Posts Tagged ‘hope’

Are You Giving it Away and Ignoring Your Fabulosity?

July 11, 2012

Away for a long weekend and catching up after five days without blogging….oh my.  This morning I had a major epiphany.  Not a small one, mind you, but a big, huge, fat one.  My beloved and I share our morning cuppa over a daily inspirational reading and a few minutes of prayer and meditation to give our day a combined crystal launching off.

This morning was a bit different.  We started having this amazing conversation that is similar to many we’ve had over the past 20-something years about his business, his current challenges and wins, and the extraordinary day to day occurrences of being the CEO of a startup company that’s been chosen in the top hundred of worldwide startups for mentorship with the most elite investors on the east coast.  The conversation usually starts with interesting minutia, often leads into a challenge or query, and almost always ends with big smiles, clarity, enthusiasm, and a renewed sense of accomplishment and moving to the next phase.

As a spiritual business coach to many women embarking on opening their own businesses or shifting gears towards ramping up their businesses, this type of conversation comes easily to me.  It’s like breathing, making a sandwich, and finding a new ingredient when the preferred one isn’t available.  I love what I do and am so darn good at it that like many people who are gifted in a certain area of expertise, I take it for granted.

This morning, however, a light went on.  I realized that what comes to me so naturally is not necessarily that easy for someone else.  It dawned on me that I have been coaching my beloved for decades and that he is not female, holistic, or embarking on his own one person service venture like my clients.  He’s been corporate for years, has employees, gives high level presentations, has been a consultant to firms seeking to overhaul the very foundations of how they approach large projects, and is an ambitious, goal oriented, driven, suit wearing, briefcase carrying, highly intelligent male.  (He’s hot, too.)  What dawned on my marble head this morning was that I am a highly skilled leadership coach for men and women who are on the cutting edge of worldwide paradigm busting entrepreneurial ventures.  What sets me apart from the typical leadership coach is an incredible thirty years of training in various spiritual and energetic modalities that shift and transform blocks and patterns that keep people stuck, catapulting them into the success they desire, thereby saving them from years of frustration and failure.  Whoa, right?!

What are your gifts, and what have you been hiding from yourself in order to stay small and comfy?  What comes so naturally to you that you don’t even consider it a skill?  Who have you been helping in your life in ways that you don’t acknowledge?  Where in your life are people thriving and so much better due to a little something you gave them that was almost effortless on your part, or even really, really fun?

Goddess Oceana

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Unlovable, Ugly, and Surely Bad

July 5, 2012

 

Sometimes, I’m afraid to really let you see me, because I’m so flawed it’s ridiculous.  Somewhere along the line, I was thoroughly convinced that I was bad to the core, that noone could possibly love me, and that I had to do some pretty fancy footwork to make sure noone would find out.  After all, if anyone knew, they’d hate me and want me killed.

Where does a child go from there?  No matter how hard a parent tries, there will be messaging a child receives that’s bound to wound their psyche in some way.  Children are each unique, and they absorb messages we don’t even say out loud.  You could have four children and one family event of emotional charge, and each child will internalize it differently.

My own childhood was rich with uncertainty, fighting, anger, a good dose of poverty, and plenty of emotional abuse.  The flip side was some pretty awesome love, an absolutely gorgeous location, organic food, scholarships for voice lessons, some incredible adventures, and the freedom to explore and play to my heart’s content.  I’ve heard of far more terrifying childhoods than mine, and far more privileged ones as well.  Not one of us comes out unscathed.

Regardless of the decades of work I’ve done on myself, the personal growth workshops, deep transformational work, spiritual practices, and therapy, there will always be that voice inside.  It doesn’t go away as we assume it will if we work hard enough.  The truth is that it’s a part of us, and accepting this is actually a way to make peace with it.  The difference, I think, is whether we’re victimized by our internal predatory voice or empowered by it.

We can become skilled at distinguishing this voice, putting it aside or using it’s energy to generate a new message.  When I notice that I’m afraid people hate me because I’m shining too much, it’s a big red light that I need to breathe and listen.  That’s when I assess what I’m really afraid of, and give myself the talk.  It goes like this:  “Oceana, that’s your scared little girl.  She is trying to protect you and keep you safe. It’s time to reassure her that she’s safe, and that for you to do your job of helping other women feel confident enough to shine, you must allow yourself to shine.  It’s your dharma.  Go for it.”

I encourage you to create your own pep talk for those moments when your inner child is having a hard time.  I’d love to help you with this.  I offer introductory sessions for women who are exhausted with the way things are, want to feel empowered and passionate again, and want to go for their dreams but need some support and a skilled spiritual coach to guide them.  Just go HERE and follow the directions, and we’ll have you shining brighter than you ever have before…

Goddess Oceana

http://galadarling.com/article/100-ways-you-can-start-loving-yourself-right-now

http://www.owningpink.com/

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14692-inner-child/

Getting What You Want By Making Space

July 26, 2011

Making Space

 

 This is one of my favorite steps in having what I want in life. I like it because it’s simple to understand and the results are fast. Once a person determines what it is they want, and visualizes it, they need to make sure that there is a place for that special something in their lives. The place could be material, emotional, mental, or physical, and all of these components are important.

On the material plane, it’s fairly simple to create space. Anything that is cluttering our living space is an obvious manifestation of other types of clutter. When we hoard certain items, or don’t clean, we’re clogging up our lives in many ways. The universe abhors a vacuum, and will immediately seek to fill it. So creating a space for something you want attracts it faster and easier. This applies to a thing, a feeling, or a new way of being. It’s the most obvious and visual way of applying ourselves to making room for what we want.

Imagine that feeling you have when you’ve just cleaned a room and it’s fresh and light, and things are in place. It feels really good, doesn’t it? That good feeling is not only because it’s cleaner on a material level, but it affects your energetic body, or aura, and your mind and emotions as well. There is room to see what’s actually there, and we often find things we really don’t need that we can give away or sell. Having a place for our things is also a way of respecting what we’ve been blessed with, so that it multiplies the good in our lives.

This week, consider cleaning and clearing an area in your living space that is truly blocked up and cluttered. It might be a closet you’ve been neglecting for a while, or your basement. First think of what it is that you want, and then ask Spirit to reveal to you the area that most reflects where the corresponding energy might be slowed up or stopped in your  physical space. Then get to work, and while you’re cleaning imagine the flow of energy there, visualizing new good coming your way.

Getting What You Want With Celebration

July 9, 2011

Celebration is an act of energetic, enthusiastic agreement with what has just transpired.  It can also be a way to rev up your engine for something you haven’t seen yet, but are determined is coming. It’s a high energy way of getting into agreement with what is.

I encourage my clients to make a big, huge deal about every tiny iota of good stuff coming their way.  The truth is, if you don’t notice the good stuff, it just dwindles.

A well known prosperity principle, metaphysical truth, and universal rule is that we attract whatever we focus on.

So, my friends, if you are focusing so much on what you don’t want, on what went wrong, and on what you don’t have that you wish you did…you are, in essence, creating a boatload more of that same un~havingness.

This is a simple concept, and yet can be difficult to practice without like-minded people around.  It helps to have them there to gently remind you if you forget.   You might find a friend or two that are working on the same disciplines, and commit to cheering each other on.

My spiritual guidance packages are geared towards keeping people on track with their desires, encouraging them in a light-hearted and fun way to remember how to be open to good and to focus on what they want more of.  We actually celebrate together on a regular basis, creating a habit of a celebratory and grateful attitude.

Celebration is KEY, in my professional opinion, to creating enormous good stuff in your life.

Grab a like~minded friend and celebrate something that went right, something you were given, something good today.  It can be as small as finding a dollar bill, or as large as a promotion…it doesn’t matter.

Make a habit out of celebration and notice what happens.

 

Willingness

June 21, 2011

The very first step towards having what you want is to learn the act of willingness.  It takes a high level of intention to be a conscious creatrix of your reality.  While on the path of learning to master your thoughts, your words, your actions, and your visualizations, it’s important to learn how to navigate towards something better when you feel stuck.

I have seen people so firmly rooted in a fixed pattern at times that they cannot begin to see any possibility of change.  They can’t imagine anything better, or that the crisis they are in at that moment could have any solution whatsoever.  It’s as if they are so entrenched in the small, narrow view they’re holding that they cannot see the forest for the trees.

The best course of action I have found to help is to introduce some “give” in their perspective.  To relax a tiny bit, to allow a glimmer of light into the dark forest, or to have some small amount of slack in the rope that is binding them into knots of anxiety and stress…is the very best way to unravel the knot.

The question to ask is, “Would you be WILLING to have a solution present itself?”  And of course, this willingness is usually just enough to give the universe an opening to work with.  Simultaneously, it is harmless enough for someone to agree to be willing, rather than to commit to finding a solution.  If you have to find it yourself, and you can’t even imagine it ever getting better, how could you agree to that?  You couldn’t.  BUT…you might be WILLING to agree that there MIGHT be a possibility that you don’t know of. 

Willingness is a crucial step in bringing possibilities of a brand new creation that our little minds cannot conceive of, but that the Divine Mind is aligning in perfect and elegant timing.

I leave you with today’s lesson to consider.  If you are stuck in a challenge, or you desire something so seemingly out of your realm of imagination, use the tool of willingness.  Say to yourself, “I am willing to be open to a new possibility.” 

What’s The Big Deal About Gratitude?

December 11, 2010

There’s a lot of talk about gratitude these days, from Oprah to books on the subject, to whole courses on the topic.  I have wondered if I could define the role gratitude plays in happiness, and until now I was confused about how to explain it.

A long time ago,  I did a course where a piece of our homework for one month was to write a thousand gratitudes.  I wrote and I wrote, and then I found myself stymied, thinking that I had run out of them after a few hundred.  It occurred to me that there were things so small that I took for granted, like eyelashes or pebbles, and for a few pages my list became hyper-focused on the tiniest stuff of life.

An amazing thing happened as I continued with the process…you’ve probably guessed it…I began to see my life through new eyes.  Every thing from the fact that I could breathe to the glass in my windows, from someone saying good morning to having a clean sheet of paper to write on…it all began to take on a new and incredible magic.  What was once neglected was suddenly my reason for rejoicing, and my joy grew.  My appreciation of life grew, and the appreciation was seemingly contagious.  People smiled at me more, gifts came my way, and money began to flow into my life more easefully.

It wasn’t all rosy, though.  There were still the things in life that irritated me, the people that annoyed or upset me, and the physical maladies that can sometimes plague us all.  But through my practice of gratitude, these upsetting parts of life became more tolerable, more manageable, and passed more quickly.

It is truly a practice, this thing called gratitude.  It’s not our normal training as humans to look for the good, to find a reason to be ecstatic, or to see a challenge or tragedy as cause for celebration.  It’s a discipline for someone seeking mastery or enlightenment.

Mastery and enlightenment require a diligence in the face of contraction from aliveness.  Breathing, which is the energy of the life force animating the flesh suits we acquire at birth, is excellent training for this practice of enlightenment.  We breathe in…expand into life and love…and we exhale…contracting into the letting go of life, or dying…expanding and contracting.  Our very existence trains us to be masters of many things including non-attachment.  Gratitude for life would mean gratitude for ALL of it…not just the so called “good things” we can weed out of the mundane we tend to focus on, but even what we may deem “bad” or “undesirable”.

My gratitudes began to take a turn somewhere in the middle towards the end of a thousand.  I found that I wasn’t just grateful for the people who made me smile and feel warm and fuzzy, but I was downright on my knees grateful for those who pissed me off, who irritated my expectations, and who reflected the parts of myself I’d rather not look at.  I was grateful for pain…which had previously been something I avoided at all costs…because pain let me know I was alive, and pain was such a fantastic backdrop for pleasure.  I was grateful for the all of life, not just the tiny gratitudes that had poured from  my pen in a desperate attempt to complete the assignment.  My journey of a thousand gratitudes did not stop that year…or ever.  I carry that particular gratitude exercise, given to me by a true master of enlightenment, to this day with a profound gratitude to her and to the lessons of living life with my heart wide open.

How To Cook Anything Better

September 27, 2010

One thing I’ve learned that crosses all religious boundaries, that translates all hobbies into a blur, and that breaks exclusive barriers across the board is…love. This goes for cooking, knitting, pet care, raising children, scientific experiments, health, relationships, business, art, you name it.

My first mentor taught me metaphysics with some Buddhism thrown in for spice. She was the first person who whispered into my ear that when I chop vegetables, I need to thank them for giving their lives first. That information, because it seemed both bizarre and intriguing, stuck with me and I have diligently followed it to this day. Fifteen years later when I met my white tantric teacher, she taught me to chant mantras over my food, to never cook when I’m in a bad mood, and to find vegetables at the supermarket by touching them and feeling into their sentience and life energy. Then while cooking them, we would vibrate them even more with love and mantras, thereby improving the state of the planet through food.

I’ve found that these practices translate into all of life. For instance, we were also taught in Tantra that whatever we are creating will take on the vibration of our state. So if one is making a baby, be in a positive, spiritual state of mind. If one is knitting a sweater, one can chant prayers or mantras, intend love, and sing with each stitch. For business, when I’m writing a program, or sending out a newsletter, I pray, meditate for what to write, and fill myself with love and gratitude while I create. I intend love for all recipients, and the highest good for all outcomes.

This works for road trips, shopping, learning a new skill, eating a meal, and composting a garden. In fact, you can use this with kitchen witchery, which I do as well. The old rule of thumb when stirring food on the stove is to stir to the left to rid food of negative energy, and stir to the right to infuse good, positive things into the food. I’ve created many a meal in which people were uplifted before my eyes while ingesting what I ate. Have you ever gone out to eat and wondered why you left the restaurant feeling miserable, angry, or upset? It’s always good to consider that the chef may have been having a bad night. This is why blessing our food is so important before eating it.

I’m a firm proponent of blessings. Some might feel that they’re easy to come by, that they’re quite unnecessary, or that they don’t mean much. In my life, blessings are one of my most powerful tools. They impart grace, gratitude, hope and most of all, love. Blessing anything makes it so much better.


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