Posts Tagged ‘positive’

Banish Overwhelm From Your Queendom

June 7, 2014
 
 
I was speaking with a very dear friend this morning about our strategies for simplifying our lives, being more present, and banishing overwhelm.  It was a great convo where we each had our own practices to share, and so we ended up with a synergy of amazing tools.  Naturally, I thought it would be great to share them with you.  Love it, right?!
 
So here’s the deal.  Living a life of presence as an embodied goddess doesn’t mean you’re not expanding, growing, and learning.  It means that you come from a place of grounded empowerment, and that when you waver, you have the skills handy to bring yourself back into presence again.  We’re also naturally designed  to have divergent awareness.  We’re most often multi~tasking and feeling all of our surroundings calling for our goddessly attention.  We have the deliciously expansive view.  This is a beautiful thing about us.  
 
The problem occurs when we are pulled into too much conflicting divergence with old, worn~out patterns of trying to be nice and saying yes to every request.  We don’t think to ask for support and some of us haven’t learned how to say no.  We may not know how to do a certain thing and we’re too afraid of rejection to ask anyone.  Maybe we don’t know how to articulate something in a way that allows us to delegate.   Overwhelm happens when our natural proclivity as goddesses goes from choice to pleasing mode.  Our people~pleasing servant self takes control, and the goddessly aligned self reclines on her chaise lounge and sleeps.

 
That was the explanation, but now for the nitty~gritty, “how to reign it in” skills…
 
1.  When you notice you’re feeling overwhelmed, stop.  Just STOP what you’re doing for a minute.  Close your eyes and breathe in through your nose slowly, exhaling deeply, a few times.  This calms your nervous system and gives the madness a commercial break.
 
2.  Choose the ONE task at hand that you are doing.  Slow it down and see it through to completion.   Command the others to take a back seat until you finish.
 
3.  Reframe your self~blame.  Whatever your mind is freaking out about, it can wait.  Create a new story.  If you’re running late, decide you have perfect timing and that you can only get there when you get there. (Besides, the party doesn’t ever really start until you arrive.)  If the problem is that you’ve crammed 20 tasks into a day and can’t get them all done, choose three and call it a day well done.  Determine to give yourself larger time frames from now on.
 
4.  DELEGATE.  If you can delegate even a part of your task, call someone and request a specific action that will take the load off of you.  If you’re not sure how, start with one simple task that is easy to do and easy to articulate.  Then you can begin to build on that muscle next time. You’re not superwoman, you are a goddess.  Goddesses don’t do it all themselves. They are like queens, delegating, leading the kingdom.  You rule the temple, darling goddess!
 
5.  Start a spiritual practice a few minutes a day.  Make a promise to yourself.  Tiny, little disciplines really do build on themselves, and every drop matters. Don’t wait until you have one hour a day, or the perfect expanse of time.  Just.  Do. Something.  Mindful breathing, a beautiful prayer, one yoga pose, light a candle…you get the idea.  Anything done with applied, positive intention is a goddessly act of spiritual devotion.  Connecting with your spiritual center is the first breakthrough to alignment.
 
Over time, these habits will become second nature and overwhelm will occur less and less.  I know you can do it!
 
Would love to hear how these land for you, what works, and if you have any reports from the field.
 
~Goddess Oceana
 

Appreciate Your Flaws

July 3, 2012

Self care and self love require practice and willingness.  I’ve become better and better at taking time for myself, admitting that it’s necessary, and really enjoying it when I do.  Getting to this place is hard for many people, especially in our acquisition focused culture.  Do more, get more, and you earn the right to be more.  In truth, they have this backwards.  It all starts with being, and in order to just be, we require a certain amount of self love.  Without it, being is impossibly uncomfortable.

I notice that loving myself is easier when I’m more relaxed, feeling more pleasure in my life, and taking time to care for myself.  Having a daily spiritual practice is also another way of connecting to my center, loving myself, and filling up so that I am giving from a full place rather than a needy one.  Still, lately it felt like I wasn’t completely full, and was very surprised to notice some negative self talk I was hearing.

What I realized today is that I’m great at acknowledging what my gifts and skills are because I’ve consciously practiced doing so for years.  The place where I get caught up is in appreciating and loving the ways in which I’m not so skilled, not so perfect, not so talented.  There’s a difference here, where I saw that I could accentuate the positive and love myself up, while subtly avoiding what I deemed negative.

I think the real healing begins when we are able to love and adore the parts of ourselves that we fear others will find repulsive, the awkward parts, the places where we hold judgment about who we are.

My new self care practice is to find something about myself each and every day that my mind tells me is ugly, not good enough, lazy, stupid, silly, embarrassing, or bad…and then focus all of my love on that thing with all my heart.  I’m on a flaw finding mission, to love and embrace the ones I locate until they’re just more beautiful flowers in the garden of all that is me.


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