Posts Tagged ‘gifts’

Why You Keep Getting Stuff You Don’t Want

December 7, 2013
 
Here come the holidays!  They’re right around the corner and as a woman striving to unleash her goddess on the world, how can you end up satisfied, filled up, and in a state of joyful pleasure this coming season?
 
I’ve been thinking on this lately as I release and declutter, feng shui and get clear about what I desire more of in my life.  It occurred to me that maybe noone else knows what I really want, and if this is the case, then how can they participate in the fun?  
 
We women are notorious for being coy when it comes to gifting, preferring to give rather than to receive, and hoping others, (specifically our significant others) can read our minds.  One of the best assignments I received when I studied with Mama Gena was to create a desire list and put it where people could actually see it.  It sounds simple enough, but did I do it? Not without discomfort and certainly not often enough.
 
You see, we have no one but ourselves to hold responsible when we want this or that fabulous sparkly new thing, and instead we receive another microwaveable heat pack for cramps or the same thing we asked for two years ago when we finally relented and told the truth.  Problem is, by now we’re over that gift and on to the next thing.
 
I don’t want you to think that this letter is only about what we can get, and how to get more material stuff.  I know it sounds like it so far.  The point is that to stretch our goddessly feminine muscles of receiving, we need to be willing to name what it is we want.  It begins with being willing to ask for the obvious, and then when we get more comfy with that, it spreads like butter into the bedroom, boardroom, and the world.
 
If we, as women, are going to heal the world, we have to heal ourselves first.  That means actually receiving the gifts the world wants to give us so badly, and taking responsibility for what we get.  We don’t get to complain if we get a lot of crap we don’t even want…because that will only attract more crap we don’t even want! 
 
The great news is that we do have the power to ask and it starts with tiny weights with only a few repetitions.  The muscles can build really fast, no worries.
 
Here’s some research for this week:
 
1.  Meditate for three minutes or more on this question:  What do I really, really want?
 
2.  Write it all down.
 
3.  Create a couple of lists with this information.  One list is your own private list of what you really want.  The next list is a bite-sized list that’s easily do~able by your partner or loved ones.  This second list will be POSTED on your refrigerator for ALL to see.
Just write:  “Stuff I Really Want” at the top and then number about 5 or 6 things you know your loved ones can deliver easily.  You can mention in passing that you realized noone knows what you want and you figured it would be great to let them know.  Leave it at that.  No pressure, no high expectations.
 
4.  BE APPRECIATIVE and express gratitude when someone delivers!!!
 
5.  Wait and see what happens and report back to me…I can’t wait to hear the details!
 
Enjoy playing with this exercise, and if you want more inspiration, come and follow me on facebook at Goddess Oceana fan page.  I post several tips and inspirations a week and would love to connect with you there.
 
~ Goddess Oceana

 http://www.GoddessOceana.com

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3 Basic Laws of Wealth Consciousness

October 13, 2013

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 Abundance has to be welcomed to show up.  This isn’t obvious if one isn’t aware of the principles of manifestation.  Today I thought I would go over just three of the various principles I’ve learned over the decades as a transformational teacher and healer.

 

  1. Be.  Beingness is the first step to manifesting anything.  Like attracts like in this universe, and so a scarcity mentality cannot possibly attract wealth and contain it for any period of time.  Practicing thinking, feeling, and behaving as if one is already wealthy is a crucial step to having an abundant life.
  2. Do.  Unlike some well-meaning but mistaken ideas out there, wealth doesn’t just come to those who haven’t generated the energy of wealth outwardly.  As water seeks its own balance, so it is with the flow of compensation.  One must begin to do things differently than they were doing them when they weren’t attracting what they wanted.  It’s a universal law that what one gives comes back to the receiver multiplied. To attract wealth, one must begin to give in wealthy ways.  Tithing is one way to do this.  Setting up a plan of action to consistently serve others is another.
  3. Have.  For some, this is the hardest way of being.  It involves being open to receiving.  You see, receiving and giving are the same energy, and so if one is unable to truly receive, they cannot truly give.  Checking in to see what the motive is underneath the giving can lend insights into the internal work that must be done to truly become a giver that is unattached to the gift.  A gift that’s done in expectation of reciprocal gifts is not a gift, it is an unspoken barter.  When there’s attachment to an act of gifting, there wasn’t any gifting happening.  Similarly, when one is unable to receive, the gift of the joy of giving is thwarted.  The person trying to gift you isn’t able to generate abundance in their own lives in relation to you.  Receiving and expressing gratitude to others and in one’s heart are acts of havingness that expand into wealthy ways of being.

 These are truly basic, quick ideas about wealth consciousness, but there is much more to these teachings.  Remembering that the order to abundance is to be, do, and have is a great start.

 

 

 

 

Never Say Never

March 7, 2013

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When my child was five, I took him to the beach and he was so terrified that he stood at the edge of the grass and refused to walk on the sand, crying and crying.  I was beside myself, as I had hopes that swimming would be soothing for him, and enjoyable.  I made a tough decision at that time.  I decided that my child would swim no matter what, because the planet was 3/4 water and I felt it was an important skill.  Because of this commitment, I took him the next day, and the next.  He continued to stand there crying and soon it turned into rage.  I would sit about ten feet away on my towel and he would scream insults at me.  One that sticks in my head to this day was “I’m not swimming, you old handbag!!!!”  (He got that one mixed up, and I still laugh about it.)  The whole beach was staring at us.  Finally, through perseverance, I got him to the towel, and then the water.  The whole process took daily trips for weeks.  I could see the compassion in the faces of other beach-goers turn from compassion to utter dread at the sight of the mom with the screamer.

Swimming lessons was a disaster, as he stood there crying for most of it, due to the noise and commotion of having so many children around him.  The lifeguard came to speak with me.  She said that she wanted to congratulate me because she had seen parents who threw in the towel after one or two days, but never in her life had she seen a mother spend a full month acclimating her child to the beach.  She offered private lessons…and we were off and running on our journey to swim.

What was a regular class for most kids was something that was about 70% harder to navigate for my son with sensory processing disorder, or SPD.  When he was a few years old, a specialist told us something I would never forget.  She said that unfortunately, if we were to throw our child into deep water with a bunch of other kids, our child would be the one that drowned.  I stopped going to that specialist, and determined to spend my lifetime making her wrong if that was what it would take. Our first year of swimming lessons was the year that he accomplished getting wet and walking on sand and attempting to follow the instructor. Small headway, but I would take it.

The next year I tried something new.  My friend was offering for kids to come to her pool and take lessons with a teacher we paid by pooling funds.  It was a tiny bit better because the group was small and less chaotic for him, but still not optimal, and I felt sad that he just couldn’t keep up with the other kids.  Still I insisted on my swim mission.

The following year (to the best of my memory) I learned that I could get private lessons with that same teacher before the regular class, and so we signed him up for that and for the first time, he began to learn how to do some strokes.  One on one lessons, I found, was what worked best for him.  He could only stay afloat with a device, but he began to learn something.  I was elated.

Every year I did my best, and some years we couldn’t find lessons for him that he could deal with, and so my husband and I worked with him in the water ourselves, playing and encouraging him.  A few years ago, he could actually stay afloat for about six feet, swim underwater, and began to at least attempt the back float.  Other kids his age were already swimming away, but I continued to focus on whatever I could to help him only compete with himself.  He was small for his age, and so he blended in with younger children, which helped him not feel as self conscious.

Two years ago I found out about a man that I call the “Swim Whisperer”.  Jim offers classes at the local Y for homeschool kids.  I was very hopeful.  Within the first few weeks, my son was swimming better than he ever had, but still struggling for stamina and coordination.  I made another hard decision then and there to continue his lessons year round to ensure that he could maintain his stride and and improve through the winter.  Trudging through ice and storms to get to swimming was no picnic, and classes dramatically diminished that time of year.  This worked to our advantage, though,  and my son enjoyed lots of individual attention from the teacher.

Jim, the Swim Whisperer teaches like noone I have ever seen.  His patience, natural way with kids, and non-competitive classes are one of a kind.  He makes every single child the focus of a good example, and helps each of them shine.  He is magic.  I might also mention that every day swim day rolled around, my son still dreaded it.  He fought with me, didn’t want to go, and told me he hated it.  It was so hard for me to continue to drag him there when he really fought about it.  Many times I almost gave up, thinking perhaps I was fighting a losing battle, or that I was wrong to force him to learn something he didn’t care about.

My stubborn Taurus nature won out, and I held strong to my mission.  Always, I would come back to the thought that there had to be one thing this child could conquer, and that he would thank me someday because he would be able to enjoy the water, boating, summer fun…this kept me going.  Suddenly this season, my son’s swimming improved dramatically in the last year, and at almost 13 years of age, the payoff began!  My child, who was destined to drown, could now freestyle a full hundred yards, dive into the deep end and take off down the lane, and continues to improve with speed and skill.  

This whole process has taught me so much as a mother. It taught me that sometimes I have to stand for what is good for my child no matter how much he hates it.  Patience and love can get him there.  Relentless vision and commitment are as important as air when it comes to supporting a child.  It taught me that people can assume lots of things, but if I stay true to what my heart tells me is right on, miracles can happen.  I have learned subtle things about my son and how he operates, what works with him and what does not.  I learned that he says no to almost anything I suggest at first because this is the nature of SPD, that defensiveness is a first off self protection mechanism in a world that is too much for a subtle, sensitive soul.  I have learned that if I hold him with patience and love through his “no”, and allow him plenty of time to adjust without rushing, he often will melt into a “yes” after a while. 

I have learned to slow down, to completely give up comparing anyone to anyone else, but rather celebrate personal wins.  I’ve learned that well meaning people can say hurtful things without a clue as to the suffering they’ve caused.  I’ve learned to continue to plod on determinedly in the direction of my desire no matter how slow or long the journey is.  I’ve learned that when one makes up their mind with sharp focus, the universe does indeed conspire and sends us exactly what we need.  I’ve learned that if one teacher isn’t working, keep asking until you find the right one.  I’ve learned that just because something works for the majority, flexibility with individuals is best.  Most of all, I have learned to never give up and never, ever say never.

Are You Giving it Away and Ignoring Your Fabulosity?

July 11, 2012

Away for a long weekend and catching up after five days without blogging….oh my.  This morning I had a major epiphany.  Not a small one, mind you, but a big, huge, fat one.  My beloved and I share our morning cuppa over a daily inspirational reading and a few minutes of prayer and meditation to give our day a combined crystal launching off.

This morning was a bit different.  We started having this amazing conversation that is similar to many we’ve had over the past 20-something years about his business, his current challenges and wins, and the extraordinary day to day occurrences of being the CEO of a startup company that’s been chosen in the top hundred of worldwide startups for mentorship with the most elite investors on the east coast.  The conversation usually starts with interesting minutia, often leads into a challenge or query, and almost always ends with big smiles, clarity, enthusiasm, and a renewed sense of accomplishment and moving to the next phase.

As a spiritual business coach to many women embarking on opening their own businesses or shifting gears towards ramping up their businesses, this type of conversation comes easily to me.  It’s like breathing, making a sandwich, and finding a new ingredient when the preferred one isn’t available.  I love what I do and am so darn good at it that like many people who are gifted in a certain area of expertise, I take it for granted.

This morning, however, a light went on.  I realized that what comes to me so naturally is not necessarily that easy for someone else.  It dawned on me that I have been coaching my beloved for decades and that he is not female, holistic, or embarking on his own one person service venture like my clients.  He’s been corporate for years, has employees, gives high level presentations, has been a consultant to firms seeking to overhaul the very foundations of how they approach large projects, and is an ambitious, goal oriented, driven, suit wearing, briefcase carrying, highly intelligent male.  (He’s hot, too.)  What dawned on my marble head this morning was that I am a highly skilled leadership coach for men and women who are on the cutting edge of worldwide paradigm busting entrepreneurial ventures.  What sets me apart from the typical leadership coach is an incredible thirty years of training in various spiritual and energetic modalities that shift and transform blocks and patterns that keep people stuck, catapulting them into the success they desire, thereby saving them from years of frustration and failure.  Whoa, right?!

What are your gifts, and what have you been hiding from yourself in order to stay small and comfy?  What comes so naturally to you that you don’t even consider it a skill?  Who have you been helping in your life in ways that you don’t acknowledge?  Where in your life are people thriving and so much better due to a little something you gave them that was almost effortless on your part, or even really, really fun?

Goddess Oceana

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