Stuck On Repeat? Shake It Loose

I hope your Eostara/Easter/Resurrection weekend was as fabulous as you are.

Whether it was delicious, sweet, challenging, mediocre, or isolating, I know that your destiny points to the perfection of it all, even if you cannot see it yet.

Since it’s a time of brand new beginnings on the path to your ultimate destiny and life purpose (it said so in the stars), you may be wondering what the heck is in the way.

* Why are you still dealing with the same old pattern?

*What is it with the universe daring to withhold your abundant great stuff?

* Why are they getting theirs and I’m not getting mine?

Today, I will unpack exactly why you’re stuck on repeat, sweet sister.

There is a whole recipe for manifesting your most fulfilling life, stepping into synchronous bliss, and living life large with feminine aplomb.

So this one step I’m sharing with you, although it’s crucial like air and water, will only work if you’re working all of them.

However, I find this one really can be a stickler because it doesn’t ever go away.

In one word, it’s the almighty forgiveness factor.

You may say to yourself that you already said forgiveness prayers for those people, or you have a right to be angry, or maybe you’ve done all you could and they’re still a shit.

This is a wonderful place to begin….again.

Forgiveness is an ongoing process.

It begins with us.  It ends with us.  It’s about us, never about them.

Regardless of the heinous, misguided, horrific drama that played out with us feeling victimized, offended, traumatized or crushed like a gardenia under a cement block, the only way to unfuck ourselves in life is to forgive.

In order to forgive, sometimes we just have to step up into a higher view of the situation, look at where the source of another’s wounded behavior might have come from, and apply grace within ourselves over it.

And then rinse and repeat as many times as it surfaces inside of us as hurt or anger.

When we can surrender our ego to that extent, the universe has a wide open runway to propel so much abundance and good our way, it’s like the firehose of life has no off switch.

May you have the strength to forgive always and forever so that your magnificent blessings pour into your life unbound and in dizzying glory.

Forgiven,

Goddess Oceana

www.goddessoceana.com

https://www.facebook.com/GoddessOceana/

P.S.  If being buoyed by a community of supportive, witchy women while you hone your manifesting skillz sounds appealing, check out the Manifest Your Fabulous (Relationship) Desires Program on Facebook now.

http://goddessoceana.com/events/

Knitting As An Act of Passion

Recently I started to knit with a wild and fierce determination.

It could have been my passionate love for colors and my deep need for sensual touch that pointed me in the direction of soft, delicious yarns I could spend hours running over and around my skin.

It could have been the state of the world and a feeling that overcame me of needing to do something tangible that would lift spirits for more than a few minutes.

Maybe it was the budget my husband and I set for the holidays, and a deep desire to create meaningful gifts that didn’t cost a fortune, and demonstrated my love for people rather than the quick and easy obligatory shopping trip.

Perhaps it was the fact that I was detoxing from sugar, and keeping my hands busy with yarn while my mind was focused on prayer, distracting me from my usual trips to the cupboard for cookies.

And then there was the fact that my beloved little goddess doggie passed away after months of hospice, and I found it so powerfully comforting to receive a tiny crocheted bit of a prayer shawl from the Temple of Witchcraft ministry that I wanted to spread this love to others.

Maybe two decades of childrearing and keeping a house were coming to a close and I wanted somewhere to channel the grief of letting go while still feeling relevant and useful in the world.

It’s not that I was new to knitting or crocheting, sewing, or anything creative with my hands.  It was that I found myself determined to carve out a place for this in my life.  I wanted to complete projects rather than moving the basket around my house for fifteen years or so, thinking that someday I’d have time to finish that thing.

There is something so primal about knitting in a world where a machine made item can be spat out in minutes.  Primal, spiritual, and tangible.  And that translates to passion for me, because it combines the three ways in which we can align our energies in this world to truly rock our soul potential.

Whatever we doing in this world, the fires of passion will fuel our focused intention.  Seemingly small acts that are consistent will move mountains.

This passionate knitting habit looks so inconspicuous, but let me assure you, it’s a disguised sensual fire of world healing, from the inside out.

~Goddess Oceana is a Women’s Sensual Empowerment Expert, Shamanic Healer, and Goddess Oracle as well as an author and spiritual life coach.

You can find her knitting circle once a month in her healing office at Equinox Healing Arts, 85 Main St., Suite 303, Hopkinton, Ma., or leading a sacred ritual at the Goddess Circle.

 

Burnout and Saying No

Are you confused about what is an obligation, what’s a necessity,  and how to up your self care mode?

You’re not alone!  I’ve received questions from clients who are sincerely working on self care and clearing their lives of extraneous obligations in order to heal burnout. Some are single moms who can’t afford to take a month and go to a resort for recovery.

I’m writing this for those of you who have trouble figuring out what to say no to, in order to come back to yourself and ground into your truth and health again.

Let’s do this with lists, because it helps to organize your boundaries on paper where you can clearly see what you’re saying yes to, what’s a no, and where that line really is.  When it comes to self care, I think the first step is in making a list of absolute priorities. Income to eat and pay the bills is a number one priority, because without that we starve and are homeless.  So that goes on the list.

Next, look at what else must happen for your survival and add those items.   When we have a hard time drawing boundaries around what we say yes to, we can sometimes get fuzzy in our thinking about what’s a priority.  I know I have had to work at discerning priorities from other things.  In the world of obligations, survival is the one and only measure of  what you’ll be putting on this list.

Once you get really clear on what you must do,  make another list of what you “should” do…like maybe you feel you should do all the dishes at home or no one else will do them. Or you should fold everyone’s laundry because you can’t stand it when theirs isn’t folded.

Stuff like that is not survival stuff.   It’s more a matter of not setting a boundary around where you deserve the respect and honoring of your time, or where you create more work for yourself because you’re feeling out of control if others aren’t doing things the way you want them done.  In this list, you’ll be using your calm, loving indoor voice with clear  and simple directions for those around you, according to their age and abilities.

For example, folding someone else’s laundry eats into your rest and rejuvenation time. Looking at their messy piles might also stress you out. What you need is to brainstorm solutions.

An example of a solution would be to tell them you need more time for rest, and will not be folding their laundry. You also know that you do not want piles where you can see them.  Tell them this is important for your serenity, and that they can stuff the clothes under their bed for all you care, but your boundary is that clean laundry is put where you do not have to look at it while you’re healing from burnout.

When my son was little, a solution would have been to stop folding altogether and get him a dirty basket and a clean basket.  It’s really okay to let laundry sit unfolded if your health and sanity need attention.

I know this is a simple example, but if you can apply that to the list of things you are doing that can be delegated, you can take those “to do’s” off your plate. There are a million things we, as women, think we should be doing that aren’t necessary to survival.

Basically, it’s more a matter of taking anything off of your own plate that you’ve been doing that eats into time you could be resting or enjoying yourself.  Either decide it can wait a month, or that someone else can do it, and then brainstorm how.

Take an hour or two and really do this whole list making exercise, because that investment of time up front will be the steel floor on which you build your self care.

For me, grocery shopping became a big time suck out of my down time from my business. So I explained to my husband that I needed support around not having to do that for a while, possibly from now on. He had some great suggestions, goddess bless him! Now, I text him a list and he picks stuff up on his way home from work. For bulk items, I found out that there are online subscription sites where you can choose items you want shipped automatically, and can even specify how often. I also changed the day that I do the major grocery shopping to the weekend so that my husband and son bring everything in and help me put it away. I have less stress all around. I still get basic groceries, but am not doing it all myself and it’s a much easier haul.

Another simple solution was hampers in every bedroom.   I told my family I’d put loads into the washer and dryer, but folding and putting away was their job. The new order was that if the clothes were not next to the washer, I’d no longer go on the detective mission in their rooms to look for them. I now spend a fraction of the time on laundry.

Also, my particular burnout took the form of thyroid problems. My family members are night owls and I’m a morning person, and I could never get sleep when they were awake.  We sat down and brainstormed solutions together.  Now,  I announce I’m going to bed, they put on their headphones with any media, they keep their voices to a whisper, and they don’t turn lights on in my room.   I bought earplugs and an eye mask. I sleep now and they honor that. I was able to heal my hypothyroid without medication because of my willingness to honor my needs and speak my truth.

Let’s say you’re burned out and it’s truly time to take care of yourself.  You really need to start from the ground up and create a new platform or foundation for your health and well-being.  Here’s a metaphor that might help you create those boundaries…

When you begin to say no to anyone asking you to do things that are above and beyond survival, it’s like taking everything out of your closet except one outfit that’s your basic, great-fitting, comfortable one. From there, you keep saying no to anything that doesn’t fit beautifully, or that isn’t the exactly color you’re loving, or is anything that anyone else thinks you “should” wear that you really don’t love or feel good in.

You’re clearing your closet of life with lists and discernment, feeling in your body what is a yes and what is a no. You’re doing what you need to do to breathe, eat, have a roof, but you’re saying no to anything extra that’s not in your absolute pleasure.

After that, you’ll find you have a set point to go back to, and you’ll begin to have sharper vision for what is a yes in your life, and what is a no.

~Goddess Oceana

Yule Enlightened

In old tradition, long before Christianity, people would bring a tree into the house at this solstice, and decorate it with symbols of fruit, flowers, butterflies, birds, and snowflakes.
In this way, they showed their faith that summer and an abundance of food would come again.
This is much like the manifestation practice, where we plant the seed of our desire, and then act in full faith that it is absolutely coming to us.
People of old would sing and dance and drum as the Solstice Sun rose in the sky in honor of the returning light.
We take action and celebrate in advance for the good that is on it’s way.
In keeping with nature and the cycles of the seasons that are so essential in our lives, the celebration of Yule includes honoring the Sun God and the Dark God. The Dark God is simply the one that is with us as the days get shorter (not dark as in “evil” but dark as in literally shorter days of sunlight), and the Sun God is the returning of the sun in the sky for days that get longer and light that warms our earth and grows our food.
The myth of the Holly King passing into shadow so that the Oak King may rule this time of increase was honored by lighting the white Sun God candle from the flame of the black Dark God candle, and then snuffing out the black candle to signify this event.
(my synopsized version of information from a writing by Thuri Calafia).
I think people everywhere celebrate the returning of the light, in a multitude of ways.
Here, we can see how the Pagan traditions of old were used to inform (some say stolen, borrowed, transitioned into, etc.) the Christmas celebration and the Christmas tree, the celebration of the birth of the “sun god,” Jesus Christ the newborn Child of Light. You’ll find so many myths across all cultures that are versions of this story. People globally feel the universal archetypes and synchronize to the cycles of nature here on our Mother Earth.
I have great hope for the coming year and am planting the seeds of universal healing, holding the greater vision for a world where peace and love reign.
A part of that vision includes educating so that the scary stories and propaganda surrounding witchcraft and paganism are wiped away with sound understanding.
When we take the time to study and inform ourselves, the Sun is not the only light that returns.
We are literally returned into an enlightenment, where understanding leads to compassion, patience and love.
I’m wishing each of you a very blessed Winter Solstice, a gloriously Blessed Yule, a Very Merry Christmas, a sacred (even though it’s already over) Hanukkah, a beautiful Kwanzaa…and all of the other sacred traditions that make up our rich, abundant, and spectacularly magnificent world. 

~Goddess Oceana

All Those Lonely Men

 

“This is for all the lonely people.”
I saw an elderly woman in a waiting room the other day. She was having a great time chatting everyone up. At first, people were giving her the side-eye, wondering if she was normal or a bit crazy, talking to all those strangers as if she were there friend.
Soon, though, one person began to warm up to her and responded, and they started talking. Others looked curious.
After a while, everyone was smiling and relaxing more in their chairs.
The scenario struck me as familiar in how I tend to move through the world, fortunate to have been raised by a mother who treated everyone as if they were her children. She was outgoing and friendly, and really didn’t think anything of talking to people around her. With that role model ( and often included in the conversations as a child) I find that I am the same way.

During this holiday season, it saddens me to think of so many who have no one to celebrate with, or who are experiencing such deep loss or suffering that the celebrations around them only seem to compound the loneliness.

I heard yesterday from Dr. Christiane Northrup who was doing a video, that men are 4% more likely to commit suicide, and 50% of men do not have a single close friend to talk to (from the Mask of Masculinity by Louis Howes).

It was quite shocking to me, that number.  I began to think about how much easier it seems for many women to create community around themselves, with that gatherer mentality. So I’m wanting to encourage men to reach out if they’re feeling isolated.
I have the honor of men writing to me, in my line of work, who are sincerely expressing their feelings and transparently tell me of their struggles. I feel especially humbled that they courageously risk and reach out, in a culture that does not encourage emotional transparency in males.
I opened my work to men recently, because although women’s empowerment has been my focus, I now realize that my original purpose of healing the feminine does not preclude men, but includes the feminine in all of us.
This morning, I’m thinking about how all of us, men and women, can stretch a little further into reaching out with caring and sensitivity to others during the holidays.
After all, we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Would love to hear from you in the comments.  What are some ways that you reach out or don’t reach out, and

~ Goddess Oceana

www.GoddessOceana.com

https://www.facebook.com/GoddessOceana/

Stuck in a Rut of Depression

Someone recently said to me that she wanted to “transcend the mundane” and felt she was stuck in a rut of old, unhealthy patterns and dysfunction.  I thought about times when I was stuck and how it used to play out for me, and how it plays out now that I have almost forty years of deep personal work under my belt.

There’s a very clear difference.  Thirty-eight years ago, I knew I was at cause, but didn’t have the tools or skills necessary to understand the nuances of how to pull myself out, other than affirmations and an image board, journaling, and self-blame.  Way back then, I wasn’t as clear about how to distinguish being at cause about my entire reality versus being to blame for my entire reality.

So blaming myself when I couldn’t figure out how to make things better was my recourse, and it would spiral into the most excruciating depression, hopelessness, and longing to just make the pain stop…even fantasizing about and then attempting suicide.

Somehow my will to keep learning and persevering on the path of various transformational modalities began to pay off, and I got better at finding strategies to get myself aligned again.  The greatest learning about depression for me was to own my anger, my rage, my upset, and master how to express my boundaries in a safe and grounded way.  Once I began to express my anger by making requests of others that honored my newly discovered boundaries, I stopped turning my anger towards myself.

This took time, practice, and mistakes.  I failed a lot, and then learned from the failures.  I made a little progress each time.  Life began to improve, and as I stopped making other people’s wants far more important than my needs, I became a happier person. That’s one small  example of how I overcame a debilitating rut.

The various skills I’ve learned over the years I’ve tested repeatedly, and I continue to acquire more.  Mostly, I’ve come to realize that I love to learn, and so I honor that by diving into learning whatever it is I find fascinating.  It just so happens that all of it is in the realm of spirituality, transformation, psychology, relationship, sexuality, and esoteric studies.

The ruts I see my clients stuck in most often are the ruts of people-pleasing, not keeping their word (a basic tenet for becoming more powerful is to keep your word), a habit of putting other people first and getting lost in overwhelm, and or finding an old pattern of behavior they’re stuck in and not getting the energy healing necessary to break free from it.  These are all ways in which we sabotage ourselves, especially as women.

The good news is that self-love is the super vitamin that can make all healing possible, and it improves our lives dramatically.  And so I start there, with daily practices that infuse self-love and self-worth that begin to lift a person immediately from whatever rut they’re in.  Then we get into some nitty gritty pattern shifts and healing work.

Whatever rut you’re in, begin with self-love.  You can start by telling yourself that you love you very much, each and every day.  It can be that simple.  Let that love into your heart and feel it wrap around you like a soft, warm blanket.  Do it often and out loud.

Here’s to Loving You,

Goddess Oceana

Message me to schedule a fifteen minute call to find out how to work with me to live a happier, more fulfilling life.  I help women connect deeply to their inner spiritual guidance and become the sensual, powerful goddess they were meant to be while co-creating their deepest desires with the universe.

Email me:  Oceana@GoddessOceana.com

 

 

How Do You Meet Desire?

What do you deeply desire in your life that you don’t have?

What are you willing to do to have it?

I asked the universe for something and instead of immediate delivery, I received some powerful reflections that were painful for me.

This is often the case when we say we desire something, and are calling it into our reality.

We must become a match for that thing before it can come to us. Honestly, if we’re wondering why we don’t have what we want yet, it’s almost always because we haven’t made internal or external space for it, or because we aren’t in alignment with it in some way.

I am in such gratitude today for that discomfort I felt yesterday. Rather than choose to be a victim about it, which is the status quo for many who don’t realize their own power yet, I chose to look at the message, where I was responsible, and what I could do to further align myself to that juicy manifestation I wanted so much.

I allowed the Universe to speak to me, informing me in experiences of what needed to be overhauled before I could receive my desire.

Some powerful questions for the courageous manifester:

Where am I responsible in my ways of being, doing, thinking, and talking, that generated reflections of what I did not want?

What parts of this are in my control, and how can I shift my thinking or my way of showing up in the world that will align with what I do desire?

Is this a door closing because another better fit is beckoning? If so, am I grateful for the redirection, with open heart and joyful receiving for my true desires?

Do I truly want it, or am I just kind of wanting it? How powerful is my fire for this thing, and am I willing to do whatever it takes to meet the universe with action?

Is this a pattern when I review other times when there has been a similar feeling around a situation? If so, what is that pattern, what takes place, and how am I perpetuating it? How can I change this?

These are some questions that evoke the kinds of internal changes necessary for a powerful manifestation, the internal dialogue that will make the difference between having what you want and giving up, or blaming someone else that you can’t get it.

There are many ways to manifest, and many subtleties to the art of manifestation, and many schools of thought and discipline for it.

I pull from a great variety of those schools of thought in my work with people, integrating the tools that will resonate with the personality and level of experience. It’s always a unique co-creation to support someone in realizing their desires and expanding their soul’s growth edges.

Currently, I’m thinking about ways that I can support more women to hone their manifesting skills and really BE in their power.  I can only do so many one on one, personalized sessions with women.  So how can I bring these skills to those of you who can’t work with me privately for one reason or another?

My friend told me I should coach a group of women together, and I listened.

So I’m launching a coaching group for women who want something and haven’t been able to manifest it.

I’m excited about this, and can’t wait to share more about Divine Feminine Manifestation Mojo!

Stay tuned, Goddess.  More is coming very soon…

Love, Blissings, & Goddess Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

To work with me, email me at GoddessOceana@gmail.com and we’ll set up a 15 minute discovery session to see what I offer that will best serve you.

Photo Credit: Milia Poirier

A Pleasure Practice Tidbit That’s Not Frivolous

Do you have any idea how important pleasure is?

I feel like a broken record sometimes, repeating myself about pleasure and how women absolutely must receive it on a daily basis.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame anyone for not understanding this concept immediately.  Our whole culture teaches us that pleasure is a frivolous pastime, and that only hard workers get theirs.

And guess who made this falsity up?  You got it, the patriarchy.  I’m not going to get all political on you, but I am going to be completely honest with you.  The masculine way is to power through things, but sweetest goddess, we are not men!

We’re women, divine and radiant, soft and curvy, emotive and passionate and vibrating with the power of Shakti, the Feminine Principle of God, Who absolutely demands pleasure in order for us to create.

Have I got your attention?  Oh good, because I’m on a mission here to wake you up, show you some new things, and hopefully to deposit you smack into the epicenter of your sacred power.

Today, have I ever got a new practice tool for you!

If you’re up for it, take some pleasure into every single day of your life.  It doesn’t matter where you start, either with a favorite food or a full out orgasm, and anything in between, but just please do it.

Take the time to savor receiving that pleasure deeply into your whole body, your psyche, your aura.  Let it engulf you, infuse you, introduce you to what you’re missing and what you need like you need air.

I hope to hear back from you that you’ve discovered something, and that you’re taking on these introductory tips I’m sending out regularly.

I’m having a blast ramping up to open registration for the upcoming brand new course I’ve created, Divine Feminine Sensual Power Online Course.

Registration opens soon!  To make sure you’re on the list to receive first notice, please  subscribe to my newsletter at www.goddessoceana.com.

Written With the Utmost Pleasure  ~Goddess Oceana

Who is unaware of their power, deliciously magnetic, radiantly lovable, and devastatingly innocent?

Believe it or not, it’s you, my darling.  You could be thinking it’s true or it’s not, but I have reason to believe that unless you’re already a supremely adept magician, you don’t have much first-hand experience of your own brazen power.

And unless you’re thoroughly skilled as a courtesan or an utterly confident and self-realized woman, you just don’t have a deep awareness of your own radiance and magnetism.  Even though you have a delightful innocence about the reality of these truths, you’re still a walking, talking goddess on two hot legs with tremendous magickal powers.  You see, you cannot not be magnificent if you are a woman.  Period.

I could go on, but you get the picture.

So how does a woman get a feel for her power?  A clever way to begin is to pay attention to the words coming out of her mouth, tracking what she is thinking, and ferreting out deep, internal beliefs that could be lurking in that self-sabotaging mind.

Pay attention to the words you’re speaking…especially the mindless sayings,  or things you hear yourself repeat very often. Notice if what you’re saying is something you actually truly desire in your life, or not.

For instance:

“It’s killing me.”  Do you want it to kill you or is this a saying you picked up and just use?

“I’m so sick of this.”  Would you like to call sickness into yourself?

“What a pain in the neck/ass!”  How are your neck and ass feeling?  Do you ever notice neck pain or pain on your bottom, and do you have the slightest inkling it might be connected with your words?

You see, a combination of several things go into co-creating with the universal principles. When done in unison, they pack a whole bunch of power and it’s immediately sent out like fireworks to notify the universe to deliver that thing, whatever it might be.

So if you’re really upset and you keep saying something is a pain, the universe hears that like a command. The combination of firey, passionate expression and the power of the spoken word work like a charm, whether it’s one you want or not.

Try tracking this for a while and see if you notice any correlations.  This is just one tiny step in realizing your power to manifest everything you want in your life.

I’ll be sending more tips, so check your inbox for more emails from me as we gear up for the Divine Feminine Sensual Power Online Course.

Registration will be opening soon…if you want to receive notification when registration opens, be sure to sign up for my newsletter at www.goddessoceana.com.

Love, love, love~

Goddess Oceana

Pleasured

Do you make time for pleasure in your life?

Recently I ran a short, five day challenge for women to immerse themselves in various kinds of pleasure.  It’s strange to think that simply generating some pleasurable activities in one’s life could be such a big undertaking, wrought with resistance and avoidance.

Five straight days is more than most people can muster up a daily act of pleasure. To my surprise, about fifteen women out of almost a hundred really went for it and reported their exuberant findings as well as their struggles with it.  I didn’t expect so many heartfelt, transparent, gorgeous descriptions of what they were facing, and was so impressed.

I’ve been practicing pleasure, studying about pleasure, and teaching pleasure in various forms over the years, and what I’ve come to learn is that our culture simply does not value it.  This fact alone can stop some women cold.  Some of the struggles in the pleasure challenge were feeling guilty, too busy serving others, and difficulty finding time alone to do something pleasurable in their hectic days.

A very few participants were already practicing infusing pleasure into their lives as a way to heal and nurture themselves. Women were sharing all of the ways they found pleasure in life, ways they created more, and desires for even more.  It was such a gorgeous thing to see women sharing and learning something so simple, yet so powerful.

There were deep realizations about how focusing on pleasure brought so much awareness of even more pleasure they’d never noticed.  Vibrancy, deserving, worth, and even profound joy unfolded.  New ideas, enthusiasm and even recipes for pleasure were shared.

I have no intention of closing this amazing group.  With women joining daily, asking me what it is and how they can participate,  we’ll continue to focus on pleasure.  We’ll encourage each other to keep up the important work of enjoying life, honoring our bodies, reveling in our femininity, and opening to receiving more abundance. I’m convinced that the gateway of gratitude is primed by pleasure.

~Goddess Oceana

How can you join the Goddess Pleasure Challenge group?  Follow this LINK and ask to join.

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDShttp://www.goddessoceana.com/