Posts Tagged ‘introspection’

Self Love Is Mandatory

April 17, 2013

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Spring is here and I long to plunge my fingers and toes into the rich dirt.  I take in the fresh  breeze filled with new and familiar scents, and sit in sun rays on the deck absorbing the warm light as I sip my coffee.  

With tear stained cheeks from an outpouring of my heart over the recent Boston tragedies, I ponder how my life in this moment can be so sublime in contrast.  I remember the many times when personal crisis has brought me to my knees, and yet when I looked around, the rest of the world continued on seemingly unaffected.

I have tested the icy waters of human indifference firsthand to see if I could evoke a response.  Once in a moment of utter desperation and profound shock, I drove to a beach in the winter and walked into the icy ocean up to my neck, coat, boots, mittens and all.  People were on the beach and sitting in their cars enjoying the ocean view.  No one stopped me and no one reacted, even as I came to my senses and  backed out of the water and slowly made my way back to the car.  

Frozen, dripping wet, weeping, and stunned at my own actions and the devastation that had driven me to it, I realized that I had come into this world vulnerable and alone, and that I would likely leave that way as well.  Others might show up from time to time and reach out to support and assist, but ultimately I had to love myself.  No one else could do it for me.

I would spend the next twenty years of my life in a relentless pursuit of learning to love myself.  As a self love ninja, I’ve learned that a desire for something outside of the realm of what we have will continue to bring us to our knees in ways we could never anticipate.  With enough playtime in the sandbox of conscious manifestation, however, one begins to learn the terrain.  Often, even what is completely tragic and unexpected brings about gifts that are inexpressible, unexplainable, and forever mysterious.  What separates self lovers from self haters in this realm is, among other things, the rate of recovery and the willingness to let go.

At this point I pride myself with laser clarity about what I am desiring, and eagle eyes that spot the seemingly chaotic signs along the way for what they are.  Pits and blows that could easily be mistaken for failure by a neophyte are welcomed.  

The ability to love myself is now one of my super powers, not to be mistaken for fluff. It is what enables me to love others with outrageous authenticity, to see life from a myriad of gorgeous angles, and to live my unique full potential.  Super powered self love makes recovering from devastating interludes like a cup of coffee on a sunlit deck in springtime and another french kiss in the ecstasy that is life.

~Oceana LeBlanc is a women’s empowerment coach, tantric yogini, and shaman

http://www.goddessoceana.com

Tips To Wake Up Your Relationship

June 29, 2012

These are some tips off the tippy top of my head this morning that will spice things up.  You can do these alone or enroll the help of friends, or you can forget about it and keep complaining that you’re bored, neglected, angry, resentful, whatever your gig is.  I have no attachment but I would like you to thoroughly feel your feelings first before trying any of these.  Feel them full out.  Trying to repress and deny them out of a sense of being good isn’t going to work, as it will only sublimate the emotions and they’ll end up coming out sideways later.  Instead, have your feelings in a safe, supportive environment, and then when you are fresh and ready to give something a try, give these tips a shot.

  1. Get naked and massage yourself all over with your favorite lotion or body oil.       Make sure it’s something that smells delicious and take your time, enjoying every stroke.  You may wonder how this will wake up your relationship since it’s about you.  That’s the key, though.  This is about waking up your relationship to yourself, which will show up everywhere else automatically.  Cool, huh?!
  1. Think of something you used to love to do that you haven’t done in a long time.  Remember how amazing it was?  Now get out your calendar and schedule time for yourself to do it again. This is refueling time where you will be filling yourself up with so much great attention that you will overflow the juice to the one you love spontaneously if you make it a practice.
  1.  Close your eyes and imagine yourself receiving some really wonderful texts or emails telling you how amazing you are, what you love most about you, what your favorite features are, how in love you are with you…and then quickly compose a short email to yourself saying exactly those things.
  1. Now think up four things you absolutely love and adore about your partner.  Write them down.  Text one to him in the morning and one at night for two consecutive days…or do one a day for four days, your choice.
  1. Write out ten things you appreciate about your partner every day for a week.  This single practice transformed my relationship in a flash.  Try it.
  1. If you are home before your partner gets home from work, make sure you greet him like you would greet a favorite friend.  After all, this person committed their entire lifetime to a relationship with you!
  1. Hard, introspective, advanced tip:  Determine the one thing about your spouse that is bugging you the most lately.  Now, get cross legged on a meditation cushion with incense, a lit candle, and some new age music.  Close your eyes and breathe through your nose, deeply into your heart space.  Imagine them doing the thing they do that you cannot tolerate because it makes you want to erase your wedding from time.  Now, instead of them doing it, imagine yourself doing it.  Look very closely at ways in which you do this to yourself.  You’ll most likely need to dig very deep for this.  Once you see how you do this, own it and surround yourself in a pink bubble of love.  Forgive yourself and send out angel waves of gratitude to your spouse for showing you what to heal inside of yourself.
  1. Last tip of the day…do something different.  If you never order take out, order it and make it fun.  (If you always order it, consider cooking a homemade meal).  If you never initiate sex, try it.  If you do everything perfectly, do some stuff imperfectly on purpose.  If you never finish anything, pick three things to complete and just DO them till utter completion.  Find something in your life that you can shake up and wake up and see what happens.

Would love to hear how these tips worked out for you. Remember, anything that wakes you up will wake up your relationship, because we are all reflections of each other.  If you have your own great tip, please feel free to share it with us here.

Goddess Oceana

http://www.goddessoceana.com


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