Posts Tagged ‘empower’

Remembering How To Say Yes To Ourselves

June 22, 2012

My hopes and dreams, desires and visions are stunted when they seem in conflict with each other and I allow fear to rule inside of that division.  I’m watching myself want many things in life, and yet I continue to choose what I hear myself saying I don’t want.  What the heck is that about?

The truth is that if it’s in my experience, then I chose it at one time.  I can remind myself of this and continue to say yes to that original commitment.  It’s okay to assess if it’s still the best agreement for me or whether I need to change it.  However, the fact remains that a commitment is worth keeping if we desire to enjoy a life where our words hold power and mean something.

When I slow down and look closely, it boils down to choosing daily what’s most important to me.  Travelling to wonderful new places and bringing my workshops there is a dream of mine.  I’ve been invited to several countries to do this and the timing hasn’t worked yet.  Sometimes I forget that I’m not saying no forever, just no for now.  There will be a time when I say yes and take off on a plane to a wonderful place with beautiful people who are just ripe for the transformation that I channel.  I have to remind myself of this, however, when my mind gets impatient and I feel constricted in my work, chomping at the bit to get moving.

At those times I also remind myself that my son won’t be young forever, and that this is the moment, right now, when I get to bask in the joys of motherhood…the quieter days, the crazy fun conversations with him, the sparkle in his eyes, and the joy of having him near.  This will eventually change,  and he’ll be off having his own adventures.  If I spend all of my precious time with him wishing my career were liberated and running strong, or frustrated that I’m not doing something else, I’ll miss the whole of now.

It’s a choice.  Noone is forcing me to work from home or to homeschool him.  My fear gets in my face sometimes and I find myself worrying that when I’m finally ready, maybe they won’t want me anymore.  Maybe they’ll have forgotten or I’ll be too old.  All sorts of nightmarish fears come up, and I can choose to indulge them or I can get back to the moment at hand.  This usually requires trust in a Power greater than myself, a Love that would never align things in such a way as to make me purposefully unhappy.

My greatest source of peace is leaning into the Divine.  Somehow, resting in my Higher Power synchronizes everything in my life like a Swiss watch.  Miracles happen, happy surprises appear out of nowhere, gifts arrive at the last hour and are perfectly exacting to my needs and my joyful whims.

The great illusion is that something is stopping us, getting in the way, blocking us.  Choosing what is and basking in present time joy while trusting in divine alignment pops the cork of that illusion, and our good comes rushing in…

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