Posts Tagged ‘Women’

Pleasured

February 18, 2016

bubble-bath

Do you make time for pleasure in your life?

Recently I ran a short, five day challenge for women to immerse themselves in various kinds of pleasure.  It’s strange to think that simply generating some pleasurable activities in one’s life could be such a big undertaking, wrought with resistance and avoidance.

Five straight days is more than most people can muster up a daily act of pleasure. To my surprise, about fifteen women out of almost a hundred really went for it and reported their exuberant findings as well as their struggles with it.  I didn’t expect so many heartfelt, transparent, gorgeous descriptions of what they were facing, and was so impressed.

I’ve been practicing pleasure, studying about pleasure, and teaching pleasure in various forms over the years, and what I’ve come to learn is that our culture simply does not value it.  This fact alone can stop some women cold.  Some of the struggles in the pleasure challenge were feeling guilty, too busy serving others, and difficulty finding time alone to do something pleasurable in their hectic days.

A very few participants were already practicing infusing pleasure into their lives as a way to heal and nurture themselves. Women were sharing all of the ways they found pleasure in life, ways they created more, and desires for even more.  It was such a gorgeous thing to see women sharing and learning something so simple, yet so powerful.

There were deep realizations about how focusing on pleasure brought so much awareness of even more pleasure they’d never noticed.  Vibrancy, deserving, worth, and even profound joy unfolded.  New ideas, enthusiasm and even recipes for pleasure were shared.

I have no intention of closing this amazing group.  With women joining daily, asking me what it is and how they can participate,  we’ll continue to focus on pleasure.  We’ll encourage each other to keep up the important work of enjoying life, honoring our bodies, reveling in our femininity, and opening to receiving more abundance. I’m convinced that the gateway of gratitude is primed by pleasure.

~Goddess Oceana

How can you join the Goddess Pleasure Challenge group?  Follow this LINK and ask to join.

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

 

 

Speechless During Sex?

January 18, 2016

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Let’s get down to business, shall we?

Your pleasure plays a huge role in how empowered you are.  My mission is to teach you how to be a goddess, and goddesses are powerful.  One of the myriad teachings I share is how to live a pleasure-filled life, bask in sensuality, and enjoy the incredible benefits that come from such a badass lifestyle.

Before I became an empowered goddess, I was a shy, mute, lovely and good girl.  Unskilled and inexperienced sexually, I naively hoped for the best and mostly got the worst.  In those days, the only information available was in the few books we could find on the subject, magazines, and word of mouth.  All of it was sadly lacking, and we were hugely misinformed.

A big part of my awakening sexually happened when I discovered vibrators.  It changed my life.  Suddenly I was feeling things I hadn’t known I could feel.  In short, self pleasure became the key to understanding my body and in showing my lover what worked for me.  Years later, I became a sex educator for a well-known toy consultancy, and one of the themes we found most beneficial for women was teaching them that self pleasure is the key, in fact, to all women’s success in having optimal pleasure with lovers.

Many types of empowerment and sexuality trainings  later, what emerged was another aha… the absolute necessity of certain types of communication in bed.  Yes, we hear it and read it everywhere, but I have an idea that not everyone actually practices it.  Nor do they know how.

Here are a couple of tips on successful pleasuring communication:

  • Practice speaking up every time something feels good with describing exactly when and what, even if you don’t feel confident in doing so at first.  (Practice, practice, practice).
  • If something is not to your liking, instead of just laying a complaint on your partner, keep the passion flowing by first saying what did feel good or what you do like about them or what they’re doing, and follow with requesting what you want more of or  want different.
  • Keep breathing.  Holding your breath (which many do unconsciously when they’re revved up) constricts energy, inhibits communication, and freezes the response.  Just remember to breathe, and if you notice you stopped, start again with slower, longer breaths.  Short, shallow breath can also shorten orgasm.  Long, conscious breathing prolongs pleasure. Breathing can also be a way of communicating.  Even if we don’t realize it, we sense so much from another’s breathing patterns.
  • If all else fails, ask your lover to receive, and show them what you like by touching them they way you wish to be touched, kissed, or stroked.

Speaking up in bed can be so scary for some women, especially if past abuse or trauma is present.  Be gentle with yourself and start slowly, and celebrate every successful communication, no matter how small it may seem.  One tiny step at a time, over time, will reap huge rewards, I promise.

Juicy Goddess Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

 

True Love Terror

December 14, 2015

ripping heart

Women tell me about how much they want to have great relationships all the time.  There are articles all over the internet about how to find the man of your dreams and keep him, how to have a better marriage, and how to deepen the intimacy with your lover.

Many women talk about what their partner is or isn’t doing that’s making them unhappy.  They speak of the dream relationship they want, and they spend tons of time trying to figure out what they’re doing wrong, or what makes their man tick.  They contort themselves into emotional pretzels fretting about the other woman, or about how they can get their man to treat them the way they want to be treated.

This article isn’t going to tell you the answers to any of it right now, because I think I’ve stumbled on the one thing that no one is talking about.  This one thing is at the absolute core of all of this commotion.

You see, no one comes to me describing the terrifying act of opening their heart to a man fully and completely, allowing themselves to be so utterly vulnerable that they stop trying to attack him covertly in an attempt to control him so they can feel safer.

The one thing not many women are talking about is how terrifying it is to be deeply in love.  Because, I tell you in all truth, it is fucking scary.  It’s scary to think that this one man could leave you grief-stricken in his absence, your heart ripped apart and bleeding.

How can I be so sure of this?  Because even after twenty-five years with a rock solid guy, I found myself facing the deepest level of intimacy I’ve ever experienced.

I’d been training myself in vulnerability, the deepest surrender, setting ego aside, and putting our love first and foremost.  I don’t do things halfway, and I wanted the very best marriage I could imagine.  The nature of my work as a mentor insists that I live what I teach.  So, I wouldn’t be satisfied until I had plummeted into the depths of my man’s heart and felt a complete union of souls.

In order to do this, I had to drop every single barrier to intimacy I had acquired in my life, from trying to control him, to hiding my traces of shame, to allowing him to be right when he was right, to being willing to be wrong in order to put love first…the list goes on.  In essence, I had to stop emasculating him, even in the most subtle ways that were almost unconscious.

What happened next took my breath away.  Unexpected, incredible, magnificent love showed up.

When I trusted him completely, and told my core truth without unconsciously trying to hurt him first to make myself feel safe, he responded with love.  In trusting him first, he lived up to my trust and beyond.

Today, I found myself in tears expressing my worst fears to my beloved, all wrapped up in my profound love.  In allowing myself to be absolutely raw in my transparency, I experienced terror.  For the first time in my life, I was face to face with the terror of the deepest love I had allowed myself to surrender to a man in this lifetime.

And so I say to you, what’s underneath all of those challenges you’re facing in your relationship is most likely terror at what it may mean to love fully, completely, openly, and without a safety net.

What if you give your whole heart, your tender vulnerability, your whole life to this man, and one day you wake up and he’s no longer there?  What if you’re both elderly and he goes first?  What if you give up cutting him down at the knees with criticism and complaining, and instead get curious about what makes a man tick?

What if you surrender, throw up the white flag, and allow him to deeply love you…and trust him to catch you when you stumble?

~Goddess Oceana

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

A Woman Is No Idiot

December 8, 2015

Something happens to a woman when she is betrayed or rejected by someone she openly trusts and lets in very close.
If she does not have the skills or tools to recover, she tends to isolate, withdraw, and become wary after a while, of anyone trying to come in close.
Wounded, she unconsciously puts those dearest and closest through their paces over and over again, continuing to test their loyalty to guard fervently against further soul terrorism.
If she’s wise, she receives the gifts from her pain, and places shrewd guardians at the door of her soul who demand the heights of pre-earned trust for entry into her orb.
Earned trust is easy to discern as she learns to trust herself.
She becomes stealthy underneath her silken curves.
She paces herself, firmly rooted in her worth.
She honors herself first.

A woman is no idiot.
A woman is a creator of beauty in all things.
A woman will give until her last breath unless she is betrayed.
A woman bestows life and a woman magnifies splendor.
A woman‘s attention is rapturous.
A woman‘s wrath is chaos embodied, destroying and feeding the fires of transformation.
A woman is born, dies, and is reborn a thousand times a day.
A woman can live lifetimes into one look, ignite journeys of the heart with a single touch, and can move mountains with her pleasure.

~Goddess Oceana

 

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

Be A Goddessly Intender

December 7, 2015

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People ask me what living like a goddess looks like. There’s no simple answer. It can be the smallest, most subtle change in an intention that makes all the difference in the world.

When I mentor women into bringing out their inner goddess, living life like a goddess, and being an embodied goddess, we practice many tools over time until they become second nature. One of these tools is the power of intention.

It’s a shift of mind that can completely alchemize any situation, turn the tide on the outcome of the day, and even make a meal an absolutely healing experience.

Working with intention is one of the most powerful spiritual moves we have as human beings.

Intention is a silent form of mental focus that imprints the invisible field of creation with a recipe for manifestation of whatever we desire.

What that means simply, is that when we focus a clearly articulated idea of what we want, it sends waves of information out into the quantum field of energy we’re a part of, and that energy has the sole purpose of following information waves.

Setting an intention is potent magic, the kind that a goddess can easily use to create wonderful things.

Next time you’re focused on someone and wondering what you can do to elicit something good, set an intention to focus on the good things you see about them rather than the negative. What we focus on grows, and intention can ramp that up tremendously.

Go ahead and grant someone their humanity today by giving them the benefit of the doubt. Find something to love about them. Doubt that their intentions are bad.

Assume their intentions are good.

See what happens.

 

Let me know how it goes. I love hearing from you!

 

Blissings and Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDS

 

Are You Too Much, Not Enough, Or Just Plain Confused?

June 30, 2015

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Do you shrink yourself to be more pleasing?

Do you go blank when someone asks you what you want, or make something up in hopes it will turn out well?

Are you confused about why men don’t seem attracted to you, or do you miss the signals?

You’re not alone, sister.  So many of us are stymied by the crazy mixed messages we are bombarded with from the media, and even more importantly, by the way we’ve been trained to be silent, appeasing, and people pleasing.  It becomes a habit based in fear and self-preservation.

You don’t need this habit, but wow does it take hold when it’s reinforced by attitudes in the culture, commercials, and good old-fashioned female oppression.

The truth is that you are never too much, you’re always enough, and you know way more than you give yourself credit for, you goddess!  But how are you supposed to tap into this type of confidence, courage and savvy?

This is my specialty, and I have been through it for decades until I figured it out.  I was the ultimate people pleaser, good girl, quiet and polite lady who spent a whole lot of time battling depression, failed relationships, a failed marriage, and even abuse and rape.

My journey to wholeness began  very slowly, years before I realized I had a problem.  I was training in Law of Attraction and spiritual mysticism early on in my teens, and started my passion for attending transformational workshops in my twenties.  But it wasn’t enough to wipe out the low self-worth I was battling.  Brilliant teachings and trainings were wonderful, and I benefitted immensely, but they didn’t change the deepest core of my particular emotional and mental wounding.

The process of healing took me three decades and was a relentless search on my part, healing layer after layer after layer.  I went through what I would call a spiritual death in my early forties, and the journey back from that was through my ongoing intensive training in the Divine Feminine mysteries, wisewoman teachings, shamanic trainings, and decades of practicing tantric yoga.

I believe there is a reason for everything we experience, and that the soul is imbued with a Divine Plan in collaboration with our inherent desires for ecstasy.

What I offer you now as an elder is the full scope of all that I’ve learned and practiced over my lifetime.  One method doesn’t work for everyone, as you are a unique and wondrous creature with a path as intricate and distinct as a snowflake.  Every individual has their own story to be lived and liberated into an enlightened legend, and for most of us, the support and guidance of a wise teacher with many experiences and an array of skills is necessary.

My passion is to dive deep with women and peer into their souls, support them to fulfill their Divine Destiny with joy, love, and sensuality as their inherent birthright.

Blissings & Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Goddess Oceana is a certified Tantric Yoga Teacher, Shaman, and Women’s Empowerment Coach. If you’re a woman who wants to embrace your inner power to attract and create more money, and become a magnet to more positive relationships, go here for the free series, The Seven Goddess Secrets Every Modern Woman Must Know To Live In Passionate Pleasure now.

 

Balance Is Absurd

January 23, 2014

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The almighty experts who are trying to figure out how women can have it all tell us that above all, we must strive for balance.  Better yet, draw a pie graph and label each slice with a different area of your life and give each slice a number from one to ten.  Then work harder on the low numbers.  I have news for these experts, girlfriend.  The people who create these graph exercises are missing the fact that for each woman there are many, many levels of pies all stacked up, some thrown and some eaten.  A woman can eat a pie and bake another one that matches it and no one will ever be the wiser.  It’s just not so simple.  After years of following expert advice like a good girl, why am I coming up facing the same struggle and beating myself up on top of it?  I’ve given this some thought, done some intensive research, and am realizing there are a few things I have to say on the matter.

First of all, a woman striving for balance is like a cloud trying to maintain precipitation without ever raining.  Women are not linear beings going from point A to point B in one straight, even, carefully drawn line.  The women I know are messy, neat, beautiful, disheveled, passionate, irritable, sweet, generous, terrified, confident, completely neurotic, powerful, sexy, intimidated, anxious, boring, exciting, insecure, happy, depressed, on fire, and so very much more.  In fact, every single one of these adjectives could describe one single woman at any given time.  The women I have experienced who seem to have their lives in perfect balance on the outside are often lacking a certain internal fire, a spark in their eyes, or are medicated unduly by unwitting professionals trying to treat a label rather than dig deeper.  Just sayin.  I’m personally convinced that balance is something water finds, scales measure, and construction workers who aren’t in a messy hurry find with a level.

The single thing that has lit me up and given me a sense of ownership and creative power in my life has been pleasure as a practice, combined with an internal experience of the sacredness of all of life, wrapped up in the love of other women.  There’s a certain knowing that goes womb-deep that women hold for each other, unspoken, palpable, and in a silent language “bone”.  It’s something we just know in our bones, as ancient as our ancestral line.  Just as men have a language, women have a sisterhood that we need around us to survive well and to take the dives into the mystery that only women sense.  It’s wrapped up in shadows and pleasure, passionate creativity, loss and grieving, and seduction mixed with rolling laughter.  For us to find our center, we truly do need the love and support of other women.

The experts have the right idea you know, that there’s something we need to steer ourselves towards our joyful fulfillment in this life, but it’s not a perfectly balanced pie.  It’s more of a sacred agreement to honor our core knowing, and to do it much as we have been taught by our bodies, in messy, loud colors and soft hues of rising and reposing cycles.  We are to honor, cherish, and nurture pleasure in utter defiance of a culture that repudiates it.  I’m convinced that balance takes care of itself when we are true to ourselves, and that pies are for sharing, the more the better.  We can go ahead and use the graph to lay out a plan, but if we make the graph more important than our sense of bone knowing when the body says no, we risk coming from a flat line and missing out on the sheer pleasure of being alive.  A woman knows, but a place where she can be heard tiptoeing towards her core with tears and fire is the sacred, cyclical, ever-changing map towards her true desires and her passion.  Let this be the new “balance”.

Beginner’s Guide to Falling In Love With You

April 21, 2013

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I want to really talk to you today.  I’ve been thinking so much about self-love and how women just work and please and caretake.  You know, even when I try to write some very basic tidbits on how to begin to indulge in self-care, I run into women who can’t even wrap their minds around a few minutes of self-indulgence.

Someone wrote to me the other day and she was saying she really wanted me to expand on this concept.  She said that if a woman is so deprived of self-love that she has isolated herself and never gets out, where in the world does she start?  I told her that the fastest way to begin was to eye gaze.

It sounds weird, right?!  Eye gazing.  Like, what the heck is that?  And how on earth do you do it with yourself?  It’s actually a tantric technique, and Rumi, that world renown phenomenal poet of divine love, used to become enlightened.  He spent a full year in a room with his teacher simply eye gazing.  He emerged an enlightened being and wrote poetry that to this day touches the hearts of millions.

I tell people to eye gaze because it was where I began my journey to self-love.  Thirty-some years ago I couldn’t look at my own eyes in the mirror for more than a few seconds.  It made me so uncomfortable that I literally could not bear it.  Today, I could do it endlessly, falling deeper and deeper into blissful communion with my Self.  My Self as in the Divine that lives within, the gentle creature that embodies this Self, the vulnerable sweetness of my innocence and the compassion that wells up when I really see me.

So, for today, please try to look into your own eyes, even for 60 seconds.  Allow the discomfort to rise, and see if you can stay with yourself for a few more seconds.  See the tenderness that others see when they look at you. See beyond the face and into the soul, where, if you keep up this practice daily, you will meet the Self that loves you utterly and completely.

~Oceana LeBlanc is a women’s empowerment coach, tantric yogini, and shaman

http://www.goddessoceana.com

Self Love Makes Lotsa Love Kittens

April 20, 2013

kittens galore

The more we love ourselves, the more love we’re able to receive and the more love we can pour onto the world freely.  If you do the math, you’ll end up finding that self love multiplies like bunnies and kittens.

A calculator cannot add up the exponential and radical profusion of miraculous ripples of good that reverberate into the ethers and bounce back.  No miracle shelter could begin to hold the colossal volume of overflowing goodness babies that proliferate the population when a being practices self love.

Giving without expectation of reward is only possible if one has mastered self love.  One who cannot love themselves fully is tethered energetically with invisible iron cords of non-release and prosperity constipation. Gifting doesn’t happen.  What happens is unspoken bartering, gift wrapped with a bow.  The poor sucker receiving this package is now under scrutiny.

This type of sad affair causes all manner of unappreciated gifts, unfulfilled expectations, and even some outright victimization, illnesses, and swampy nose dives of despair. Among other things, it’s just tight and contracted.  Ouch.  Love can barely squeeze in and love can barely squeeze out.  Suffering ensues.

The antidote for all of this is to do the unthinkable.  Overdose with self love lubricant.  It’s what society tells us is selfish, what mama taught us good girls don’t do, and what we feel like we should be hiding. We need to overdose, because we’re sorely lacking and because when one is malnourished, drastic measures are necessary.

We need high potency self love, pleasure breaks, bubble baths, treats, hugs, massages, laughter, happy movies, snuggling and cuddles, sweet smelling stuff, dancing wild, sleeping naked on satin sheets, crying in a pair of strong and loving arms, letting someone brush our hair, lounging around doing absolutely nothing while sipping expensive liquids, or what. ever. it. takes. We need sessions of proclaiming our gratitude for every single thing we see in the mirror from a hang nail to the curve of our cheek.

People, this is an international emergency.  Self love is the red cross of getting off the cross and caring for the only one that is right here in this moment.  You.

~Oceana LeBlanc is a transformational leader, women’s empowerment coach, tantric yogini, and shaman.

http://www.goddessoceana.com

How Do You Wake Up?

April 18, 2013

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Sometimes we are rudely awakened.  I had a spiritual teacher once who told me that the way people wake up from a deep sleep is generally the way they react in life.  She said that people who wake up angry are really pissed off, and people who wake up so sleepy they can barely awaken go through life half asleep or unconscious. Others who have a sunny disposition wake up happily.  Some people even wake up quickly and get to task, and some are so busy doing that they’re always sleepwalking.  Through the years I’ve remembered this and pondered it.  I don’t know if I believe it’s a hard and fast rule, and I certainly don’t believe that people never change, but there is some seed of truth to it that keeps bringing it back to consciousness.

In the past few days I’ve been watching all of the beautiful and ugly ways in which people awaken to tragedy.  For the most part, we are fortunate in the west for the ways in which we thrive, the privilege of creature comforts and enough to eat.  Wars don’t generally happen here in our yards.  At least not the obvious types of war.

There are other wars we engage in, though.  Another spiritual teacher I had for ten years had travelled extensively and done relief work in war-torn countries. In one place she was trying to teach and feed young children in a poverty-stricken preschool while they were  bombed daily.  She had lived through more than I could imagine.  I expressed to her how fortunate we were here and how I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t seem to get my act together in such seemingly privileged conditions.

I will never forget what she told me.  She said that the suffering in other countries was tangible, palpable, able to be seen with the eyes.  In the west, she said, she had never seen people this tormented mentally.  The suffering was hidden, and people can’t help what they cannot see. For her, the mental suffering of the people in the west was just as terrible as anything she had witnessed anywhere else.  The aspect of it that she felt was worse was that it was,  as she put it, a deep and invisible suffering that left a terrible void of spiritual despair.

This made such a deep impression on me that I have devoted my life to alleviating this kind of suffering.  Sometimes, I catch people in mid-suffering mode, and I make them laugh so hard that they don’t notice me injecting them with heavy doses of compassion and love. I do my best to teach people to love themselves, and I show them new places where they can perch mentally in order to see their own magnificence.  Other times I tiptoe around sleeping folks so as not to wake them up, because awakening them would surely bring on a worse suffering.  There are times when sleeping is, after all, better medicine.

In times like these, I just pour love straight onto wounds.  I don’t need to wake anyone because they’ve all heard the alarm, and I stand here praying while the universe reorganizes everything in a big scary blender of total chaos.  I pray for us to remember that deep inside we are all love no matter what the appearances will have us believe. I pray mostly for a world of compassion and peace, and that those waking up angry, confused, hurt, tortured, or insane will be held and rocked in such a safe blanket of love that their suffering melts completely and is replaced with wholeness and joy.  You may be thinking right now that I’m dreaming because this is a fantasy, but I’m actually wide awake and just plain stubborn. I refuse to hold any other vision than a world of peace and love.

~Oceana LeBlanc is a women’s empowerment coach, tantric yogini, and shaman.

http://www.goddessoceana.com


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