Spring is here and I long to plunge my fingers and toes into the rich dirt. I take in the fresh breeze filled with new and familiar scents, and sit in sun rays on the deck absorbing the warm light as I sip my coffee.
With tear stained cheeks from an outpouring of my heart over the recent Boston tragedies, I ponder how my life in this moment can be so sublime in contrast. I remember the many times when personal crisis has brought me to my knees, and yet when I looked around, the rest of the world continued on seemingly unaffected.
I have tested the icy waters of human indifference firsthand to see if I could evoke a response. Once in a moment of utter desperation and profound shock, I drove to a beach in the winter and walked into the icy ocean up to my neck, coat, boots, mittens and all. People were on the beach and sitting in their cars enjoying the ocean view. No one stopped me and no one reacted, even as I came to my senses and backed out of the water and slowly made my way back to the car.
Frozen, dripping wet, weeping, and stunned at my own actions and the devastation that had driven me to it, I realized that I had come into this world vulnerable and alone, and that I would likely leave that way as well. Others might show up from time to time and reach out to support and assist, but ultimately I had to love myself. No one else could do it for me.
I would spend the next twenty years of my life in a relentless pursuit of learning to love myself. As a self love ninja, I’ve learned that a desire for something outside of the realm of what we have will continue to bring us to our knees in ways we could never anticipate. With enough playtime in the sandbox of conscious manifestation, however, one begins to learn the terrain. Often, even what is completely tragic and unexpected brings about gifts that are inexpressible, unexplainable, and forever mysterious. What separates self lovers from self haters in this realm is, among other things, the rate of recovery and the willingness to let go.
At this point I pride myself with laser clarity about what I am desiring, and eagle eyes that spot the seemingly chaotic signs along the way for what they are. Pits and blows that could easily be mistaken for failure by a neophyte are welcomed.
The ability to love myself is now one of my super powers, not to be mistaken for fluff. It is what enables me to love others with outrageous authenticity, to see life from a myriad of gorgeous angles, and to live my unique full potential. Super powered self love makes recovering from devastating interludes like a cup of coffee on a sunlit deck in springtime and another french kiss in the ecstasy that is life.
~Oceana LeBlanc is a women’s empowerment coach, tantric yogini, and shaman
Tags: ability, Boston Marathon, compassion, depression, devastating, french kiss, full potential, introspection, letting go, love, mandatory, ninja, recover, recovery, self help, self love, spirituality, spring, springtime, suicidal, super power, trauma, willingness, Women
April 17, 2013 at 4:51 pm |
Wonderful read! Thank you for the honesty, clarity and especially how you express your Super Power. I was asked the other day if I could have one super power what would it be. I replied I would like to have a super clear, trusting my own intuition super power that would allow me to live in my full potention. Your post today gives my clarity that it is possible. Best Regards, Wendy UBC
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April 17, 2013 at 5:03 pm |
Thank you, Wendy! So glad to have inspired introspection and possibility around clarity. Synchronously, clarity has been my word for the year, my current focus, and my new deep desire. Lovely to hear your clarity rising.
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April 17, 2013 at 4:52 pm |
I love how you state that loving yourself is one of your superpowers- great thought.
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April 17, 2013 at 5:04 pm |
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sheri. 🙂
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April 17, 2013 at 5:05 pm |
This may sound like an uber-simple comment … but I think that mug is adorable. B-)
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April 17, 2013 at 5:16 pm |
And I think your comment is uber-adorable. 😀
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April 17, 2013 at 5:11 pm |
Wow that is the most powerful piece I have read from you Goddess Oceana! More so because I have been immersed in that quest of self love and discovery over 4 years and thru that process of practice and discovery I can second what you say! It is working for me but I can only say that for myself and you share it is a path we have to choose for ourselves and no one can do it for us. Love Marc
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April 17, 2013 at 5:17 pm |
Well, thank you so much, Marc! I appreciate your dedication to your quest so much. It’s not an easy one. Blessings on your journey!
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April 17, 2013 at 5:22 pm |
thanks so much….. as a healing self destruct champion, i hear you, i understand you and i honour you. keep sharing goddess!
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April 17, 2013 at 5:27 pm |
Mmmm…love hearing from a goddess embodied! I am soaking up your attention, beautiful one. I promise to keep sharing.
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April 17, 2013 at 6:05 pm |
I love all that you do. I am 61, but when i grow up , I want to be just like you. Lol. You are so sweet & I’m sure when you were created the mold was broken, because there can be only one of you. I love coffee w/cream & think I’ll go get me a cup. Thank you so much.
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April 17, 2013 at 8:10 pm |
You’re so kind, Deborah. Thank you for the love. I’m thinking a cup of coffee with cream and sitting with you would be divine. xo
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April 17, 2013 at 7:49 pm |
Great post
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April 17, 2013 at 8:11 pm |
Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
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April 17, 2013 at 7:54 pm |
True and wise words. I am touched by and grateful for your willingness to be vulnerable. It is the way that we can help others – loving ourselves enough that the love shines through us from the inside out.
Namaste.
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April 17, 2013 at 8:13 pm |
I can feel your love shining through, thank you! Namaste.
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April 19, 2013 at 8:31 pm |
Oceana, you have the most amazing way of putting things! Your word pictures are entirely tangible! Your posts simply exude positive energy and self-empowerment!
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April 19, 2013 at 9:22 pm |
What beautiful compliments, Sheri. Thank you for this reflection. Reflecting your fabulous positive energy and self-empowerment back to you! xo
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