Posts Tagged ‘slowing down’

Banish Overwhelm From Your Queendom

June 7, 2014
I was speaking with a very dear friend this morning about our strategies for simplifying our lives, being more present, and banishing overwhelm.  It was a great convo where we each had our own practices to share, and so we ended up with a synergy of amazing tools.  Naturally, I thought it would be great to share them with you.  Love it, right?!
So here’s the deal.  Living a life of presence as an embodied goddess doesn’t mean you’re not expanding, growing, and learning.  It means that you come from a place of grounded empowerment, and that when you waver, you have the skills handy to bring yourself back into presence again.  We’re also naturally designed  to have divergent awareness.  We’re most often multi~tasking and feeling all of our surroundings calling for our goddessly attention.  We have the deliciously expansive view.  This is a beautiful thing about us.  
The problem occurs when we are pulled into too much conflicting divergence with old, worn~out patterns of trying to be nice and saying yes to every request.  We don’t think to ask for support and some of us haven’t learned how to say no.  We may not know how to do a certain thing and we’re too afraid of rejection to ask anyone.  Maybe we don’t know how to articulate something in a way that allows us to delegate.   Overwhelm happens when our natural proclivity as goddesses goes from choice to pleasing mode.  Our people~pleasing servant self takes control, and the goddessly aligned self reclines on her chaise lounge and sleeps.

That was the explanation, but now for the nitty~gritty, “how to reign it in” skills…
1.  When you notice you’re feeling overwhelmed, stop.  Just STOP what you’re doing for a minute.  Close your eyes and breathe in through your nose slowly, exhaling deeply, a few times.  This calms your nervous system and gives the madness a commercial break.
2.  Choose the ONE task at hand that you are doing.  Slow it down and see it through to completion.   Command the others to take a back seat until you finish.
3.  Reframe your self~blame.  Whatever your mind is freaking out about, it can wait.  Create a new story.  If you’re running late, decide you have perfect timing and that you can only get there when you get there. (Besides, the party doesn’t ever really start until you arrive.)  If the problem is that you’ve crammed 20 tasks into a day and can’t get them all done, choose three and call it a day well done.  Determine to give yourself larger time frames from now on.
4.  DELEGATE.  If you can delegate even a part of your task, call someone and request a specific action that will take the load off of you.  If you’re not sure how, start with one simple task that is easy to do and easy to articulate.  Then you can begin to build on that muscle next time. You’re not superwoman, you are a goddess.  Goddesses don’t do it all themselves. They are like queens, delegating, leading the kingdom.  You rule the temple, darling goddess!
5.  Start a spiritual practice a few minutes a day.  Make a promise to yourself.  Tiny, little disciplines really do build on themselves, and every drop matters. Don’t wait until you have one hour a day, or the perfect expanse of time.  Just.  Do. Something.  Mindful breathing, a beautiful prayer, one yoga pose, light a candle…you get the idea.  Anything done with applied, positive intention is a goddessly act of spiritual devotion.  Connecting with your spiritual center is the first breakthrough to alignment.
Over time, these habits will become second nature and overwhelm will occur less and less.  I know you can do it!
Would love to hear how these land for you, what works, and if you have any reports from the field.
~Goddess Oceana

Remembering How To Say Yes To Ourselves

June 22, 2012

My hopes and dreams, desires and visions are stunted when they seem in conflict with each other and I allow fear to rule inside of that division.  I’m watching myself want many things in life, and yet I continue to choose what I hear myself saying I don’t want.  What the heck is that about?

The truth is that if it’s in my experience, then I chose it at one time.  I can remind myself of this and continue to say yes to that original commitment.  It’s okay to assess if it’s still the best agreement for me or whether I need to change it.  However, the fact remains that a commitment is worth keeping if we desire to enjoy a life where our words hold power and mean something.

When I slow down and look closely, it boils down to choosing daily what’s most important to me.  Travelling to wonderful new places and bringing my workshops there is a dream of mine.  I’ve been invited to several countries to do this and the timing hasn’t worked yet.  Sometimes I forget that I’m not saying no forever, just no for now.  There will be a time when I say yes and take off on a plane to a wonderful place with beautiful people who are just ripe for the transformation that I channel.  I have to remind myself of this, however, when my mind gets impatient and I feel constricted in my work, chomping at the bit to get moving.

At those times I also remind myself that my son won’t be young forever, and that this is the moment, right now, when I get to bask in the joys of motherhood…the quieter days, the crazy fun conversations with him, the sparkle in his eyes, and the joy of having him near.  This will eventually change,  and he’ll be off having his own adventures.  If I spend all of my precious time with him wishing my career were liberated and running strong, or frustrated that I’m not doing something else, I’ll miss the whole of now.

It’s a choice.  Noone is forcing me to work from home or to homeschool him.  My fear gets in my face sometimes and I find myself worrying that when I’m finally ready, maybe they won’t want me anymore.  Maybe they’ll have forgotten or I’ll be too old.  All sorts of nightmarish fears come up, and I can choose to indulge them or I can get back to the moment at hand.  This usually requires trust in a Power greater than myself, a Love that would never align things in such a way as to make me purposefully unhappy.

My greatest source of peace is leaning into the Divine.  Somehow, resting in my Higher Power synchronizes everything in my life like a Swiss watch.  Miracles happen, happy surprises appear out of nowhere, gifts arrive at the last hour and are perfectly exacting to my needs and my joyful whims.

The great illusion is that something is stopping us, getting in the way, blocking us.  Choosing what is and basking in present time joy while trusting in divine alignment pops the cork of that illusion, and our good comes rushing in…

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