Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Are You Too Much, Not Enough, Or Just Plain Confused?

June 30, 2015

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Do you shrink yourself to be more pleasing?

Do you go blank when someone asks you what you want, or make something up in hopes it will turn out well?

Are you confused about why men don’t seem attracted to you, or do you miss the signals?

You’re not alone, sister.  So many of us are stymied by the crazy mixed messages we are bombarded with from the media, and even more importantly, by the way we’ve been trained to be silent, appeasing, and people pleasing.  It becomes a habit based in fear and self-preservation.

You don’t need this habit, but wow does it take hold when it’s reinforced by attitudes in the culture, commercials, and good old-fashioned female oppression.

The truth is that you are never too much, you’re always enough, and you know way more than you give yourself credit for, you goddess!  But how are you supposed to tap into this type of confidence, courage and savvy?

This is my specialty, and I have been through it for decades until I figured it out.  I was the ultimate people pleaser, good girl, quiet and polite lady who spent a whole lot of time battling depression, failed relationships, a failed marriage, and even abuse and rape.

My journey to wholeness began  very slowly, years before I realized I had a problem.  I was training in Law of Attraction and spiritual mysticism early on in my teens, and started my passion for attending transformational workshops in my twenties.  But it wasn’t enough to wipe out the low self-worth I was battling.  Brilliant teachings and trainings were wonderful, and I benefitted immensely, but they didn’t change the deepest core of my particular emotional and mental wounding.

The process of healing took me three decades and was a relentless search on my part, healing layer after layer after layer.  I went through what I would call a spiritual death in my early forties, and the journey back from that was through my ongoing intensive training in the Divine Feminine mysteries, wisewoman teachings, shamanic trainings, and decades of practicing tantric yoga.

I believe there is a reason for everything we experience, and that the soul is imbued with a Divine Plan in collaboration with our inherent desires for ecstasy.

What I offer you now as an elder is the full scope of all that I’ve learned and practiced over my lifetime.  One method doesn’t work for everyone, as you are a unique and wondrous creature with a path as intricate and distinct as a snowflake.  Every individual has their own story to be lived and liberated into an enlightened legend, and for most of us, the support and guidance of a wise teacher with many experiences and an array of skills is necessary.

My passion is to dive deep with women and peer into their souls, support them to fulfill their Divine Destiny with joy, love, and sensuality as their inherent birthright.

Blissings & Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Goddess Oceana is a certified Tantric Yoga Teacher, Shaman, and Women’s Empowerment Coach. If you’re a woman who wants to embrace your inner power to attract and create more money, and become a magnet to more positive relationships, go here for the free series, The Seven Goddess Secrets Every Modern Woman Must Know To Live In Passionate Pleasure now.

 

Self Love Makes Lotsa Love Kittens

April 20, 2013

kittens galore

The more we love ourselves, the more love we’re able to receive and the more love we can pour onto the world freely.  If you do the math, you’ll end up finding that self love multiplies like bunnies and kittens.

A calculator cannot add up the exponential and radical profusion of miraculous ripples of good that reverberate into the ethers and bounce back.  No miracle shelter could begin to hold the colossal volume of overflowing goodness babies that proliferate the population when a being practices self love.

Giving without expectation of reward is only possible if one has mastered self love.  One who cannot love themselves fully is tethered energetically with invisible iron cords of non-release and prosperity constipation. Gifting doesn’t happen.  What happens is unspoken bartering, gift wrapped with a bow.  The poor sucker receiving this package is now under scrutiny.

This type of sad affair causes all manner of unappreciated gifts, unfulfilled expectations, and even some outright victimization, illnesses, and swampy nose dives of despair. Among other things, it’s just tight and contracted.  Ouch.  Love can barely squeeze in and love can barely squeeze out.  Suffering ensues.

The antidote for all of this is to do the unthinkable.  Overdose with self love lubricant.  It’s what society tells us is selfish, what mama taught us good girls don’t do, and what we feel like we should be hiding. We need to overdose, because we’re sorely lacking and because when one is malnourished, drastic measures are necessary.

We need high potency self love, pleasure breaks, bubble baths, treats, hugs, massages, laughter, happy movies, snuggling and cuddles, sweet smelling stuff, dancing wild, sleeping naked on satin sheets, crying in a pair of strong and loving arms, letting someone brush our hair, lounging around doing absolutely nothing while sipping expensive liquids, or what. ever. it. takes. We need sessions of proclaiming our gratitude for every single thing we see in the mirror from a hang nail to the curve of our cheek.

People, this is an international emergency.  Self love is the red cross of getting off the cross and caring for the only one that is right here in this moment.  You.

~Oceana LeBlanc is a transformational leader, women’s empowerment coach, tantric yogini, and shaman.

http://www.goddessoceana.com

Killer Queen, Are You Ready to Dynamite Your Upper Limits with a Laser Beam?

July 12, 2012

She’s a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

~Queen

The line from this song is finally in the right time and the right place on planet earth, thanks to the futuristic super powers of Freddy Mercury.  Is your upper limit so shallow you can barely get your toes wet in the abundant waters of self love, empowerment, receiving, succeeding, or whatever else you desire? Or is it up to your knees?   I’m realizing that the tide seems to go in and out on mine depending on the time of the month and the season.  Inspired by an article in Forbes by Barbara Stanny,  I realized that my upper limit keeps moving up and down, and this is why it might be so difficult for me to pinpoint and break through sometimes.

As a woman, the cycles of the month have every bit as much to do with how I work at my business as anything else, and it seems to deserve some attention before it takes me down.  I used to worry about the possibility of having to work when I was crampy, bloated, and feeling miserable.  There was good reason for this, because I had a history of chowing down up to six Advil at a time just to be able to walk every month.  I would pray that my cycle would land on the weekend, because there was no leeway in my employment terms that stated I was entitled to two days a month off with paid menstrual leave.  My fantasy was that I would own my own business some day and schedule my life around that time of the month, and bask on the couch, do some deep and necessary dreaming, keep the rice pack warm, and sip herbal tea.

Now that I finally have my own business, I’m also in menopause and I never know when that time will occur.  I’ve tried for the last few years to schedule my life around it, to no avail.  When I have a big event, my cycle mysteriously shifts as if it’s an event seeking missile aimed at destroying every single attempt at a great presentation or an enthusiastic networking experience.  A force greater than my good intentions to stretch my upper limits is at work here, I am convinced.   It’s not necessarily bad, but it’s clearly vying for my full attention.

So what does Gay Hendrick’s famous upper limiting theory have to do with my period? It has caused me to consider that owning my vulnerability and surrendering to what is present in my life is actually a way for me to stretch my upper limit.  I see that I have this belief about not being able to function when I’m bleeding, but it goes deeper than that.  This is about stretching in a feminine way and not necessarily in the higher, bigger, better, super-sized way we assume when we think of upper limits, success mindsets, and goal setting.

The new paradigm of honoring the power of the feminine has taught me there’s an internal power I hold that I didn’t know about before.  It’s a capacity to go much deeper and to stretch down into the womb for intuitive wisdom.  Instead of raising the upper limit ceiling, it’s a trip into the antique basement. It’s a quiet, messy, stirring, chaotic, fierce power that’s been repressed for ages, and I hold that it’s time for us to own it, explore it, and agree with it.  Women have the capacity to see the future, know things we have no business knowing just because we feel it in our bones, and we have a force greater than nuclear power laying mostly dormant perched between our thighs.

I’ve spent the last decade target shooting with this power and I hit more bulls eyes every time.  Observation, research, and discipline hone mastery, so I’m well on my way to China via my basement.  Will I crack my upper limits down there?  I dunno.  One thing I can tell you with complete certainty, though,  is that simply because I’m a woman, I’m “…dynamite with a laser beam, guaranteed to blow your mind.” (~Queen)

If you’d like some help with honing your feminine power, go here and I’ll hook you up with a free introductory session.

Blissings & Blessings,

Oceana

http://www.goddessoceana.com

http://www.forbes.com/sites/barbarastanny/2012/07/11/the-1-reason-we-self-sabotage/

http://www.thebigleap.net/

http://www.musictory.com/music/Queen

Getting What You Want With Celebration

July 9, 2011

Celebration is an act of energetic, enthusiastic agreement with what has just transpired.  It can also be a way to rev up your engine for something you haven’t seen yet, but are determined is coming. It’s a high energy way of getting into agreement with what is.

I encourage my clients to make a big, huge deal about every tiny iota of good stuff coming their way.  The truth is, if you don’t notice the good stuff, it just dwindles.

A well known prosperity principle, metaphysical truth, and universal rule is that we attract whatever we focus on.

So, my friends, if you are focusing so much on what you don’t want, on what went wrong, and on what you don’t have that you wish you did…you are, in essence, creating a boatload more of that same un~havingness.

This is a simple concept, and yet can be difficult to practice without like-minded people around.  It helps to have them there to gently remind you if you forget.   You might find a friend or two that are working on the same disciplines, and commit to cheering each other on.

My spiritual guidance packages are geared towards keeping people on track with their desires, encouraging them in a light-hearted and fun way to remember how to be open to good and to focus on what they want more of.  We actually celebrate together on a regular basis, creating a habit of a celebratory and grateful attitude.

Celebration is KEY, in my professional opinion, to creating enormous good stuff in your life.

Grab a like~minded friend and celebrate something that went right, something you were given, something good today.  It can be as small as finding a dollar bill, or as large as a promotion…it doesn’t matter.

Make a habit out of celebration and notice what happens.

 

What’s The Big Deal About Gratitude?

December 11, 2010

There’s a lot of talk about gratitude these days, from Oprah to books on the subject, to whole courses on the topic.  I have wondered if I could define the role gratitude plays in happiness, and until now I was confused about how to explain it.

A long time ago,  I did a course where a piece of our homework for one month was to write a thousand gratitudes.  I wrote and I wrote, and then I found myself stymied, thinking that I had run out of them after a few hundred.  It occurred to me that there were things so small that I took for granted, like eyelashes or pebbles, and for a few pages my list became hyper-focused on the tiniest stuff of life.

An amazing thing happened as I continued with the process…you’ve probably guessed it…I began to see my life through new eyes.  Every thing from the fact that I could breathe to the glass in my windows, from someone saying good morning to having a clean sheet of paper to write on…it all began to take on a new and incredible magic.  What was once neglected was suddenly my reason for rejoicing, and my joy grew.  My appreciation of life grew, and the appreciation was seemingly contagious.  People smiled at me more, gifts came my way, and money began to flow into my life more easefully.

It wasn’t all rosy, though.  There were still the things in life that irritated me, the people that annoyed or upset me, and the physical maladies that can sometimes plague us all.  But through my practice of gratitude, these upsetting parts of life became more tolerable, more manageable, and passed more quickly.

It is truly a practice, this thing called gratitude.  It’s not our normal training as humans to look for the good, to find a reason to be ecstatic, or to see a challenge or tragedy as cause for celebration.  It’s a discipline for someone seeking mastery or enlightenment.

Mastery and enlightenment require a diligence in the face of contraction from aliveness.  Breathing, which is the energy of the life force animating the flesh suits we acquire at birth, is excellent training for this practice of enlightenment.  We breathe in…expand into life and love…and we exhale…contracting into the letting go of life, or dying…expanding and contracting.  Our very existence trains us to be masters of many things including non-attachment.  Gratitude for life would mean gratitude for ALL of it…not just the so called “good things” we can weed out of the mundane we tend to focus on, but even what we may deem “bad” or “undesirable”.

My gratitudes began to take a turn somewhere in the middle towards the end of a thousand.  I found that I wasn’t just grateful for the people who made me smile and feel warm and fuzzy, but I was downright on my knees grateful for those who pissed me off, who irritated my expectations, and who reflected the parts of myself I’d rather not look at.  I was grateful for pain…which had previously been something I avoided at all costs…because pain let me know I was alive, and pain was such a fantastic backdrop for pleasure.  I was grateful for the all of life, not just the tiny gratitudes that had poured from  my pen in a desperate attempt to complete the assignment.  My journey of a thousand gratitudes did not stop that year…or ever.  I carry that particular gratitude exercise, given to me by a true master of enlightenment, to this day with a profound gratitude to her and to the lessons of living life with my heart wide open.

7 Romantic Ways to Rock Your Relationship

October 1, 2010

One of the ways we fall into a rut in our long term relationships is by ignoring the romance factor.  It’s not our fault, but it is our responsibility if we want to keep the sparks sparkling and the flame burning.  You may not want to hear this for various reasons, such as resenting the fact that you have to be the one to do something to generate it, or wishing your partner would take a clue from the fairytales and just BE romantic and charming.

The fact that you want to read an article like this one is very hopeful, though!  You have scored a big sparkling star just for your curiosity and willingness to entertain your imagination with ideas about romantic rockingness.  The prerequisite for the forthcoming effort is to acknowledge yourself for wanting to try.  Going into this endeavor with some compassion and love for yourself will magnify your results.  Cool, huh?!

Here are some surefire ways to rock it, roll it, and have a second helping:

1.     For a couple of weeks, decide that you are going to be generous and kind without the attitude.  You’re reaching deep into magnanimity and holiness, and you’re being kind because it just plain feels good in so many ways.

2.     Start treating your lover as a stranger.  Find this suggestion strange?  It’s actually a brilliant move.  Have you ever noticed how polite you are to other people publicly, but once you get home, the hair comes down and the taking your partner for granted habit takes over?  Practice being incredibly polite to your partner.  Use the magic word, and say thank you. Offer a bite first.  Say excuse me rather than “mooooove”.

3.     Get a girlfriend to swap romantic ideas with you.  Have a full out brainstorming session with each other and see how many new ideas you can each come up with.  Go home and try the ones you like best once a week for a month.

4.     Schedule (don’t groan, scheduling works!) an evening or morning alone with your lover.  Do whatever you need to do in advance that will make this time stress free, i.e. order out rather than cook, set the coffeepot timer on the night before, make sure the kids are at a sleepover or in bed already.  Tell your partner that this time is going to be for you to give your total attention to him to remind him of how much he’s loved.  Tell each other the top five things you miss that you used to do together when you first met, and then brainstorm to see how you can bring some of that back now.

5.     Give your partner a ‘love wash’.  This is not the kind of wash you think it is.  I’m talking about having your partner sit in a chair across from you and spending three full minutes telling him every single thing you adore, love, appreciate, cherish, and are grateful for about him.  Allow him to reciprocate if he’d like to, but don’t expect or demand it this first time.  You can tell him this is a practice session, and that you’d love it if he’d be willing to take turns doing this with   you daily for a week. Credit for this one goes to Harville Hendrix, superb relationship expert.

6.     Spontaneously chat online with your lover when you’re both on your computers.  There’s something very sexy and fun about writing to each other, and things are communicated that are sometimes difficult to say in person.  Send love notes and sexy thoughts, and plan a rendezvous for that night.

7.     Trade romantic setups with another couple.  Each couple takes a turn setting up a fantastic meal complete with wine, flowers, table setting, romantic lighting, candles, love notes, fresh sheets, beautiful massage oil, romantic music, and whatever else your imagination can cook up.  They get to enjoy just experiencing this amazing dinner at home complete with romantic touches, and then they set one up for the both of you at another time.  You’ll find you’re excited creating romance for someone else, and it gets you feeling romantically appreciative of your partner as well.

There you have it.  Even if you choose only one tip, you are taking the steps towards evoking romance, and even a drop of romance is worth the effort, wouldn’t you agree?

~Goddess Oceana, author of forthcoming book, Ecstatic Quotes From the Goddess, Empowerment and Intimacy Coach, sensual wise woman, and enlightenment guide.

http://www.goddessoceana.com

What Women Desire In A Man

June 25, 2010

Lately people have been asking me to give men an idea of how to relate to women.  In their words, they want to learn how to treat a Goddess.  I’ve put some thought into it for quite a while, and have come up with some basic pointers that I think every woman out there would appreciate, and that would also make a huge difference for men who are really trying to figure women out.

  1. Your Unique Gift. Knowing what your own gift is, what you bring to the world is a complete turn on for an intelligent woman.  If you are clear about what your strengths are, and have a desire to bring this gift to the world for the upliftment and betterment of the world as a whole, you are scoring some big points in the attractiveness sector.  For a woman to respect and admire the man she is with, there has to be something that he contributes to the world that is larger than the relationship.
  2. Acknowledgment. They want to be acknowledged deeply.  Learning to see a woman’s innate unique gift, and how to acknowledge her for it will be like a breath of fresh air for any woman who’s been waiting her whole life for a man with this ability.  A woman blossoms before your eyes when you shower her with genuine and authentic appreciation.  
  3. Trust. Most women are taught to be careful and safe around men…and for good reason!  There are too many predators out there taking advantage of unwitting women, and so knowing how to build trust with a woman is KEY.  Keep your word,  treat her with great respect, behave like a gentleman with good manners, and show her that you are caring for her in small ways.  Look out for her safety.  Also, if you’re going to be late, have the good sense to call ahead and let her know.  Imagine how you would want your daughter, if you had one,  to be treated by a man, and aspire to treat the woman you’re with with that same care.
  4. Connection. Women want a strong man who is self assured and has high confidence and self worth…who knows how to connect with her on an emotional and intuitive level.  This takes some practice for some men in active listening, repeating some of the things she says when she is expressing her emotions, and looking into her eyes.  It requires a type of listening where you are not thinking of what you are going to say next, but rather memorizing what she is saying so that you could repeat it back word for word…it’s hard work.  Trust me that if you can repeat back some of the important points of what she is saying, not only will she feel deeply heard, but you will find that you’re hearing things that you would never have heard about her.  You’ll be hearing things that will tell you how she wants to be treated, and this goes a long way in learning the road map to her devotion to you.
  5. Sense of Humor. A sincere appreciation of the joy and humor in life, and the ability to laugh at yourself without behaving like a child is key to finding a great partner and especially key to a lasting and joy filled relationship.  The kind of humor you display is crucial, as gross or sarcastic humor is highly undesirable.  These reveal immaturity and an unkind spirit, both of which don’t build respect or admiration.  Endearing humor is so healing, and a man who can lighten a situation by bringing the levity of gentle wit or happy humor is a gift.  Studies show that couples who laugh together stay together.
  6. Sensuality. Notice I didn’t say sexuality.  This is perhaps the most important thing to be aware of with a woman.  If a man jumps to crude sexual overtures too fast, he will receive either a strong slap or the woman will simply disappear, leaving you to wonder why she doesn’t respond to your texts.   Women operate in a completely opposite way from men when it comes to sexuality, and so the way to romance yourself into her embrace is to start from a distance with subtlety and plenty of time, very gently working your way towards her as she relaxes more and more into the security and safety of your authentic caring.  Understand that her whole body and soul are sensual zones.  A woman is a walking nerve ending whose purpose is pleasure, and if you simply focus on grabbing the most centrally arousing points first,  you will send her into sensory overload, otherwise displayed as repulsion, fear, discomfort, and withdrawal.  A sexual encounter in a committed relationship begins 48 hours in advance, with flowers and romance!  Imagine how much longer it takes in a new dating situation.  Just the way a man holds a woman’s hand can be foreplay, and this cannot be overstated.  Take your time and relish the experiences that lead to the culmination of love and trust built over time.  I realize that this is a new way of approaching sex in this day and age, but would you rather have a microwaved take out dinner or a skillfully crafted, five course gourmet meal?  Quality over quantity ensures longevity, and you can quote me.  Be the king she has been waiting for…the one who recognizes and compliments her inner queen.

Of course, there is so much more to explain and various ways to practice these skills.  Most importantly is not to approach all of this with a feeling of having failed thus far.  When women are empowered and taught how to express what they want, men don’t have to guess and they can come out winning.  The point is that for far too long, women have been told from a very young age not to engage with their sensual natures, and so they often don’t even know how to express what will feel good.  It is no one’s fault, and we can start from where we are right now.

If we can all be patient with each other and begin to learn new ways of engaging, open ourselves up to greater levels of compassion and hope, and approach relationships with authentic respect, the whole world will heal.  I believe that what women desire in a man is well within reach for most men, and that once the trust and respect are in place, relationships have a bright future.


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