Posts Tagged ‘sensitive’

Embracing The Bad Days

June 26, 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One heck of a day I am having, beginning with powerful emotions surging from a very rough weekend of spouse in a strange mood-itis.  I’m so sensitive that it always hits me hard and takes me a while to recover, and he seems to react to my moods the same way, so we ride  nice big waves around here.  Some days I just chalk the whole mess up to our passionate Italian heritage.  Other days, I realize we are far more alike and sensitive than I had ever imagined.

It started with going to bed too late, which always sets me up for mood swings.  Then there was the fact that it was the first day of his huge successfulness in a brand new arena of career wins and the gifts and basking therein, and suddenly not only was I tired and emotionally worn, but I was hit head on with loss.  My choices, my sacrifices, my stubborn insistence on putting my child first before myself, and the endless windows of opportunities lost were all slamming me in the head.

Top that with reading a metaphysical book written by a woman who looked more like a man from a Victorian generation, about ego and serving others, with every reference to God in the masculine and suddenly I was having an internal war between my empowered, pissed off inner goddess and my good little conservative baptist inner child.  I set myself up with staring at my own failure at everything and wondering whether this spiritual path I had chosen was a big mistake.  Yup, I was a big, fat, lazy, inept, ungrateful failure.  Even this blog I was so excited about sucked.  My writing sucked.  I had no friends.  I felt fat, ugly, old, and opposite of fabulous.

While retching up my existential misery in successive Facebook status updates, I was making tortellini for my son and burned my arm on the pan.  Great.  I may as well just ensure my misery today and eat sugar and fat, too.  So I did.  Apparently, I like to go down with a big, hideous splat and then ricochet with a dramatic comeback.  Did I mention there was thunder and lightening and a brief power outage as well?

I have surrendered fully to this misery inasmuch as I know how.  Today, there is nowhere to go that is of any interest to me.   I want to hide my fat body in my too small for me apartment.  I’m in my own way and have no idea how to get out of it.  I’m so pissed that I don’t even care.  Every solution has a problem with it, why it won’t work, and a price that’s more than I want to pay.  Even no solution has a price, but right now it’s where I am and it still costs less than the calculations I’ve done on my standby fantasy of running away.  Nowhere with no solution.

I imagine you have a load of advice for me, and so do a ton of other people, and it’s all varied, some excellent, some peppered with spiritual cliche, and some empathetic, some not.  The problem is that none of it will help.  Did you know that it actually makes it worse?  The hardest thing for most people to do is to simply hold space and witness someone else’s brilliant process.  The best place for me to be is where I am, miserable, burned, regretful, frustrated, angry, jealous, grieving, and afraid.  I’ve learned it’s a good place to be and that the very best thing I can do is to love exactly where I am because the fertilizer down here is the richest thing happening.

Each individual has unfathomable wisdom and resource inside, and our egos don’t like to admit that someone may know what’s good for themselves better than we do, and we certainly don’t like to see the messiness that reminds us of our own “failing”.  When I rise, you can be certain I’ll be carrying some diamonds of wisdom, and that the simmering desires I’ve been sitting on will explode into a firework of new creations.

Five Simple Steps to Your Soul Recharge

June 23, 2012

Lilies

My clients are all feeling it, I am feeling it, and I suspect you are feeling it.  Time seems to be moving like a rocket ship, and we’re hanging on for dear life, full to busting at the seams with stuff to do, messages to answer, phones ringing, loved ones needing us, catching up, catching up…

When the pace is out of control, there is always a small voice under the din, calling us to come home.  In our current global paradigm shift, we are feeling a higher vibration energy and it is an intense feeling to adjust to.  The answer is to connect to our Source, to align with what nurtures and replenishes us and to plug into a circuit bigger than all that we think we are.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes is a master at knowing what feeds the soul, and her wisdom is timeless.  She urges us to find time to go back to Soul. Soul is where we rest, where we boundary off our personal space, where we don’t do, but rather BE.  Women are especially wise to utilize this advice.  It takes courage and unwavering intention, this going home to our souls.  It can be small breaks of time when we do something that feeds us, such as playing music, doing yoga, meditating, or taking a walk alone.  Spending time connecting to the earth is especially beneficial and aligning.  Some of us need larger spaces of time and solitude to recharge, especially if we are ultra sensitive.

During the winter months when we are having snow storms and freezing cold, Nature beckons us to go inward.  Soul time is necessary to re-pose, review, take stock, discard, reinvent, vision, dream, nourish, and wait patiently for the seeds of what is to come to surface.  When we are surging forth with new and fresh ideas, clamoring to bring our good work into the sunshine in spring and summer, we also need to be mindful of the small breaks that refuel our bodies and souls.  Fighting our natural cycle takes a toll on our vital life force.  From experience, I can tell you that you can indeed take the time you need to rest.  Our minds will tell us different stories, but they are all illusions of attachment, I assure you.

The Five Steps

1 ~ Breathe deep and slow, relaxing your body and settling into the NOW.

2 ~ Allow the idea of new possibilities, letting go of the mind chatter that tells you that time for rest is impossible because of___________________.  Simply replace that thought with the willingness to be open to possibility.

3 ~ Choose a time on your calendar.  Block it out and claim is as sacred.  Intend to keep your promise to yourself.

4 ~ Ask your loved ones to support you in this, and explain that you need this and that you promise to come back, to return to them with even more love and energy as the rejuvenated you.

5 ~ DO IT.  Take the time, do whatever gives your spirit great rest and nurturing, connecting you to your gorgeous, divine Soul.

 

Saying YES to your exquisite self care is the first step to living into your bliss, my friends.  Thank you for caring  for yourself with compassion, because the waves of love emanate out into this world and make the world a much, much more beautiful place to share.
Blissings & Blessings~
Oceana

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