Posts Tagged ‘gratitude’

Are You Too Much, Not Enough, Or Just Plain Confused?

June 30, 2015

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Do you shrink yourself to be more pleasing?

Do you go blank when someone asks you what you want, or make something up in hopes it will turn out well?

Are you confused about why men don’t seem attracted to you, or do you miss the signals?

You’re not alone, sister.  So many of us are stymied by the crazy mixed messages we are bombarded with from the media, and even more importantly, by the way we’ve been trained to be silent, appeasing, and people pleasing.  It becomes a habit based in fear and self-preservation.

You don’t need this habit, but wow does it take hold when it’s reinforced by attitudes in the culture, commercials, and good old-fashioned female oppression.

The truth is that you are never too much, you’re always enough, and you know way more than you give yourself credit for, you goddess!  But how are you supposed to tap into this type of confidence, courage and savvy?

This is my specialty, and I have been through it for decades until I figured it out.  I was the ultimate people pleaser, good girl, quiet and polite lady who spent a whole lot of time battling depression, failed relationships, a failed marriage, and even abuse and rape.

My journey to wholeness began  very slowly, years before I realized I had a problem.  I was training in Law of Attraction and spiritual mysticism early on in my teens, and started my passion for attending transformational workshops in my twenties.  But it wasn’t enough to wipe out the low self-worth I was battling.  Brilliant teachings and trainings were wonderful, and I benefitted immensely, but they didn’t change the deepest core of my particular emotional and mental wounding.

The process of healing took me three decades and was a relentless search on my part, healing layer after layer after layer.  I went through what I would call a spiritual death in my early forties, and the journey back from that was through my ongoing intensive training in the Divine Feminine mysteries, wisewoman teachings, shamanic trainings, and decades of practicing tantric yoga.

I believe there is a reason for everything we experience, and that the soul is imbued with a Divine Plan in collaboration with our inherent desires for ecstasy.

What I offer you now as an elder is the full scope of all that I’ve learned and practiced over my lifetime.  One method doesn’t work for everyone, as you are a unique and wondrous creature with a path as intricate and distinct as a snowflake.  Every individual has their own story to be lived and liberated into an enlightened legend, and for most of us, the support and guidance of a wise teacher with many experiences and an array of skills is necessary.

My passion is to dive deep with women and peer into their souls, support them to fulfill their Divine Destiny with joy, love, and sensuality as their inherent birthright.

Blissings & Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Goddess Oceana is a certified Tantric Yoga Teacher, Shaman, and Women’s Empowerment Coach. If you’re a woman who wants to embrace your inner power to attract and create more money, and become a magnet to more positive relationships, go here for the free series, The Seven Goddess Secrets Every Modern Woman Must Know To Live In Passionate Pleasure now.

 

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What’s Right With You?

April 23, 2013

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Is there something right with me?  This is what I feel we could be asking.  It begs a whole different response from the universe. Too often I’ve heard the voice in my head asking what could be wrong with me.  Do you ever feel that way?  Do you feel that what’s going on around you seems so different from what you are experiencing that you start to think you just don’t fit in, you’re in the wrong place, from a different planet, or you’re simply clueless and can’t figure out this mysterious language everyone around you is speaking?

Lately, I’ve begun to see clues that reflect I’m not defective, but rather that those inner understandings were way, way ahead of their time.  People are suddenly saying things I was thinking years ago.  I feel affirmed.  I feel a bit disgusted that I didn’t believe in myself earlier. I’m wondering, actually, how long it will take them to start reflecting the things I’ve been intuiting more recently.  And I’ve been wondering how I can verbalize how I see things, what I’m feeling, and what it’s like for me now so I can head them off at the pass this time.

This is the beauty of healing and loving oneself.  I’m here to tell you that you can make this trip and it’s worth it.  You can begin to replace the question of what’s wrong with you, with finding ways to agree with the perfection and exquisite beauty of exactly who you are and how you are in every single moment.

You may have some deep conditioning around how bad you are when you get angry, because nice girls don’t do that.  Or perhaps you see all the ways you could have handled a situation better, and you’re busy getting down on yourself for not knowing better.  The truth is that we cannot know better until we know worse.  Only in researching and failing do we learn and improve.  What matters is how we frame what occurred into a story that empowers rather than diminishes us.

How could you possibly know what you didn’t know?  Maybe this is a good place to begin.  Find yourself right.  Have some mercy on the moment, on your humanity, on the you that deeply cares.  If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be so upset that you screwed up, or that you didn’t get it, or that you might have handled it a whole lot better.

Forgiving ourselves begins in a moment, when we can ask what’s right with us and give it a resounding ‘hell yeah’!  I offer the question now.  What’s right with you?

~Oceana LeBlanc is a transformational leader, women’s empowerment coach, tantric yogini, and shaman.

http://www.goddessoceana.com

Beginner’s Guide to Falling In Love With You

April 21, 2013

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I want to really talk to you today.  I’ve been thinking so much about self-love and how women just work and please and caretake.  You know, even when I try to write some very basic tidbits on how to begin to indulge in self-care, I run into women who can’t even wrap their minds around a few minutes of self-indulgence.

Someone wrote to me the other day and she was saying she really wanted me to expand on this concept.  She said that if a woman is so deprived of self-love that she has isolated herself and never gets out, where in the world does she start?  I told her that the fastest way to begin was to eye gaze.

It sounds weird, right?!  Eye gazing.  Like, what the heck is that?  And how on earth do you do it with yourself?  It’s actually a tantric technique, and Rumi, that world renown phenomenal poet of divine love, used to become enlightened.  He spent a full year in a room with his teacher simply eye gazing.  He emerged an enlightened being and wrote poetry that to this day touches the hearts of millions.

I tell people to eye gaze because it was where I began my journey to self-love.  Thirty-some years ago I couldn’t look at my own eyes in the mirror for more than a few seconds.  It made me so uncomfortable that I literally could not bear it.  Today, I could do it endlessly, falling deeper and deeper into blissful communion with my Self.  My Self as in the Divine that lives within, the gentle creature that embodies this Self, the vulnerable sweetness of my innocence and the compassion that wells up when I really see me.

So, for today, please try to look into your own eyes, even for 60 seconds.  Allow the discomfort to rise, and see if you can stay with yourself for a few more seconds.  See the tenderness that others see when they look at you. See beyond the face and into the soul, where, if you keep up this practice daily, you will meet the Self that loves you utterly and completely.

~Oceana LeBlanc is a women’s empowerment coach, tantric yogini, and shaman

http://www.goddessoceana.com

Self Love Makes Lotsa Love Kittens

April 20, 2013

kittens galore

The more we love ourselves, the more love we’re able to receive and the more love we can pour onto the world freely.  If you do the math, you’ll end up finding that self love multiplies like bunnies and kittens.

A calculator cannot add up the exponential and radical profusion of miraculous ripples of good that reverberate into the ethers and bounce back.  No miracle shelter could begin to hold the colossal volume of overflowing goodness babies that proliferate the population when a being practices self love.

Giving without expectation of reward is only possible if one has mastered self love.  One who cannot love themselves fully is tethered energetically with invisible iron cords of non-release and prosperity constipation. Gifting doesn’t happen.  What happens is unspoken bartering, gift wrapped with a bow.  The poor sucker receiving this package is now under scrutiny.

This type of sad affair causes all manner of unappreciated gifts, unfulfilled expectations, and even some outright victimization, illnesses, and swampy nose dives of despair. Among other things, it’s just tight and contracted.  Ouch.  Love can barely squeeze in and love can barely squeeze out.  Suffering ensues.

The antidote for all of this is to do the unthinkable.  Overdose with self love lubricant.  It’s what society tells us is selfish, what mama taught us good girls don’t do, and what we feel like we should be hiding. We need to overdose, because we’re sorely lacking and because when one is malnourished, drastic measures are necessary.

We need high potency self love, pleasure breaks, bubble baths, treats, hugs, massages, laughter, happy movies, snuggling and cuddles, sweet smelling stuff, dancing wild, sleeping naked on satin sheets, crying in a pair of strong and loving arms, letting someone brush our hair, lounging around doing absolutely nothing while sipping expensive liquids, or what. ever. it. takes. We need sessions of proclaiming our gratitude for every single thing we see in the mirror from a hang nail to the curve of our cheek.

People, this is an international emergency.  Self love is the red cross of getting off the cross and caring for the only one that is right here in this moment.  You.

~Oceana LeBlanc is a transformational leader, women’s empowerment coach, tantric yogini, and shaman.

http://www.goddessoceana.com

Some Good News

April 19, 2013

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I have some *good* news. You are love, lovely, loving beyond anything I could have imagined. Keep up the good work. I see you.

When the shit hits the fan, it’s you that shows up with paper towels and soap, rolling up your sleeves.  In the middle of the night, you’re there praying for the poor, lonely soul that weeps and longs.  When I fall down, you show up and help me up off my knees and ask if I’m okay.

In the midst of a life or death crisis, you blast out a call to the many in efforts to pull together and bring everything you’ve got. That time when I moved and we were so sick of eating pizza, you showed up out of nowhere with a huge pan of healthy dinner.  You even gave me the recipe.

When she was driving for seven hours alone, she passed your place and you invited her in, fed her, and opened your home with a clean place to rest her head.  As you said your goodbyes, you loaded her arms with gifts and smiles, and a great big bag of come back anytime.

That time when his best friend moved away, you stepped up without missing a beat.  You came to be my audience on my most nervous, scary first time and wrote the best review.  Someone called you crying in complete despair and you listened with so much love for a full hour until they were all better again.  You were sitting in your car the whole time but you never mentioned it.

You were one of the only ones to make time to visit him in the hospital, and you stayed longer when you realized no one else was showing up.  You stopped to pick up the trash in that public bathroom to make it nicer for the next person.  When you dished up dessert, you gave them the biggest pieces even though it was your favorite.

You were terrified, but you still went first because you knew they were terrified as well.  They said some really mean things to you, but you decided to see that it was their fear talking and responded with love.

I could go on forever, which is what’s so stunning.  There’s plenty of room here for you to fill in the blanks, my friend.  Suffice it to say that you are love, loving, and loved beyond measure.  Keep up that good work, because I so totally see you.

~Oceana Leblanc is a transformational leader, women’s empowerment coach, tantric yogini, and shaman.

http://www.goddessoceana.com

How Do You Wake Up?

April 18, 2013

waking up cranky

Sometimes we are rudely awakened.  I had a spiritual teacher once who told me that the way people wake up from a deep sleep is generally the way they react in life.  She said that people who wake up angry are really pissed off, and people who wake up so sleepy they can barely awaken go through life half asleep or unconscious. Others who have a sunny disposition wake up happily.  Some people even wake up quickly and get to task, and some are so busy doing that they’re always sleepwalking.  Through the years I’ve remembered this and pondered it.  I don’t know if I believe it’s a hard and fast rule, and I certainly don’t believe that people never change, but there is some seed of truth to it that keeps bringing it back to consciousness.

In the past few days I’ve been watching all of the beautiful and ugly ways in which people awaken to tragedy.  For the most part, we are fortunate in the west for the ways in which we thrive, the privilege of creature comforts and enough to eat.  Wars don’t generally happen here in our yards.  At least not the obvious types of war.

There are other wars we engage in, though.  Another spiritual teacher I had for ten years had travelled extensively and done relief work in war-torn countries. In one place she was trying to teach and feed young children in a poverty-stricken preschool while they were  bombed daily.  She had lived through more than I could imagine.  I expressed to her how fortunate we were here and how I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t seem to get my act together in such seemingly privileged conditions.

I will never forget what she told me.  She said that the suffering in other countries was tangible, palpable, able to be seen with the eyes.  In the west, she said, she had never seen people this tormented mentally.  The suffering was hidden, and people can’t help what they cannot see. For her, the mental suffering of the people in the west was just as terrible as anything she had witnessed anywhere else.  The aspect of it that she felt was worse was that it was,  as she put it, a deep and invisible suffering that left a terrible void of spiritual despair.

This made such a deep impression on me that I have devoted my life to alleviating this kind of suffering.  Sometimes, I catch people in mid-suffering mode, and I make them laugh so hard that they don’t notice me injecting them with heavy doses of compassion and love. I do my best to teach people to love themselves, and I show them new places where they can perch mentally in order to see their own magnificence.  Other times I tiptoe around sleeping folks so as not to wake them up, because awakening them would surely bring on a worse suffering.  There are times when sleeping is, after all, better medicine.

In times like these, I just pour love straight onto wounds.  I don’t need to wake anyone because they’ve all heard the alarm, and I stand here praying while the universe reorganizes everything in a big scary blender of total chaos.  I pray for us to remember that deep inside we are all love no matter what the appearances will have us believe. I pray mostly for a world of compassion and peace, and that those waking up angry, confused, hurt, tortured, or insane will be held and rocked in such a safe blanket of love that their suffering melts completely and is replaced with wholeness and joy.  You may be thinking right now that I’m dreaming because this is a fantasy, but I’m actually wide awake and just plain stubborn. I refuse to hold any other vision than a world of peace and love.

~Oceana LeBlanc is a women’s empowerment coach, tantric yogini, and shaman.

http://www.goddessoceana.com

Getting What You Want By Making Space

July 26, 2011

Making Space

 

 This is one of my favorite steps in having what I want in life. I like it because it’s simple to understand and the results are fast. Once a person determines what it is they want, and visualizes it, they need to make sure that there is a place for that special something in their lives. The place could be material, emotional, mental, or physical, and all of these components are important.

On the material plane, it’s fairly simple to create space. Anything that is cluttering our living space is an obvious manifestation of other types of clutter. When we hoard certain items, or don’t clean, we’re clogging up our lives in many ways. The universe abhors a vacuum, and will immediately seek to fill it. So creating a space for something you want attracts it faster and easier. This applies to a thing, a feeling, or a new way of being. It’s the most obvious and visual way of applying ourselves to making room for what we want.

Imagine that feeling you have when you’ve just cleaned a room and it’s fresh and light, and things are in place. It feels really good, doesn’t it? That good feeling is not only because it’s cleaner on a material level, but it affects your energetic body, or aura, and your mind and emotions as well. There is room to see what’s actually there, and we often find things we really don’t need that we can give away or sell. Having a place for our things is also a way of respecting what we’ve been blessed with, so that it multiplies the good in our lives.

This week, consider cleaning and clearing an area in your living space that is truly blocked up and cluttered. It might be a closet you’ve been neglecting for a while, or your basement. First think of what it is that you want, and then ask Spirit to reveal to you the area that most reflects where the corresponding energy might be slowed up or stopped in your  physical space. Then get to work, and while you’re cleaning imagine the flow of energy there, visualizing new good coming your way.

Getting What You Want With Celebration

July 9, 2011

Celebration is an act of energetic, enthusiastic agreement with what has just transpired.  It can also be a way to rev up your engine for something you haven’t seen yet, but are determined is coming. It’s a high energy way of getting into agreement with what is.

I encourage my clients to make a big, huge deal about every tiny iota of good stuff coming their way.  The truth is, if you don’t notice the good stuff, it just dwindles.

A well known prosperity principle, metaphysical truth, and universal rule is that we attract whatever we focus on.

So, my friends, if you are focusing so much on what you don’t want, on what went wrong, and on what you don’t have that you wish you did…you are, in essence, creating a boatload more of that same un~havingness.

This is a simple concept, and yet can be difficult to practice without like-minded people around.  It helps to have them there to gently remind you if you forget.   You might find a friend or two that are working on the same disciplines, and commit to cheering each other on.

My spiritual guidance packages are geared towards keeping people on track with their desires, encouraging them in a light-hearted and fun way to remember how to be open to good and to focus on what they want more of.  We actually celebrate together on a regular basis, creating a habit of a celebratory and grateful attitude.

Celebration is KEY, in my professional opinion, to creating enormous good stuff in your life.

Grab a like~minded friend and celebrate something that went right, something you were given, something good today.  It can be as small as finding a dollar bill, or as large as a promotion…it doesn’t matter.

Make a habit out of celebration and notice what happens.

 

Willingness

June 21, 2011

The very first step towards having what you want is to learn the act of willingness.  It takes a high level of intention to be a conscious creatrix of your reality.  While on the path of learning to master your thoughts, your words, your actions, and your visualizations, it’s important to learn how to navigate towards something better when you feel stuck.

I have seen people so firmly rooted in a fixed pattern at times that they cannot begin to see any possibility of change.  They can’t imagine anything better, or that the crisis they are in at that moment could have any solution whatsoever.  It’s as if they are so entrenched in the small, narrow view they’re holding that they cannot see the forest for the trees.

The best course of action I have found to help is to introduce some “give” in their perspective.  To relax a tiny bit, to allow a glimmer of light into the dark forest, or to have some small amount of slack in the rope that is binding them into knots of anxiety and stress…is the very best way to unravel the knot.

The question to ask is, “Would you be WILLING to have a solution present itself?”  And of course, this willingness is usually just enough to give the universe an opening to work with.  Simultaneously, it is harmless enough for someone to agree to be willing, rather than to commit to finding a solution.  If you have to find it yourself, and you can’t even imagine it ever getting better, how could you agree to that?  You couldn’t.  BUT…you might be WILLING to agree that there MIGHT be a possibility that you don’t know of. 

Willingness is a crucial step in bringing possibilities of a brand new creation that our little minds cannot conceive of, but that the Divine Mind is aligning in perfect and elegant timing.

I leave you with today’s lesson to consider.  If you are stuck in a challenge, or you desire something so seemingly out of your realm of imagination, use the tool of willingness.  Say to yourself, “I am willing to be open to a new possibility.” 

What’s The Big Deal About Gratitude?

December 11, 2010

There’s a lot of talk about gratitude these days, from Oprah to books on the subject, to whole courses on the topic.  I have wondered if I could define the role gratitude plays in happiness, and until now I was confused about how to explain it.

A long time ago,  I did a course where a piece of our homework for one month was to write a thousand gratitudes.  I wrote and I wrote, and then I found myself stymied, thinking that I had run out of them after a few hundred.  It occurred to me that there were things so small that I took for granted, like eyelashes or pebbles, and for a few pages my list became hyper-focused on the tiniest stuff of life.

An amazing thing happened as I continued with the process…you’ve probably guessed it…I began to see my life through new eyes.  Every thing from the fact that I could breathe to the glass in my windows, from someone saying good morning to having a clean sheet of paper to write on…it all began to take on a new and incredible magic.  What was once neglected was suddenly my reason for rejoicing, and my joy grew.  My appreciation of life grew, and the appreciation was seemingly contagious.  People smiled at me more, gifts came my way, and money began to flow into my life more easefully.

It wasn’t all rosy, though.  There were still the things in life that irritated me, the people that annoyed or upset me, and the physical maladies that can sometimes plague us all.  But through my practice of gratitude, these upsetting parts of life became more tolerable, more manageable, and passed more quickly.

It is truly a practice, this thing called gratitude.  It’s not our normal training as humans to look for the good, to find a reason to be ecstatic, or to see a challenge or tragedy as cause for celebration.  It’s a discipline for someone seeking mastery or enlightenment.

Mastery and enlightenment require a diligence in the face of contraction from aliveness.  Breathing, which is the energy of the life force animating the flesh suits we acquire at birth, is excellent training for this practice of enlightenment.  We breathe in…expand into life and love…and we exhale…contracting into the letting go of life, or dying…expanding and contracting.  Our very existence trains us to be masters of many things including non-attachment.  Gratitude for life would mean gratitude for ALL of it…not just the so called “good things” we can weed out of the mundane we tend to focus on, but even what we may deem “bad” or “undesirable”.

My gratitudes began to take a turn somewhere in the middle towards the end of a thousand.  I found that I wasn’t just grateful for the people who made me smile and feel warm and fuzzy, but I was downright on my knees grateful for those who pissed me off, who irritated my expectations, and who reflected the parts of myself I’d rather not look at.  I was grateful for pain…which had previously been something I avoided at all costs…because pain let me know I was alive, and pain was such a fantastic backdrop for pleasure.  I was grateful for the all of life, not just the tiny gratitudes that had poured from  my pen in a desperate attempt to complete the assignment.  My journey of a thousand gratitudes did not stop that year…or ever.  I carry that particular gratitude exercise, given to me by a true master of enlightenment, to this day with a profound gratitude to her and to the lessons of living life with my heart wide open.


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