Posts Tagged ‘relief’

How Can I Turn My Day Around?

June 20, 2012

The challenge of a bad mood, bad news, depression, or some upset faces all of us often in our lives, and many assume we are helpless targets just waiting for things to change again.  We go through life wanting this or that circumstance to be different so that we can be “happy”.  Many of us, if asked what happy is, cannot answer.  We’re stumped and silent, suddenly realizing that we have no measure of what “happy” actually is.  It’s a word that means better, doesn’t it?  It makes everything okay, right?  The problem is that if we don’t know what it is, we will never recognize if we have it.  Aiming for a target that is invisible, we stumble around shooting arrows at “happy” and wondering why we don’t get any.  It’s no wonder so many are feeling out of control, like life is a crap shoot, hoping someone has a magic prescription that will make it better.

 

We hope to win a lottery, because money seems to be the thing that everyone wants more of so that they can get more of what they want and feel powerful.  We think that if only we had this, or that, or if someone loved us more, or if we had more vacations, everything would change and this bad feeling would stop.  We numb ourselves out with tv, alcohol, and drugs or food.  We work harder, exercise more, and read more self help books.  There seems to be no end to what we’ll try to “feel” better!

 

Something subtle happens, however, when a person begins to experience consciousness.  That is, awakening from the robotic state of going through life on auto-pilot, accepting everything at face value, never questioning the status quo.  Through grace, at some point in our eternal existence as souls in bodies, we begin to emerge from the slumber in small increments usually (not always), and we realize that we have choice.

 

A typical scenario for awakening is a tragedy or loss, a sudden change that is unexpected, or an emotional crisis.  We were going along on automatic and without warning, someone we love died, or the truck hit our car, or we found out we had a terrible illness, or we lost our job, our livelihood.  That feeling of being without familiar foundation, without ground to stand on, nowhere to turn for relief, intense pain and suffering brings us to a deeper place of searching if it doesn’t destroy us.  We look for the meaning, we find support in places we may never expect, and we turn our awareness to the moment because focusing on the future isn’t always possible in times like these.

 

The things that bring us to our knees bring us to the moment.  In the moment, we can find strength we never knew we had, and a sense of surrender that will not be denied.  When we submit to what is, space opens up and things move.  Even in a moment of simple unhappiness over something more mundane and simple, if we are willing to allow the emotion and feel the sadness, anger, frustration, the emotion can flow and what is underneath it can be revealed.  Quite simply, allowing the emotions, rather than stifling them, is the direct pathway into wisdom, relief, and higher consciousness.  So let the tears flow…really feel…and in experiencing your humanity you will be freed.

Making Time For Pleasure

May 23, 2012

When everything is just too overwhelming and life seems to be racing in a zillion directions, how do you handle it? Do you drink more coffee, try to do more, stay up later, get up earlier, or break down? Do you let stress build and ignore it? Do you just stuff your face with sugar like I do?
It’s a huge challenge to stay focused and prioritized, and to make the time for rest and balance in these times. We have so many mediums of communication all vying for our attention, not to mention careers to work, families to tend to, functions to attend, plans to make, appointments to keep. The list goes on and the stress seems to mount, until we find ourselves either sick or in breakdown somehow.
I see many people who seem to wait until they’re sick for a small break, and then they jump back up before they’re even ready to go back into the ring for more. It’s scary to watch. I can’t help but wonder if they are truly happy, or just afraid to stop. For some, I’m sure that staying in the game full frontal brings them joy, but this isn’t not true for everyone.
The perfect antidote for stress is pleasure. Nothing gives us more of an “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” feeling. It doesn’t really take much if we learn to breathe and center our attention on our hearts, get present with the moment, and then feel into it. I don’t believe that pleasure can happen when our minds are racing in the opposite direction. Ever tried to completely relax while running? Doesn’t work that well, does it? You have to get the mind to stop, drag it back to where your body is and sync your system up with the now. Only then can you really be with whatever pleasure you’re offering yourself.
One of the more advanced routes to pleasure is associated with our sexuality, and in a pinch our sexuality can be channeled into any activity and then it becomes sensuality, which is highly pleasurable. Pleasure in eating something delicious, feeling the sun on your face, getting a shoulder rub, stretching, looking at beautiful art or photos, listening to gorgeous music…these are all so pleasurable. If we focus on feeling our bodies respond as we enjoy these activities, we are officially having a sensual experience. This is where the pleasure we are feeling can light up our brains, our groins, our whole physiology, and we are healing, opening, and receiving the relaxation and rejuvenation we crave.
In the book, The Pleasure Zone, Resnick lists the 8 fundamental pleasures as being primal, pain relief, play, mental, emotional, sensual, sexual, and spiritual. The last three can “be thought of as the consummate realms for reaching your pleasure potential”, she says.
Take some time out for pleasure today and if it feels good try it daily for a while. I would love to hear back from you how it affects your life.

 


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