Posts Tagged ‘advice’

Knitting As An Act of Passion

January 18, 2019

Recently I started to knit with a wild and fierce determination.

It could have been my passionate love for colors and my deep need for sensual touch that pointed me in the direction of soft, delicious yarns I could spend hours running over and around my skin.

It could have been the state of the world and a feeling that overcame me of needing to do something tangible that would lift spirits for more than a few minutes.

Maybe it was the budget my husband and I set for the holidays, and a deep desire to create meaningful gifts that didn’t cost a fortune, and demonstrated my love for people rather than the quick and easy obligatory shopping trip.

Perhaps it was the fact that I was detoxing from sugar, and keeping my hands busy with yarn while my mind was focused on prayer, distracting me from my usual trips to the cupboard for cookies.

And then there was the fact that my beloved little goddess doggie passed away after months of hospice, and I found it so powerfully comforting to receive a tiny crocheted bit of a prayer shawl from the Temple of Witchcraft ministry that I wanted to spread this love to others.

Maybe two decades of childrearing and keeping a house were coming to a close and I wanted somewhere to channel the grief of letting go while still feeling relevant and useful in the world.

It’s not that I was new to knitting or crocheting, sewing, or anything creative with my hands.  It was that I found myself determined to carve out a place for this in my life.  I wanted to complete projects rather than moving the basket around my house for fifteen years or so, thinking that someday I’d have time to finish that thing.

There is something so primal about knitting in a world where a machine made item can be spat out in minutes.  Primal, spiritual, and tangible.  And that translates to passion for me, because it combines the three ways in which we can align our energies in this world to truly rock our soul potential.

Whatever we doing in this world, the fires of passion will fuel our focused intention.  Seemingly small acts that are consistent will move mountains.

This passionate knitting habit looks so inconspicuous, but let me assure you, it’s a disguised sensual fire of world healing, from the inside out.

~Goddess Oceana is a Women’s Sensual Empowerment Expert, Shamanic Healer, and Goddess Oracle as well as an author and spiritual life coach.

You can find her knitting circle once a month in her healing office at Equinox Healing Arts, 85 Main St., Suite 303, Hopkinton, Ma., or leading a sacred ritual at the Goddess Circle.

 

All Those Lonely Men

December 15, 2017

lonely man

 

“This is for all the lonely people.”
I saw an elderly woman in a waiting room the other day. She was having a great time chatting everyone up. At first, people were giving her the side-eye, wondering if she was normal or a bit crazy, talking to all those strangers as if she were there friend.
Soon, though, one person began to warm up to her and responded, and they started talking. Others looked curious.
After a while, everyone was smiling and relaxing more in their chairs.
The scenario struck me as familiar in how I tend to move through the world, fortunate to have been raised by a mother who treated everyone as if they were her children. She was outgoing and friendly, and really didn’t think anything of talking to people around her. With that role model ( and often included in the conversations as a child) I find that I am the same way.


During this holiday season, it saddens me to think of so many who have no one to celebrate with, or who are experiencing such deep loss or suffering that the celebrations around them only seem to compound the loneliness.


I heard yesterday from Dr. Christiane Northrup who was doing a video, that men are 4% more likely to commit suicide, and 50% of men do not have a single close friend to talk to (from the Mask of Masculinity by Louis Howes).

It was quite shocking to me, that number.  I began to think about how much easier it seems for many women to create community around themselves, with that gatherer mentality. So I’m wanting to encourage men to reach out if they’re feeling isolated.
I have the honor of men writing to me, in my line of work, who are sincerely expressing their feelings and transparently tell me of their struggles. I feel especially humbled that they courageously risk and reach out, in a culture that does not encourage emotional transparency in males.
I opened my work to men recently, because although women’s empowerment has been my focus, I now realize that my original purpose of healing the feminine does not preclude men, but includes the feminine in all of us.
This morning, I’m thinking about how all of us, men and women, can stretch a little further into reaching out with caring and sensitivity to others during the holidays.
After all, we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Would love to hear from you in the comments.  What are some ways that you reach out or don’t reach out, and

~ Goddess Oceana

www.GoddessOceana.com

https://www.facebook.com/GoddessOceana/

Stuck in a Rut of Depression

December 8, 2017

rut

Someone recently said to me that she wanted to “transcend the mundane” and felt she was stuck in a rut of old, unhealthy patterns and dysfunction.  I thought about times when I was stuck and how it used to play out for me, and how it plays out now that I have almost forty years of deep personal work under my belt.

There’s a very clear difference.  Thirty-eight years ago, I knew I was at cause, but didn’t have the tools or skills necessary to understand the nuances of how to pull myself out, other than affirmations and an image board, journaling, and self-blame.  Way back then, I wasn’t as clear about how to distinguish being at cause about my entire reality versus being to blame for my entire reality.

So blaming myself when I couldn’t figure out how to make things better was my recourse, and it would spiral into the most excruciating depression, hopelessness, and longing to just make the pain stop…even fantasizing about and then attempting suicide.

Somehow my will to keep learning and persevering on the path of various transformational modalities began to pay off, and I got better at finding strategies to get myself aligned again.  The greatest learning about depression for me was to own my anger, my rage, my upset, and master how to express my boundaries in a safe and grounded way.  Once I began to express my anger by making requests of others that honored my newly discovered boundaries, I stopped turning my anger towards myself.

This took time, practice, and mistakes.  I failed a lot, and then learned from the failures.  I made a little progress each time.  Life began to improve, and as I stopped making other people’s wants far more important than my needs, I became a happier person. That’s one small  example of how I overcame a debilitating rut.

The various skills I’ve learned over the years I’ve tested repeatedly, and I continue to acquire more.  Mostly, I’ve come to realize that I love to learn, and so I honor that by diving into learning whatever it is I find fascinating.  It just so happens that all of it is in the realm of spirituality, transformation, psychology, relationship, sexuality, and esoteric studies.

The ruts I see my clients stuck in most often are the ruts of people-pleasing, not keeping their word (a basic tenet for becoming more powerful is to keep your word), a habit of putting other people first and getting lost in overwhelm, and or finding an old pattern of behavior they’re stuck in and not getting the energy healing necessary to break free from it.  These are all ways in which we sabotage ourselves, especially as women.

The good news is that self-love is the super vitamin that can make all healing possible, and it improves our lives dramatically.  And so I start there, with daily practices that infuse self-love and self-worth that begin to lift a person immediately from whatever rut they’re in.  Then we get into some nitty gritty pattern shifts and healing work.

Whatever rut you’re in, begin with self-love.  You can start by telling yourself that you love you very much, each and every day.  It can be that simple.  Let that love into your heart and feel it wrap around you like a soft, warm blanket.  Do it often and out loud.

Here’s to Loving You,

Goddess Oceana

Message me to schedule a fifteen minute call to find out how to work with me to live a happier, more fulfilling life.  I help women connect deeply to their inner spiritual guidance and become the sensual, powerful goddess they were meant to be while co-creating their deepest desires with the universe.

Email me:  Oceana@GoddessOceana.com

 

 

A Pleasure Practice Tidbit That’s Not Frivolous

August 14, 2017
decadent pleasure137812198
Do you have any idea how important pleasure is?
I feel like a broken record sometimes, repeating myself about pleasure and how women absolutely must receive it on a daily basis.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame anyone for not understanding this concept immediately.  Our whole culture teaches us that pleasure is a frivolous pastime, and that only hard workers get theirs.
And guess who made this falsity up?  You got it, the patriarchy.  I’m not going to get all political on you, but I am going to be completely honest with you.  The masculine way is to power through things, but sweetest goddess, we are not men!
We’re women, divine and radiant, soft and curvy, emotive and passionate and vibrating with the power of Shakti, the Feminine Principle of God, Who absolutely demands pleasure in order for us to create.
Have I got your attention?  Oh good, because I’m on a mission here to wake you up, show you some new things, and hopefully to deposit you smack into the epicenter of your sacred power.
Today, have I ever got a new practice tool for you!
If you’re up for it, take some pleasure into every single day of your life.  It doesn’t matter where you start, either with a favorite food or a full out orgasm, and anything in between, but just please do it.
Take the time to savor receiving that pleasure deeply into your whole body, your psyche, your aura.  Let it engulf you, infuse you, introduce you to what you’re missing and what you need like you need air.
I hope to hear back from you that you’ve discovered something, and that you’re taking on these introductory tips I’m sending out regularly.
I’m having a blast ramping up to open registration for the upcoming brand new course I’ve created, Divine Feminine Sensual Power Online Course.
Registration opens soon!  To make sure you’re on the list to receive first notice, please  subscribe to my newsletter at www.goddessoceana.com.
Written With the Utmost Pleasure  ~Goddess Oceana

Motherly Advice: A New Child-Rearing Manual

June 19, 2012

I’ve heard it and I’m over it.  I’ve heard every old belief, every story, and every ‘rule’ about child rearing possible and most of them don’t apply to my child.  Is it possible that they don’t apply to anyone other than the ego of the person that is touting the advice?  It may be.

When I had my son I was open to all manner of advice, and unfortunately I tried it all, but to no avail whatsoever.  You see, my son was unique in that he was born as himself, infinitely individual, unlike any other model ever made and only similar in that he was one of a species called human.  No two are the same.  Let’s start there, shall we?  A rational, totally left brained approach would have us believe that if it works for one, it works for all.

What are the things they tell you to do with babies?  Put them in a crib to sleep, they say, and swaddle them, let them scream it out.  You should take them for a ride in a car to get them to nap, but don’t ever let them sleep in your bed because they will never, ever fall asleep again by themselves for the rest of their natural lives.  Yes, someone said that to me.  There are plenty more where those came from, but I don’t feel like digging into that slime pit at the moment.

Our child would only sleep with me or my husband, screamed louder if we swaddled him, screamed as if on fire at the sight of a car, and made our ears bleed with the decibels inside a car from the sheer terror of the movement.  I have a memory regretfully branded into my brain of when I tried putting him in a crib.  He screamed at naptime daily until he vomited and shit himself for three days straight, and then was wary of me, his own mother, for two weeks afterwards.  (I was following the directions in the book which told me not to rescue him under any circumstances, while I sobbed silently outside the door, curled up in a ball on the floor.)  Both of us sweating and shaking, I finally came to my senses and realized cribs were not for us.

You see, he was too smart for Dr. Ferber who invented “ferberizing”, but I didn’t know this yet.  I allowed Dr. Ferber to alienate me from my own infant.  I just read last week that the other famous doctor whose advice I tried to follow like a good mommy, Dr. Sears, left a tidbit of crucially important information out of his books and has recently added the information.  Thank you, Dr. Sears, we are still suffering the repercussions of your neglect, 12 years later.

Do I carry a little bit of self righteousness about this topic?  You bet I do.  I feel that I have run alongside the best of them, and any one of us who’s had a child who doesn’t fit into the regular mold (as if there is one) and has been patronized, ridiculed, judged, advised, and bullied until she builds an armor like that of a Roman soldier,  I have earned stripes so deep that I’m loathe to explain anything to anyone anymore.

One thing I will tell you is that I have some wisdom to share.  My wisdom doesn’t include telling you what to do with your baby, or how to be a good mother.  My wisdom doesn’t give you some pat answer that’s going to fix everything.  My wisdom is about trusting your own wisdom, because every single mother is a unique being and every child is a new creation.  There’s never been one like her and never will be again.  You do get a manual, but you have to listen in the quiet for the information.  You have to listen to your heart and your gut, and you have to be able to withstand the onslaught of everyone else’s opinions and then not waver in your truth.

If I’ve come away with anything from the gift of motherhood, it’s the realization that I have to trust myself above all others, and that I have my beautiful, bright, highly intelligent, uniquely perfect son to thank for it, not Dr. Know It All.


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