Posts Tagged ‘guide’

Killer Queen, Are You Ready to Dynamite Your Upper Limits with a Laser Beam?

July 12, 2012

She’s a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

~Queen

The line from this song is finally in the right time and the right place on planet earth, thanks to the futuristic super powers of Freddy Mercury.  Is your upper limit so shallow you can barely get your toes wet in the abundant waters of self love, empowerment, receiving, succeeding, or whatever else you desire? Or is it up to your knees?   I’m realizing that the tide seems to go in and out on mine depending on the time of the month and the season.  Inspired by an article in Forbes by Barbara Stanny,  I realized that my upper limit keeps moving up and down, and this is why it might be so difficult for me to pinpoint and break through sometimes.

As a woman, the cycles of the month have every bit as much to do with how I work at my business as anything else, and it seems to deserve some attention before it takes me down.  I used to worry about the possibility of having to work when I was crampy, bloated, and feeling miserable.  There was good reason for this, because I had a history of chowing down up to six Advil at a time just to be able to walk every month.  I would pray that my cycle would land on the weekend, because there was no leeway in my employment terms that stated I was entitled to two days a month off with paid menstrual leave.  My fantasy was that I would own my own business some day and schedule my life around that time of the month, and bask on the couch, do some deep and necessary dreaming, keep the rice pack warm, and sip herbal tea.

Now that I finally have my own business, I’m also in menopause and I never know when that time will occur.  I’ve tried for the last few years to schedule my life around it, to no avail.  When I have a big event, my cycle mysteriously shifts as if it’s an event seeking missile aimed at destroying every single attempt at a great presentation or an enthusiastic networking experience.  A force greater than my good intentions to stretch my upper limits is at work here, I am convinced.   It’s not necessarily bad, but it’s clearly vying for my full attention.

So what does Gay Hendrick’s famous upper limiting theory have to do with my period? It has caused me to consider that owning my vulnerability and surrendering to what is present in my life is actually a way for me to stretch my upper limit.  I see that I have this belief about not being able to function when I’m bleeding, but it goes deeper than that.  This is about stretching in a feminine way and not necessarily in the higher, bigger, better, super-sized way we assume when we think of upper limits, success mindsets, and goal setting.

The new paradigm of honoring the power of the feminine has taught me there’s an internal power I hold that I didn’t know about before.  It’s a capacity to go much deeper and to stretch down into the womb for intuitive wisdom.  Instead of raising the upper limit ceiling, it’s a trip into the antique basement. It’s a quiet, messy, stirring, chaotic, fierce power that’s been repressed for ages, and I hold that it’s time for us to own it, explore it, and agree with it.  Women have the capacity to see the future, know things we have no business knowing just because we feel it in our bones, and we have a force greater than nuclear power laying mostly dormant perched between our thighs.

I’ve spent the last decade target shooting with this power and I hit more bulls eyes every time.  Observation, research, and discipline hone mastery, so I’m well on my way to China via my basement.  Will I crack my upper limits down there?  I dunno.  One thing I can tell you with complete certainty, though,  is that simply because I’m a woman, I’m “…dynamite with a laser beam, guaranteed to blow your mind.” (~Queen)

If you’d like some help with honing your feminine power, go here and I’ll hook you up with a free introductory session.

Blissings & Blessings,

Oceana

http://www.goddessoceana.com

http://www.forbes.com/sites/barbarastanny/2012/07/11/the-1-reason-we-self-sabotage/

http://www.thebigleap.net/

http://www.musictory.com/music/Queen

Unlovable, Ugly, and Surely Bad

July 5, 2012

 

Sometimes, I’m afraid to really let you see me, because I’m so flawed it’s ridiculous.  Somewhere along the line, I was thoroughly convinced that I was bad to the core, that noone could possibly love me, and that I had to do some pretty fancy footwork to make sure noone would find out.  After all, if anyone knew, they’d hate me and want me killed.

Where does a child go from there?  No matter how hard a parent tries, there will be messaging a child receives that’s bound to wound their psyche in some way.  Children are each unique, and they absorb messages we don’t even say out loud.  You could have four children and one family event of emotional charge, and each child will internalize it differently.

My own childhood was rich with uncertainty, fighting, anger, a good dose of poverty, and plenty of emotional abuse.  The flip side was some pretty awesome love, an absolutely gorgeous location, organic food, scholarships for voice lessons, some incredible adventures, and the freedom to explore and play to my heart’s content.  I’ve heard of far more terrifying childhoods than mine, and far more privileged ones as well.  Not one of us comes out unscathed.

Regardless of the decades of work I’ve done on myself, the personal growth workshops, deep transformational work, spiritual practices, and therapy, there will always be that voice inside.  It doesn’t go away as we assume it will if we work hard enough.  The truth is that it’s a part of us, and accepting this is actually a way to make peace with it.  The difference, I think, is whether we’re victimized by our internal predatory voice or empowered by it.

We can become skilled at distinguishing this voice, putting it aside or using it’s energy to generate a new message.  When I notice that I’m afraid people hate me because I’m shining too much, it’s a big red light that I need to breathe and listen.  That’s when I assess what I’m really afraid of, and give myself the talk.  It goes like this:  “Oceana, that’s your scared little girl.  She is trying to protect you and keep you safe. It’s time to reassure her that she’s safe, and that for you to do your job of helping other women feel confident enough to shine, you must allow yourself to shine.  It’s your dharma.  Go for it.”

I encourage you to create your own pep talk for those moments when your inner child is having a hard time.  I’d love to help you with this.  I offer introductory sessions for women who are exhausted with the way things are, want to feel empowered and passionate again, and want to go for their dreams but need some support and a skilled spiritual coach to guide them.  Just go HERE and follow the directions, and we’ll have you shining brighter than you ever have before…

Goddess Oceana

http://galadarling.com/article/100-ways-you-can-start-loving-yourself-right-now

http://www.owningpink.com/

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14692-inner-child/


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