells you that they heard your name when they were swimming in the ocean two years earlier and so they followed that guidance and did a Google search, which led them to this event face to face that you’ve spent years knowing was yours to manifest?  The Divine was winking hard when I sat in the first sacred circle of this vision and this dear woman told me how she had found me.   This is the type of mad miracle I live with, and similar stories of spontaneous healings, synchronicity, and last-minute saving graces over the years since I dedicated my life to Her work.  I can only surmise that the level to which I am willing to surrender to Grace is in direct proportion to these occurrences of outrageous and magical “coincidence”.

The event was far from what my vision depicts, and yet deep in my belly I have absolutely no doubt that this is the beginning of that creation.  I have had very clear instructions showing up now in the form of signs.  People have expressed a sudden knowing that they are supposed to do this with me.  What I need and desire for support has shown up precisely when I need it.  I feel a fire in my yoni with this vision’s name on it.

How did the first gathering go?  In a few words, it went great and everyone loved it.  They want more.  I want more.  I have been seduced fully by the Divine and cannot resist the allure, the pull, the sweetness of the fulfillment of this vision.  The Goddess Temple is here to stay, and I have fully surrendered.  The orgasmic wave has only just begun to tremble and I will be riding this wave for a long, long, long time.

~Goddess Oceana

http://www.GoddessOceana.com

http://www.facebook.com/GoddessOceana

~image taken by Erica Tripp Photography and enhanced by Lucinda Kinch

Work Out Your Love Muscle

May 20, 2013

kissing-self-in-the-mirror

Friendly reminder here.  There are times when we wonder if anyone really loves us.  Ever feel that way?  We want to believe it, and yet there can be this little voice inside that tells us they really don’t.  It tells us that everyone out there has their own best interest in mind, that they’re only being nice, but when push comes to shove they’re just giving us lip service.

I’m here to tell you that getting a handle on that voice is totally an inside job.  There is absolutely nothing you can do to shut it up permanently, but you can certainly turn down the volume and add a new character.  The Self Love Queen, yes, that’s what I’m talkin’ about.

You see, if you begin practicing self-love, you start to notice it everywhere.  People respond to you differently.  Nice things happen.  You get bonus gifts from the universe and happy surprises. Dogs and babies flirt with you, and your popularity gets a major boost.

Think about it.  Why the hell would you like someone who doesn’t even like themselves?  Tough to do, right?!  Sure, you can like them a bit, pity them some, and even get your inner martyr stoked on saving them from their own self loathing, but do you really want to hang out with them much?  It’s depressing because no matter how much love you send their way, they cannot and will not soak it up.  A person who doesn’t love themselves can’t receive more love than they have their inner barometer set for.  It’s similar to water.  It seeks it’s own level.

That said, the most efficient way to love and be loved is to work out your self love muscles.  Practice doing nice things for yourself.  Force yourself to look in the mirror and deliver a genuine compliment.  If you can’t find anything right, then make it up until you can muster some belief about it.  Take some extra time caring for that precious body of yours and start feeding it some fresh, delicious food.  Drink more water.  Take a walk somewhere beautiful.

Give yourself a foot massage with some divinely scented lotion, and finally take a break and read that book you always wanted to read.  When someone gives you a compliment, just say thank you.  Mean it. Locate the place in your life where you feel short-changed and set about giving yourself more.  Whether it’s more friendship, more free time, more laughter, more sex, more gifts, more appreciation…find a way to have more until you feel filled up.  Then do it again.

The only way to receive more is to be a larger container for what you want to receive.  Start flexing those love muscles, my friend, and see what happens.  I’d love to hear about your experiences with this and how you opened your life to more love.

~Goddess Oceana

http://www.goddessoceana.com

Goddess Oceana is a certified Tantric Yoga Teacher, Shaman, and Women’s Empowerment Coach. If you’re a woman who wants to embrace your inner power to attract and create more money, and become a magnet to more positive relationships, go here for the free series, The Seven Goddess Secrets Every Modern Woman Must Know To Live In Passionate Pleasure now.


%d bloggers like this: