Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

All Those Lonely Men

December 15, 2017

lonely man

 

“This is for all the lonely people.”
I saw an elderly woman in a waiting room the other day. She was having a great time chatting everyone up. At first, people were giving her the side-eye, wondering if she was normal or a bit crazy, talking to all those strangers as if she were there friend.
Soon, though, one person began to warm up to her and responded, and they started talking. Others looked curious.
After a while, everyone was smiling and relaxing more in their chairs.
The scenario struck me as familiar in how I tend to move through the world, fortunate to have been raised by a mother who treated everyone as if they were her children. She was outgoing and friendly, and really didn’t think anything of talking to people around her. With that role model ( and often included in the conversations as a child) I find that I am the same way.


During this holiday season, it saddens me to think of so many who have no one to celebrate with, or who are experiencing such deep loss or suffering that the celebrations around them only seem to compound the loneliness.


I heard yesterday from Dr. Christiane Northrup who was doing a video, that men are 4% more likely to commit suicide, and 50% of men do not have a single close friend to talk to (from the Mask of Masculinity by Louis Howes).

It was quite shocking to me, that number.  I began to think about how much easier it seems for many women to create community around themselves, with that gatherer mentality. So I’m wanting to encourage men to reach out if they’re feeling isolated.
I have the honor of men writing to me, in my line of work, who are sincerely expressing their feelings and transparently tell me of their struggles. I feel especially humbled that they courageously risk and reach out, in a culture that does not encourage emotional transparency in males.
I opened my work to men recently, because although women’s empowerment has been my focus, I now realize that my original purpose of healing the feminine does not preclude men, but includes the feminine in all of us.
This morning, I’m thinking about how all of us, men and women, can stretch a little further into reaching out with caring and sensitivity to others during the holidays.
After all, we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Would love to hear from you in the comments.  What are some ways that you reach out or don’t reach out, and

~ Goddess Oceana

www.GoddessOceana.com

https://www.facebook.com/GoddessOceana/

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Stuck in a Rut of Depression

December 8, 2017

rut

Someone recently said to me that she wanted to “transcend the mundane” and felt she was stuck in a rut of old, unhealthy patterns and dysfunction.  I thought about times when I was stuck and how it used to play out for me, and how it plays out now that I have almost forty years of deep personal work under my belt.

There’s a very clear difference.  Thirty-eight years ago, I knew I was at cause, but didn’t have the tools or skills necessary to understand the nuances of how to pull myself out, other than affirmations and an image board, journaling, and self-blame.  Way back then, I wasn’t as clear about how to distinguish being at cause about my entire reality versus being to blame for my entire reality.

So blaming myself when I couldn’t figure out how to make things better was my recourse, and it would spiral into the most excruciating depression, hopelessness, and longing to just make the pain stop…even fantasizing about and then attempting suicide.

Somehow my will to keep learning and persevering on the path of various transformational modalities began to pay off, and I got better at finding strategies to get myself aligned again.  The greatest learning about depression for me was to own my anger, my rage, my upset, and master how to express my boundaries in a safe and grounded way.  Once I began to express my anger by making requests of others that honored my newly discovered boundaries, I stopped turning my anger towards myself.

This took time, practice, and mistakes.  I failed a lot, and then learned from the failures.  I made a little progress each time.  Life began to improve, and as I stopped making other people’s wants far more important than my needs, I became a happier person. That’s one small  example of how I overcame a debilitating rut.

The various skills I’ve learned over the years I’ve tested repeatedly, and I continue to acquire more.  Mostly, I’ve come to realize that I love to learn, and so I honor that by diving into learning whatever it is I find fascinating.  It just so happens that all of it is in the realm of spirituality, transformation, psychology, relationship, sexuality, and esoteric studies.

The ruts I see my clients stuck in most often are the ruts of people-pleasing, not keeping their word (a basic tenet for becoming more powerful is to keep your word), a habit of putting other people first and getting lost in overwhelm, and or finding an old pattern of behavior they’re stuck in and not getting the energy healing necessary to break free from it.  These are all ways in which we sabotage ourselves, especially as women.

The good news is that self-love is the super vitamin that can make all healing possible, and it improves our lives dramatically.  And so I start there, with daily practices that infuse self-love and self-worth that begin to lift a person immediately from whatever rut they’re in.  Then we get into some nitty gritty pattern shifts and healing work.

Whatever rut you’re in, begin with self-love.  You can start by telling yourself that you love you very much, each and every day.  It can be that simple.  Let that love into your heart and feel it wrap around you like a soft, warm blanket.  Do it often and out loud.

Here’s to Loving You,

Goddess Oceana

Message me to schedule a fifteen minute call to find out how to work with me to live a happier, more fulfilling life.  I help women connect deeply to their inner spiritual guidance and become the sensual, powerful goddess they were meant to be while co-creating their deepest desires with the universe.

Email me:  Oceana@GoddessOceana.com

 

 

How Do You Meet Desire?

August 31, 2017
woman at sea, milia poirier
What do you deeply desire in your life that you don’t have?
What are you willing to do to have it?
I asked the universe for something and instead of immediate delivery, I received some powerful reflections that were painful for me.
This is often the case when we say we desire something, and are calling it into our reality.
We must become a match for that thing before it can come to us. Honestly, if we’re wondering why we don’t have what we want yet, it’s almost always because we haven’t made internal or external space for it, or because we aren’t in alignment with it in some way.
I am in such gratitude today for that discomfort I felt yesterday. Rather than choose to be a victim about it, which is the status quo for many who don’t realize their own power yet, I chose to look at the message, where I was responsible, and what I could do to further align myself to that juicy manifestation I wanted so much.
I allowed the Universe to speak to me, informing me in experiences of what needed to be overhauled before I could receive my desire.
Some powerful questions for the courageous manifester:
Where am I responsible in my ways of being, doing, thinking, and talking, that generated reflections of what I did not want?
What parts of this are in my control, and how can I shift my thinking or my way of showing up in the world that will align with what I do desire?
Is this a door closing because another better fit is beckoning? If so, am I grateful for the redirection, with open heart and joyful receiving for my true desires?
Do I truly want it, or am I just kind of wanting it? How powerful is my fire for this thing, and am I willing to do whatever it takes to meet the universe with action?
Is this a pattern when I review other times when there has been a similar feeling around a situation? If so, what is that pattern, what takes place, and how am I perpetuating it? How can I change this?
These are some questions that evoke the kinds of internal changes necessary for a powerful manifestation, the internal dialogue that will make the difference between having what you want and giving up, or blaming someone else that you can’t get it.
There are many ways to manifest, and many subtleties to the art of manifestation, and many schools of thought and discipline for it.
I pull from a great variety of those schools of thought in my work with people, integrating the tools that will resonate with the personality and level of experience. It’s always a unique co-creation to support someone in realizing their desires and expanding their soul’s growth edges.
Currently, I’m thinking about ways that I can support more women to hone their manifesting skills and really BE in their power.  I can only do so many one on one, personalized sessions with women.  So how can I bring these skills to those of you who can’t work with me privately for one reason or another?
My friend told me I should coach a group of women together, and I listened.
So I’m launching a coaching group for women who want something and haven’t been able to manifest it.
I’m excited about this, and can’t wait to share more about Divine Feminine Manifestation Mojo!
Stay tuned, Goddess.  More is coming very soon…
Love, Blissings, & Goddess Blessings,
Goddess Oceana
To work with me, email me at GoddessOceana@gmail.com and we’ll set up a 15 minute discovery session to see what I offer that will best serve you.
Photo Credit: Milia Poirier

How To Cook Anything Better

September 27, 2010

One thing I’ve learned that crosses all religious boundaries, that translates all hobbies into a blur, and that breaks exclusive barriers across the board is…love. This goes for cooking, knitting, pet care, raising children, scientific experiments, health, relationships, business, art, you name it.

My first mentor taught me metaphysics with some Buddhism thrown in for spice. She was the first person who whispered into my ear that when I chop vegetables, I need to thank them for giving their lives first. That information, because it seemed both bizarre and intriguing, stuck with me and I have diligently followed it to this day. Fifteen years later when I met my white tantric teacher, she taught me to chant mantras over my food, to never cook when I’m in a bad mood, and to find vegetables at the supermarket by touching them and feeling into their sentience and life energy. Then while cooking them, we would vibrate them even more with love and mantras, thereby improving the state of the planet through food.

I’ve found that these practices translate into all of life. For instance, we were also taught in Tantra that whatever we are creating will take on the vibration of our state. So if one is making a baby, be in a positive, spiritual state of mind. If one is knitting a sweater, one can chant prayers or mantras, intend love, and sing with each stitch. For business, when I’m writing a program, or sending out a newsletter, I pray, meditate for what to write, and fill myself with love and gratitude while I create. I intend love for all recipients, and the highest good for all outcomes.

This works for road trips, shopping, learning a new skill, eating a meal, and composting a garden. In fact, you can use this with kitchen witchery, which I do as well. The old rule of thumb when stirring food on the stove is to stir to the left to rid food of negative energy, and stir to the right to infuse good, positive things into the food. I’ve created many a meal in which people were uplifted before my eyes while ingesting what I ate. Have you ever gone out to eat and wondered why you left the restaurant feeling miserable, angry, or upset? It’s always good to consider that the chef may have been having a bad night. This is why blessing our food is so important before eating it.

I’m a firm proponent of blessings. Some might feel that they’re easy to come by, that they’re quite unnecessary, or that they don’t mean much. In my life, blessings are one of my most powerful tools. They impart grace, gratitude, hope and most of all, love. Blessing anything makes it so much better.


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