Archive for the ‘yoga’ Category

All Those Lonely Men

December 15, 2017

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“This is for all the lonely people.”
I saw an elderly woman in a waiting room the other day. She was having a great time chatting everyone up. At first, people were giving her the side-eye, wondering if she was normal or a bit crazy, talking to all those strangers as if she were there friend.
Soon, though, one person began to warm up to her and responded, and they started talking. Others looked curious.
After a while, everyone was smiling and relaxing more in their chairs.
The scenario struck me as familiar in how I tend to move through the world, fortunate to have been raised by a mother who treated everyone as if they were her children. She was outgoing and friendly, and really didn’t think anything of talking to people around her. With that role model ( and often included in the conversations as a child) I find that I am the same way.


During this holiday season, it saddens me to think of so many who have no one to celebrate with, or who are experiencing such deep loss or suffering that the celebrations around them only seem to compound the loneliness.


I heard yesterday from Dr. Christiane Northrup who was doing a video, that men are 4% more likely to commit suicide, and 50% of men do not have a single close friend to talk to (from the Mask of Masculinity by Louis Howes).

It was quite shocking to me, that number.  I began to think about how much easier it seems for many women to create community around themselves, with that gatherer mentality. So I’m wanting to encourage men to reach out if they’re feeling isolated.
I have the honor of men writing to me, in my line of work, who are sincerely expressing their feelings and transparently tell me of their struggles. I feel especially humbled that they courageously risk and reach out, in a culture that does not encourage emotional transparency in males.
I opened my work to men recently, because although women’s empowerment has been my focus, I now realize that my original purpose of healing the feminine does not preclude men, but includes the feminine in all of us.
This morning, I’m thinking about how all of us, men and women, can stretch a little further into reaching out with caring and sensitivity to others during the holidays.
After all, we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Would love to hear from you in the comments.  What are some ways that you reach out or don’t reach out, and

~ Goddess Oceana

www.GoddessOceana.com

https://www.facebook.com/GoddessOceana/

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Tips for Holiday Survival

December 13, 2017

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Tis the season for making merry, decorating, standing in lines, ordering online gifts, seeing concerts and attending parties, and dreading the sadness, loneliness, and family madness.  So much emotional stuff is mixed up into our celebrations in life.

The question here is not how do we survive it, but how do we thrive and feel more alive in it?

You might think it’s cute that I suggest you can go beyond the monumental feat of surviving a family dinner during the holidays.  I’m suggesting it because we can only “achieve that which you can conceive and believe”, compliments of Napoleon Hill.  And that old cliche, if you shoot for the stars you might reach the moon.

So, let’s say you’re only up for surviving the holidays and all of the sadness that comes with them because you miss the loved ones who’ve passed, or you’re dreading being alone and isolated, without any family.  Maybe you’ve had your hopes and expectations devastated a few times too many and just want to hide from the holidays altogether.  I understand and empathize.  It can be pretty miserable when you’re feeling low and seemingly everyone around you is lighting candles and singing carols.

While I can’t get you from miserable to ecstatic in a blog post, I can give you a few tips that might make it all bearable.  From there you’ll have to be willing to imagine and believe in something better, an idea about the holidays that is different from the one you’ve been holding.

Tips for Going Beyond Holiday Survival:

  1.  Get out of yourself and see who needs something.  This is a simple one, but it’s tried and true.  It was my mother’s mantra whenever she would encounter me feeling sorry for myself.  Go and help someone, she’d say, and you’ll feel better.
  2. Let yourself have a pity party on a timer.  This one can sound strange if you’ve never heard anything like it before.  The truth is that when we try *not* to feel our feelings, they feel worse and keep us stuck in magnified versions.  So decide you’re going to give yourself a certain reasonable amount of time to feel those rough feelings on purpose and let them out.  Do it on purpose.  The caveat here is that you’ll want to make sure you’re in a private space, that you don’t lay your feelings on anyone else, and that you keep yourself safe.  When that timer goes off, have a plan for something you’re going to do that’s productive and get moving.  The pressure cooker of emotional release will renew your energy, and it’s good to have a place to focus it that’s a positive, uplifting one.
  3. Reach out to friends, or put yourself out there and make a friend.  It’s hard to reach out when you feel depressed or upset, but it’s healthier than isolating for days on end.  Create or get a little gift for your friend, or do something nice for them.  Even if it’s only to have a cup of tea together, it’s important to get yourself around some people.
  4. Practice non-reactivity.  See how long you can go without being in reactivity to the things that usually trigger you.  One of the ways you can achieve this is to begin a mindfulness practice.  No time like the present to start a new habit, right?!  You can look up some simple ways to practice mindfulness online, and you can also start right now by following your breath.  Focus on the breath as you breathe in, and then focus on the breath as you breathe out.  This is the most powerful way to get yourself back to your center, and to stop reacting.  It quiets the stories in the mind, which are where all of our reactions start and then escalate if we let them.
  5. Do one act of self care a day, minimum.  I used to balk at this advice to practice self care, because it just seemed too simple and I didn’t believe it could touch the kind of extreme emotional pain I felt at times.  When I finally stopped arguing with the idea and just put it into action, I was blown away by how powerful it is.  Doing things to care for yourself are so healing.  It’s really a way of feeling love towards yourself, and boosting your self esteem and energy.  Just do it.

These tips work whether it’s a holiday or not, but I think so much of the advice I see out there for holiday stress centers around how to shorten your to do list or shop smarter, etc.  The things that make the biggest difference, I have found, are the ones that shift our internal awareness and take the energy out of our mental preoccupation and into our heart and soul.

I wish you the very best life of your most treasured imaginings.

Happy Holidays,

Goddess Oceana

 

Stuck in a Rut of Depression

December 8, 2017

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Someone recently said to me that she wanted to “transcend the mundane” and felt she was stuck in a rut of old, unhealthy patterns and dysfunction.  I thought about times when I was stuck and how it used to play out for me, and how it plays out now that I have almost forty years of deep personal work under my belt.

There’s a very clear difference.  Thirty-eight years ago, I knew I was at cause, but didn’t have the tools or skills necessary to understand the nuances of how to pull myself out, other than affirmations and an image board, journaling, and self-blame.  Way back then, I wasn’t as clear about how to distinguish being at cause about my entire reality versus being to blame for my entire reality.

So blaming myself when I couldn’t figure out how to make things better was my recourse, and it would spiral into the most excruciating depression, hopelessness, and longing to just make the pain stop…even fantasizing about and then attempting suicide.

Somehow my will to keep learning and persevering on the path of various transformational modalities began to pay off, and I got better at finding strategies to get myself aligned again.  The greatest learning about depression for me was to own my anger, my rage, my upset, and master how to express my boundaries in a safe and grounded way.  Once I began to express my anger by making requests of others that honored my newly discovered boundaries, I stopped turning my anger towards myself.

This took time, practice, and mistakes.  I failed a lot, and then learned from the failures.  I made a little progress each time.  Life began to improve, and as I stopped making other people’s wants far more important than my needs, I became a happier person. That’s one small  example of how I overcame a debilitating rut.

The various skills I’ve learned over the years I’ve tested repeatedly, and I continue to acquire more.  Mostly, I’ve come to realize that I love to learn, and so I honor that by diving into learning whatever it is I find fascinating.  It just so happens that all of it is in the realm of spirituality, transformation, psychology, relationship, sexuality, and esoteric studies.

The ruts I see my clients stuck in most often are the ruts of people-pleasing, not keeping their word (a basic tenet for becoming more powerful is to keep your word), a habit of putting other people first and getting lost in overwhelm, and or finding an old pattern of behavior they’re stuck in and not getting the energy healing necessary to break free from it.  These are all ways in which we sabotage ourselves, especially as women.

The good news is that self-love is the super vitamin that can make all healing possible, and it improves our lives dramatically.  And so I start there, with daily practices that infuse self-love and self-worth that begin to lift a person immediately from whatever rut they’re in.  Then we get into some nitty gritty pattern shifts and healing work.

Whatever rut you’re in, begin with self-love.  You can start by telling yourself that you love you very much, each and every day.  It can be that simple.  Let that love into your heart and feel it wrap around you like a soft, warm blanket.  Do it often and out loud.

Here’s to Loving You,

Goddess Oceana

Message me to schedule a fifteen minute call to find out how to work with me to live a happier, more fulfilling life.  I help women connect deeply to their inner spiritual guidance and become the sensual, powerful goddess they were meant to be while co-creating their deepest desires with the universe.

Email me:  Oceana@GoddessOceana.com

 

 

Pleasured

February 18, 2016

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Do you make time for pleasure in your life?

Recently I ran a short, five day challenge for women to immerse themselves in various kinds of pleasure.  It’s strange to think that simply generating some pleasurable activities in one’s life could be such a big undertaking, wrought with resistance and avoidance.

Five straight days is more than most people can muster up a daily act of pleasure. To my surprise, about fifteen women out of almost a hundred really went for it and reported their exuberant findings as well as their struggles with it.  I didn’t expect so many heartfelt, transparent, gorgeous descriptions of what they were facing, and was so impressed.

I’ve been practicing pleasure, studying about pleasure, and teaching pleasure in various forms over the years, and what I’ve come to learn is that our culture simply does not value it.  This fact alone can stop some women cold.  Some of the struggles in the pleasure challenge were feeling guilty, too busy serving others, and difficulty finding time alone to do something pleasurable in their hectic days.

A very few participants were already practicing infusing pleasure into their lives as a way to heal and nurture themselves. Women were sharing all of the ways they found pleasure in life, ways they created more, and desires for even more.  It was such a gorgeous thing to see women sharing and learning something so simple, yet so powerful.

There were deep realizations about how focusing on pleasure brought so much awareness of even more pleasure they’d never noticed.  Vibrancy, deserving, worth, and even profound joy unfolded.  New ideas, enthusiasm and even recipes for pleasure were shared.

I have no intention of closing this amazing group.  With women joining daily, asking me what it is and how they can participate,  we’ll continue to focus on pleasure.  We’ll encourage each other to keep up the important work of enjoying life, honoring our bodies, reveling in our femininity, and opening to receiving more abundance. I’m convinced that the gateway of gratitude is primed by pleasure.

~Goddess Oceana

How can you join the Goddess Pleasure Challenge group?  Follow this LINK and ask to join.

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

 

 

Are You Too Much, Not Enough, Or Just Plain Confused?

June 30, 2015

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Do you shrink yourself to be more pleasing?

Do you go blank when someone asks you what you want, or make something up in hopes it will turn out well?

Are you confused about why men don’t seem attracted to you, or do you miss the signals?

You’re not alone, sister.  So many of us are stymied by the crazy mixed messages we are bombarded with from the media, and even more importantly, by the way we’ve been trained to be silent, appeasing, and people pleasing.  It becomes a habit based in fear and self-preservation.

You don’t need this habit, but wow does it take hold when it’s reinforced by attitudes in the culture, commercials, and good old-fashioned female oppression.

The truth is that you are never too much, you’re always enough, and you know way more than you give yourself credit for, you goddess!  But how are you supposed to tap into this type of confidence, courage and savvy?

This is my specialty, and I have been through it for decades until I figured it out.  I was the ultimate people pleaser, good girl, quiet and polite lady who spent a whole lot of time battling depression, failed relationships, a failed marriage, and even abuse and rape.

My journey to wholeness began  very slowly, years before I realized I had a problem.  I was training in Law of Attraction and spiritual mysticism early on in my teens, and started my passion for attending transformational workshops in my twenties.  But it wasn’t enough to wipe out the low self-worth I was battling.  Brilliant teachings and trainings were wonderful, and I benefitted immensely, but they didn’t change the deepest core of my particular emotional and mental wounding.

The process of healing took me three decades and was a relentless search on my part, healing layer after layer after layer.  I went through what I would call a spiritual death in my early forties, and the journey back from that was through my ongoing intensive training in the Divine Feminine mysteries, wisewoman teachings, shamanic trainings, and decades of practicing tantric yoga.

I believe there is a reason for everything we experience, and that the soul is imbued with a Divine Plan in collaboration with our inherent desires for ecstasy.

What I offer you now as an elder is the full scope of all that I’ve learned and practiced over my lifetime.  One method doesn’t work for everyone, as you are a unique and wondrous creature with a path as intricate and distinct as a snowflake.  Every individual has their own story to be lived and liberated into an enlightened legend, and for most of us, the support and guidance of a wise teacher with many experiences and an array of skills is necessary.

My passion is to dive deep with women and peer into their souls, support them to fulfill their Divine Destiny with joy, love, and sensuality as their inherent birthright.

Blissings & Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Goddess Oceana is a certified Tantric Yoga Teacher, Shaman, and Women’s Empowerment Coach. If you’re a woman who wants to embrace your inner power to attract and create more money, and become a magnet to more positive relationships, go here for the free series, The Seven Goddess Secrets Every Modern Woman Must Know To Live In Passionate Pleasure now.

 

How To Get Unstuck

April 20, 2015

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Rather than spend time trying to figure out with your mind what’s holding you back from having the relationship of your dreams, having enough money and some to spare, feeling worthy of having the kind of intimacy your deserve as a woman, rocking your magnetic sensuality, or committing to something that’s important to you, the following process gets you into your body about it and moves the stuck energy patterns that are the root cause of your pain.

This is a process that is so simple but totally effective in moving through something that’s causing you to be stuck and unable to get what you want. I do this with clients often, and they experience immediate relief in one to three practice sessions.

Ready? Let’s do it!

1. Sit in a comfortable position with your feet on the floor or cross-legged, back straight, where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.
2. Close your eyes and slow your breathing to a steady stream of breath in and out through your nose.
3. Scan your body internally from head to toe, and notice any area that draws your attention most.
4. Focus in on that spot and notice if that place has a color, shape, or energy to it.
5. Stay present with what shows up, and simply be in a state of awareness, witnessing, and patient love.
6. Witnessing, notice and be with it. Don’t assume anything will happen or not happen, and do your best to just be a loving presence for it.
7. Do this for a few minutes, and if anything about the shape, color, etc, changes, just notice and stay present to that as well.
8. Continue with this until you either need to get up and move on with your day, or until it lifts or morphs.
9. Practice this exercise as many times as you like and notice what happens.

There it is, plain and simple, yet incredibly powerful. By allowing what is to simply be, with conscious awareness, miracles happen.

About me:

I help women who want more passion in their lives harness the power of the Divine Feminine to be more sensual, magnetic, and confident.

Where to find me:
http://www.goddessoceana.com
http://www.facebook.com/GoddessOceana
http://www.Twitter.com/GoddessOceana

How Do You Handle A Bully?

December 31, 2014

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I wonder about the history of bullying. I imagine that in prehistoric days, being a bully was the way to be the boss in the cave. Totally up for info on that, but it seems possible.
Then came the days of the quick fix, when we had communities and villages, and the bully was finally pummeled by someone, thereby putting an end to the bullying, at least from that person.
Then came conscious communication, and the turnaround transition where the bullies were loved by those who could see the suffering underneath, and recognize their own internal bully, and quite possibly heal the dynamic of bullying altogether.
My dear friend, Judy Giovangelo has devoted her life to healing bullies, inside and out with her magnificent organization Ben Speaks, and so she keeps me awake and aware about this bullying topic.

There is, however, another fascinating slant on bullying that is more esoteric and takes an enormous dose of patience, and that I’ve practiced my whole life. It’s totally an inside job, while watching karmic patterns play out.

I’ve experienced and witnessed treatment from some people that shocked me and felt awful, but with prayer, meditation, and learning to love myself more, I’ve been silent, like an owl. Watching over years sometimes, just seeing the internal suffering of the bully, sending love, and also doing what I needed to do to take care of myself, I haven’t been one to take an activist stance and fight back, unless my family or myself were in danger. I’ve chosen, out of simply feeling what my intuitive knowing was telling me, to be the owl high in the tree, watching the unravelling of events in the bully’s life, and at times sincerely felt sad for them when the universe dished back the same energy multiplied.  Personally, I think this higher view allows for those intricate dynamics that we don’t know about to play out more perfectly in alignment with everyone’s highest good.  I’m less inclined to want to interfere with the genius of the universe.

More recently, I’m becoming acutely aware of this as the vibration in the universe picks up speed, and the wait is much, much shorter. I see it for myself as well as others. The benefit of being awake in this world is that when we screw up, we know how it works, and we can make amends as well as do other spiritual practices to smooth out the repercussions and heal the wrong before we get the slapback and it’s much softer. It’s softer because we have owned our actions and taken action. It’s softer because we were accountable to the energy dynamic that connects all of us as one.

There are still many of us who haven’t quite caught up, though. We can see it in the headlines. If you were to read the headlines as if they were the message from your Higher Self about how you’re doing today, how would your life be different? I think that those of us who know our internal landscape and are clear about our oneness on this beautiful earth are able to see the places inside of ourselves where we are still at war, and do the healing work necessary.

If each and every one of us were taking exquisite care of ourselves internally, perhaps the headlines would reflect that ramp up of love in the world. Before you begin to argue this point with a litany of reasons why it’s unreasonable and with proof that it’s a false idea, consider the possibility of love as a healing agent more powerful than any energy in this universe.

We’ve come a long way from the cave, baby, and it’s time to wake up. Gently, softly, I am whispering an “I love you” wakeup call.


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