Posts Tagged ‘feelings’

How Do You Handle A Bully?

December 31, 2014

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I wonder about the history of bullying. I imagine that in prehistoric days, being a bully was the way to be the boss in the cave. Totally up for info on that, but it seems possible.
Then came the days of the quick fix, when we had communities and villages, and the bully was finally pummeled by someone, thereby putting an end to the bullying, at least from that person.
Then came conscious communication, and the turnaround transition where the bullies were loved by those who could see the suffering underneath, and recognize their own internal bully, and quite possibly heal the dynamic of bullying altogether.
My dear friend, Judy Giovangelo has devoted her life to healing bullies, inside and out with her magnificent organization Ben Speaks, and so she keeps me awake and aware about this bullying topic.

There is, however, another fascinating slant on bullying that is more esoteric and takes an enormous dose of patience, and that I’ve practiced my whole life. It’s totally an inside job, while watching karmic patterns play out.

I’ve experienced and witnessed treatment from some people that shocked me and felt awful, but with prayer, meditation, and learning to love myself more, I’ve been silent, like an owl. Watching over years sometimes, just seeing the internal suffering of the bully, sending love, and also doing what I needed to do to take care of myself, I haven’t been one to take an activist stance and fight back, unless my family or myself were in danger. I’ve chosen, out of simply feeling what my intuitive knowing was telling me, to be the owl high in the tree, watching the unravelling of events in the bully’s life, and at times sincerely felt sad for them when the universe dished back the same energy multiplied.  Personally, I think this higher view allows for those intricate dynamics that we don’t know about to play out more perfectly in alignment with everyone’s highest good.  I’m less inclined to want to interfere with the genius of the universe.

More recently, I’m becoming acutely aware of this as the vibration in the universe picks up speed, and the wait is much, much shorter. I see it for myself as well as others. The benefit of being awake in this world is that when we screw up, we know how it works, and we can make amends as well as do other spiritual practices to smooth out the repercussions and heal the wrong before we get the slapback and it’s much softer. It’s softer because we have owned our actions and taken action. It’s softer because we were accountable to the energy dynamic that connects all of us as one.

There are still many of us who haven’t quite caught up, though. We can see it in the headlines. If you were to read the headlines as if they were the message from your Higher Self about how you’re doing today, how would your life be different? I think that those of us who know our internal landscape and are clear about our oneness on this beautiful earth are able to see the places inside of ourselves where we are still at war, and do the healing work necessary.

If each and every one of us were taking exquisite care of ourselves internally, perhaps the headlines would reflect that ramp up of love in the world. Before you begin to argue this point with a litany of reasons why it’s unreasonable and with proof that it’s a false idea, consider the possibility of love as a healing agent more powerful than any energy in this universe.

We’ve come a long way from the cave, baby, and it’s time to wake up. Gently, softly, I am whispering an “I love you” wakeup call.

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I Could Believe I’m Mean and Hurtful

February 26, 2014

I have been told that I am a terrible communicator, that I speak in hurtful ways,  and that I am very blaming.  Every single day I have to be extremely careful in how I come across, and the minute I just relax into being casual, I find that I seem harsh to certain people. 

Some days it feels too hard to have to be so utterly vigilant, to have to work so incredibly hard around sensitive souls.  Since I am one, it’s true that it’s also incredibly hard to be me at times. 

 There are days when I truly don’t know what is true and what is not, whether it’s me or it’s the circumstances around me.  When someone says, it’s ALL you, Oceana…it’s all a reflection of you…I take that quite seriously, literally, and to heart.  And then the learned pattern of self~blaming begins internally. 

 My mind begins thinking I must be such a horrible person to be creating such a world so filled with reflections of suffering, blame, and scarcity. My feelings follow, and because I am so deeply sensitive, my emotions are intense, often causing me fierce suffering.

 Why am I telling you all of this? I have a hunch that I am not alone in this.  It’s a pattern of thinking that causes me great suffering, until I apply the powerful remedy of holding myself with compassion and love.  I begin to see that this thought pattern is actually a byproduct of misinterpreted metaphysical teachings.  I began studying them at a young age, and so I suspect my mindset then took everything literally.  Combine that with a dysfunctional upbringing, and the neural programming is a severe message.

 The most powerful lesson I have learned (the hard way) this past year is that yes, it can be our perceptions (all our perceived creation), but that it’s crucial to discern what type of mirror is being reflected.  Some mirrors are just love.  Others are love disguised as suffering until we learn to set a boundary.  And still others are there to prompt us into action, service, or movement towards our next phase.

 There are so many ways to heal this, and to reset the neural thought patterns.  My path is always about self~discovery and learning new ways to heal myself and then to support deep healing in others.  A few of the tools I have found the most powerful are meditation, tantric yoga (sound, breath, movement), EFT, Spiritual Response Therapy, journaling, conscious dreaming, shamanic healing…

 I’d be interested to hear the ways in which you take in the well~meaning messages from spiritual teachings, and how they translate in your own life. 

Have you suffered from misinterpretations, or from paths that just did not fit your internal guidance? 

In what ways do you still find yourself  stuck in thinking patterns that are old, and feel frustrated that those thoughts keep dragging you back into old ways of being?

 

~Goddess Oceana

http://www.goddessoceana.com

 

 

 

Finding God In An Unlikely Place

June 25, 2012

What’s appropriate to you may not be appropriate to me, and vice versa.  These lines seem to be fuzzy with the boon in social networking and the consequent weaving of friends with family, extended relations, business associates, international reach, and the combining of cultures, groups, subgroups along with so many other factors.

It can be difficult when one person is sincerely finding something humorous, and another is simultaneously reminded of a tragedy, and yet another is just plain grossed out.  The reactions are as varied as snowflakes, and when awareness levels of one’s own shadow territory in psychologically as of yet untraversed terrain, then we see more public arguments than helpful comments.  In one sense, it can be truly enlightening, and at other times it’s outright horrible to witness, leaving one with a bad feeling inside.

Personally, I seem to have the good fortune of having surrounded myself with a plethora of conscious communicators, peacemakers, spiritually aware beings, and overall good natured folks.  On the occasion when I stumble on a blog or a youtube video where people of other segments of our culture are more prone to leave a blatant criticism, a blatantly off color remark, or a very graphic and obscenely crude insult, I’m left temporarily stunned.

I find I don’t expect it.  At all.  Sometimes I think I must live in this bubble of kindness where nothing (that I consider) negative pervades my pink peacefulness.  Yes, of course, I get my feelings hurt and I have anger and upsets like everyone else.  But, I seem to have gathered endless resources and learnings that I can choose in any  moment to take that feeling, dig deeper into it, and learn more about myself.  I seem to have made a choice to take everything personally, as in I am at cause and everything is a reflection of the conscious state I continue to strive for.

That said, even the seemingly crude and abusive things I come across are a reflection of something inside of me.  I own it all.   I feel that if I am willing to own it and dig around in it, see where I can heal it and forgive it, I am moving a tiny bit closer to my home, the place I long for…the center heartspace of what I call God/dess.

Making Time For Pleasure

May 23, 2012

When everything is just too overwhelming and life seems to be racing in a zillion directions, how do you handle it? Do you drink more coffee, try to do more, stay up later, get up earlier, or break down? Do you let stress build and ignore it? Do you just stuff your face with sugar like I do?
It’s a huge challenge to stay focused and prioritized, and to make the time for rest and balance in these times. We have so many mediums of communication all vying for our attention, not to mention careers to work, families to tend to, functions to attend, plans to make, appointments to keep. The list goes on and the stress seems to mount, until we find ourselves either sick or in breakdown somehow.
I see many people who seem to wait until they’re sick for a small break, and then they jump back up before they’re even ready to go back into the ring for more. It’s scary to watch. I can’t help but wonder if they are truly happy, or just afraid to stop. For some, I’m sure that staying in the game full frontal brings them joy, but this isn’t not true for everyone.
The perfect antidote for stress is pleasure. Nothing gives us more of an “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” feeling. It doesn’t really take much if we learn to breathe and center our attention on our hearts, get present with the moment, and then feel into it. I don’t believe that pleasure can happen when our minds are racing in the opposite direction. Ever tried to completely relax while running? Doesn’t work that well, does it? You have to get the mind to stop, drag it back to where your body is and sync your system up with the now. Only then can you really be with whatever pleasure you’re offering yourself.
One of the more advanced routes to pleasure is associated with our sexuality, and in a pinch our sexuality can be channeled into any activity and then it becomes sensuality, which is highly pleasurable. Pleasure in eating something delicious, feeling the sun on your face, getting a shoulder rub, stretching, looking at beautiful art or photos, listening to gorgeous music…these are all so pleasurable. If we focus on feeling our bodies respond as we enjoy these activities, we are officially having a sensual experience. This is where the pleasure we are feeling can light up our brains, our groins, our whole physiology, and we are healing, opening, and receiving the relaxation and rejuvenation we crave.
In the book, The Pleasure Zone, Resnick lists the 8 fundamental pleasures as being primal, pain relief, play, mental, emotional, sensual, sexual, and spiritual. The last three can “be thought of as the consummate realms for reaching your pleasure potential”, she says.
Take some time out for pleasure today and if it feels good try it daily for a while. I would love to hear back from you how it affects your life.

 


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