Stuck On Repeat? Shake It Loose

I hope your Eostara/Easter/Resurrection weekend was as fabulous as you are.

Whether it was delicious, sweet, challenging, mediocre, or isolating, I know that your destiny points to the perfection of it all, even if you cannot see it yet.

Since it’s a time of brand new beginnings on the path to your ultimate destiny and life purpose (it said so in the stars), you may be wondering what the heck is in the way.

* Why are you still dealing with the same old pattern?

*What is it with the universe daring to withhold your abundant great stuff?

* Why are they getting theirs and I’m not getting mine?

Today, I will unpack exactly why you’re stuck on repeat, sweet sister.

There is a whole recipe for manifesting your most fulfilling life, stepping into synchronous bliss, and living life large with feminine aplomb.

So this one step I’m sharing with you, although it’s crucial like air and water, will only work if you’re working all of them.

However, I find this one really can be a stickler because it doesn’t ever go away.

In one word, it’s the almighty forgiveness factor.

You may say to yourself that you already said forgiveness prayers for those people, or you have a right to be angry, or maybe you’ve done all you could and they’re still a shit.

This is a wonderful place to begin….again.

Forgiveness is an ongoing process.

It begins with us.  It ends with us.  It’s about us, never about them.

Regardless of the heinous, misguided, horrific drama that played out with us feeling victimized, offended, traumatized or crushed like a gardenia under a cement block, the only way to unfuck ourselves in life is to forgive.

In order to forgive, sometimes we just have to step up into a higher view of the situation, look at where the source of another’s wounded behavior might have come from, and apply grace within ourselves over it.

And then rinse and repeat as many times as it surfaces inside of us as hurt or anger.

When we can surrender our ego to that extent, the universe has a wide open runway to propel so much abundance and good our way, it’s like the firehose of life has no off switch.

May you have the strength to forgive always and forever so that your magnificent blessings pour into your life unbound and in dizzying glory.

Forgiven,

Goddess Oceana

www.goddessoceana.com

https://www.facebook.com/GoddessOceana/

P.S.  If being buoyed by a community of supportive, witchy women while you hone your manifesting skillz sounds appealing, check out the Manifest Your Fabulous (Relationship) Desires Program on Facebook now.

http://goddessoceana.com/events/

Knitting As An Act of Passion

Recently I started to knit with a wild and fierce determination.

It could have been my passionate love for colors and my deep need for sensual touch that pointed me in the direction of soft, delicious yarns I could spend hours running over and around my skin.

It could have been the state of the world and a feeling that overcame me of needing to do something tangible that would lift spirits for more than a few minutes.

Maybe it was the budget my husband and I set for the holidays, and a deep desire to create meaningful gifts that didn’t cost a fortune, and demonstrated my love for people rather than the quick and easy obligatory shopping trip.

Perhaps it was the fact that I was detoxing from sugar, and keeping my hands busy with yarn while my mind was focused on prayer, distracting me from my usual trips to the cupboard for cookies.

And then there was the fact that my beloved little goddess doggie passed away after months of hospice, and I found it so powerfully comforting to receive a tiny crocheted bit of a prayer shawl from the Temple of Witchcraft ministry that I wanted to spread this love to others.

Maybe two decades of childrearing and keeping a house were coming to a close and I wanted somewhere to channel the grief of letting go while still feeling relevant and useful in the world.

It’s not that I was new to knitting or crocheting, sewing, or anything creative with my hands.  It was that I found myself determined to carve out a place for this in my life.  I wanted to complete projects rather than moving the basket around my house for fifteen years or so, thinking that someday I’d have time to finish that thing.

There is something so primal about knitting in a world where a machine made item can be spat out in minutes.  Primal, spiritual, and tangible.  And that translates to passion for me, because it combines the three ways in which we can align our energies in this world to truly rock our soul potential.

Whatever we doing in this world, the fires of passion will fuel our focused intention.  Seemingly small acts that are consistent will move mountains.

This passionate knitting habit looks so inconspicuous, but let me assure you, it’s a disguised sensual fire of world healing, from the inside out.

~Goddess Oceana is a Women’s Sensual Empowerment Expert, Shamanic Healer, and Goddess Oracle as well as an author and spiritual life coach.

You can find her knitting circle once a month in her healing office at Equinox Healing Arts, 85 Main St., Suite 303, Hopkinton, Ma., or leading a sacred ritual at the Goddess Circle.

 

Stuck in a Rut of Depression

Someone recently said to me that she wanted to “transcend the mundane” and felt she was stuck in a rut of old, unhealthy patterns and dysfunction.  I thought about times when I was stuck and how it used to play out for me, and how it plays out now that I have almost forty years of deep personal work under my belt.

There’s a very clear difference.  Thirty-eight years ago, I knew I was at cause, but didn’t have the tools or skills necessary to understand the nuances of how to pull myself out, other than affirmations and an image board, journaling, and self-blame.  Way back then, I wasn’t as clear about how to distinguish being at cause about my entire reality versus being to blame for my entire reality.

So blaming myself when I couldn’t figure out how to make things better was my recourse, and it would spiral into the most excruciating depression, hopelessness, and longing to just make the pain stop…even fantasizing about and then attempting suicide.

Somehow my will to keep learning and persevering on the path of various transformational modalities began to pay off, and I got better at finding strategies to get myself aligned again.  The greatest learning about depression for me was to own my anger, my rage, my upset, and master how to express my boundaries in a safe and grounded way.  Once I began to express my anger by making requests of others that honored my newly discovered boundaries, I stopped turning my anger towards myself.

This took time, practice, and mistakes.  I failed a lot, and then learned from the failures.  I made a little progress each time.  Life began to improve, and as I stopped making other people’s wants far more important than my needs, I became a happier person. That’s one small  example of how I overcame a debilitating rut.

The various skills I’ve learned over the years I’ve tested repeatedly, and I continue to acquire more.  Mostly, I’ve come to realize that I love to learn, and so I honor that by diving into learning whatever it is I find fascinating.  It just so happens that all of it is in the realm of spirituality, transformation, psychology, relationship, sexuality, and esoteric studies.

The ruts I see my clients stuck in most often are the ruts of people-pleasing, not keeping their word (a basic tenet for becoming more powerful is to keep your word), a habit of putting other people first and getting lost in overwhelm, and or finding an old pattern of behavior they’re stuck in and not getting the energy healing necessary to break free from it.  These are all ways in which we sabotage ourselves, especially as women.

The good news is that self-love is the super vitamin that can make all healing possible, and it improves our lives dramatically.  And so I start there, with daily practices that infuse self-love and self-worth that begin to lift a person immediately from whatever rut they’re in.  Then we get into some nitty gritty pattern shifts and healing work.

Whatever rut you’re in, begin with self-love.  You can start by telling yourself that you love you very much, each and every day.  It can be that simple.  Let that love into your heart and feel it wrap around you like a soft, warm blanket.  Do it often and out loud.

Here’s to Loving You,

Goddess Oceana

Message me to schedule a fifteen minute call to find out how to work with me to live a happier, more fulfilling life.  I help women connect deeply to their inner spiritual guidance and become the sensual, powerful goddess they were meant to be while co-creating their deepest desires with the universe.

Email me:  Oceana@GoddessOceana.com

 

 

How Do You Meet Desire?

What do you deeply desire in your life that you don’t have?

What are you willing to do to have it?

I asked the universe for something and instead of immediate delivery, I received some powerful reflections that were painful for me.

This is often the case when we say we desire something, and are calling it into our reality.

We must become a match for that thing before it can come to us. Honestly, if we’re wondering why we don’t have what we want yet, it’s almost always because we haven’t made internal or external space for it, or because we aren’t in alignment with it in some way.

I am in such gratitude today for that discomfort I felt yesterday. Rather than choose to be a victim about it, which is the status quo for many who don’t realize their own power yet, I chose to look at the message, where I was responsible, and what I could do to further align myself to that juicy manifestation I wanted so much.

I allowed the Universe to speak to me, informing me in experiences of what needed to be overhauled before I could receive my desire.

Some powerful questions for the courageous manifester:

Where am I responsible in my ways of being, doing, thinking, and talking, that generated reflections of what I did not want?

What parts of this are in my control, and how can I shift my thinking or my way of showing up in the world that will align with what I do desire?

Is this a door closing because another better fit is beckoning? If so, am I grateful for the redirection, with open heart and joyful receiving for my true desires?

Do I truly want it, or am I just kind of wanting it? How powerful is my fire for this thing, and am I willing to do whatever it takes to meet the universe with action?

Is this a pattern when I review other times when there has been a similar feeling around a situation? If so, what is that pattern, what takes place, and how am I perpetuating it? How can I change this?

These are some questions that evoke the kinds of internal changes necessary for a powerful manifestation, the internal dialogue that will make the difference between having what you want and giving up, or blaming someone else that you can’t get it.

There are many ways to manifest, and many subtleties to the art of manifestation, and many schools of thought and discipline for it.

I pull from a great variety of those schools of thought in my work with people, integrating the tools that will resonate with the personality and level of experience. It’s always a unique co-creation to support someone in realizing their desires and expanding their soul’s growth edges.

Currently, I’m thinking about ways that I can support more women to hone their manifesting skills and really BE in their power.  I can only do so many one on one, personalized sessions with women.  So how can I bring these skills to those of you who can’t work with me privately for one reason or another?

My friend told me I should coach a group of women together, and I listened.

So I’m launching a coaching group for women who want something and haven’t been able to manifest it.

I’m excited about this, and can’t wait to share more about Divine Feminine Manifestation Mojo!

Stay tuned, Goddess.  More is coming very soon…

Love, Blissings, & Goddess Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

To work with me, email me at GoddessOceana@gmail.com and we’ll set up a 15 minute discovery session to see what I offer that will best serve you.

Photo Credit: Milia Poirier

A Pleasure Practice Tidbit That’s Not Frivolous

Do you have any idea how important pleasure is?

I feel like a broken record sometimes, repeating myself about pleasure and how women absolutely must receive it on a daily basis.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame anyone for not understanding this concept immediately.  Our whole culture teaches us that pleasure is a frivolous pastime, and that only hard workers get theirs.

And guess who made this falsity up?  You got it, the patriarchy.  I’m not going to get all political on you, but I am going to be completely honest with you.  The masculine way is to power through things, but sweetest goddess, we are not men!

We’re women, divine and radiant, soft and curvy, emotive and passionate and vibrating with the power of Shakti, the Feminine Principle of God, Who absolutely demands pleasure in order for us to create.

Have I got your attention?  Oh good, because I’m on a mission here to wake you up, show you some new things, and hopefully to deposit you smack into the epicenter of your sacred power.

Today, have I ever got a new practice tool for you!

If you’re up for it, take some pleasure into every single day of your life.  It doesn’t matter where you start, either with a favorite food or a full out orgasm, and anything in between, but just please do it.

Take the time to savor receiving that pleasure deeply into your whole body, your psyche, your aura.  Let it engulf you, infuse you, introduce you to what you’re missing and what you need like you need air.

I hope to hear back from you that you’ve discovered something, and that you’re taking on these introductory tips I’m sending out regularly.

I’m having a blast ramping up to open registration for the upcoming brand new course I’ve created, Divine Feminine Sensual Power Online Course.

Registration opens soon!  To make sure you’re on the list to receive first notice, please  subscribe to my newsletter at www.goddessoceana.com.

Written With the Utmost Pleasure  ~Goddess Oceana

Who is unaware of their power, deliciously magnetic, radiantly lovable, and devastatingly innocent?

Believe it or not, it’s you, my darling.  You could be thinking it’s true or it’s not, but I have reason to believe that unless you’re already a supremely adept magician, you don’t have much first-hand experience of your own brazen power.

And unless you’re thoroughly skilled as a courtesan or an utterly confident and self-realized woman, you just don’t have a deep awareness of your own radiance and magnetism.  Even though you have a delightful innocence about the reality of these truths, you’re still a walking, talking goddess on two hot legs with tremendous magickal powers.  You see, you cannot not be magnificent if you are a woman.  Period.

I could go on, but you get the picture.

So how does a woman get a feel for her power?  A clever way to begin is to pay attention to the words coming out of her mouth, tracking what she is thinking, and ferreting out deep, internal beliefs that could be lurking in that self-sabotaging mind.

Pay attention to the words you’re speaking…especially the mindless sayings,  or things you hear yourself repeat very often. Notice if what you’re saying is something you actually truly desire in your life, or not.

For instance:

“It’s killing me.”  Do you want it to kill you or is this a saying you picked up and just use?

“I’m so sick of this.”  Would you like to call sickness into yourself?

“What a pain in the neck/ass!”  How are your neck and ass feeling?  Do you ever notice neck pain or pain on your bottom, and do you have the slightest inkling it might be connected with your words?

You see, a combination of several things go into co-creating with the universal principles. When done in unison, they pack a whole bunch of power and it’s immediately sent out like fireworks to notify the universe to deliver that thing, whatever it might be.

So if you’re really upset and you keep saying something is a pain, the universe hears that like a command. The combination of firey, passionate expression and the power of the spoken word work like a charm, whether it’s one you want or not.

Try tracking this for a while and see if you notice any correlations.  This is just one tiny step in realizing your power to manifest everything you want in your life.

I’ll be sending more tips, so check your inbox for more emails from me as we gear up for the Divine Feminine Sensual Power Online Course.

Registration will be opening soon…if you want to receive notification when registration opens, be sure to sign up for my newsletter at www.goddessoceana.com.

Love, love, love~

Goddess Oceana

Pleasured

Do you make time for pleasure in your life?

Recently I ran a short, five day challenge for women to immerse themselves in various kinds of pleasure.  It’s strange to think that simply generating some pleasurable activities in one’s life could be such a big undertaking, wrought with resistance and avoidance.

Five straight days is more than most people can muster up a daily act of pleasure. To my surprise, about fifteen women out of almost a hundred really went for it and reported their exuberant findings as well as their struggles with it.  I didn’t expect so many heartfelt, transparent, gorgeous descriptions of what they were facing, and was so impressed.

I’ve been practicing pleasure, studying about pleasure, and teaching pleasure in various forms over the years, and what I’ve come to learn is that our culture simply does not value it.  This fact alone can stop some women cold.  Some of the struggles in the pleasure challenge were feeling guilty, too busy serving others, and difficulty finding time alone to do something pleasurable in their hectic days.

A very few participants were already practicing infusing pleasure into their lives as a way to heal and nurture themselves. Women were sharing all of the ways they found pleasure in life, ways they created more, and desires for even more.  It was such a gorgeous thing to see women sharing and learning something so simple, yet so powerful.

There were deep realizations about how focusing on pleasure brought so much awareness of even more pleasure they’d never noticed.  Vibrancy, deserving, worth, and even profound joy unfolded.  New ideas, enthusiasm and even recipes for pleasure were shared.

I have no intention of closing this amazing group.  With women joining daily, asking me what it is and how they can participate,  we’ll continue to focus on pleasure.  We’ll encourage each other to keep up the important work of enjoying life, honoring our bodies, reveling in our femininity, and opening to receiving more abundance. I’m convinced that the gateway of gratitude is primed by pleasure.

~Goddess Oceana

How can you join the Goddess Pleasure Challenge group?  Follow this LINK and ask to join.

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDShttp://www.goddessoceana.com/ 

 

 

Speechless During Sex?

Let’s get down to business, shall we?

Your pleasure plays a huge role in how empowered you are.  My mission is to teach you how to be a goddess, and goddesses are powerful.  One of the myriad teachings I share is how to live a pleasure-filled life, bask in sensuality, and enjoy the incredible benefits that come from such a badass lifestyle.

Before I became an empowered goddess, I was a shy, mute, lovely and good girl.  Unskilled and inexperienced sexually, I naively hoped for the best and mostly got the worst.  In those days, the only information available was in the few books we could find on the subject, magazines, and word of mouth.  All of it was sadly lacking, and we were hugely misinformed.

A big part of my awakening sexually happened when I discovered vibrators.  It changed my life.  Suddenly I was feeling things I hadn’t known I could feel.  In short, self pleasure became the key to understanding my body and in showing my lover what worked for me.  Years later, I became a sex educator for a well-known toy consultancy, and one of the themes we found most beneficial for women was teaching them that self pleasure is the key, in fact, to all women’s success in having optimal pleasure with lovers.

Many types of empowerment and sexuality trainings  later, what emerged was another aha… the absolute necessity of certain types of communication in bed.  Yes, we hear it and read it everywhere, but I have an idea that not everyone actually practices it.  Nor do they know how.

Here are a couple of tips on successful pleasuring communication:

• Practice speaking up every time something feels good with describing exactly when and what, even if you don’t feel confident in doing so at first.  (Practice, practice, practice).
• If something is not to your liking, instead of just laying a complaint on your partner, keep the passion flowing by first saying what did feel good or what you do like about them or what they’re doing, and follow with requesting what you want more of or  want different.
• Keep breathing.  Holding your breath (which many do unconsciously when they’re revved up) constricts energy, inhibits communication, and freezes the response.  Just remember to breathe, and if you notice you stopped, start again with slower, longer breaths.  Short, shallow breath can also shorten orgasm.  Long, conscious breathing prolongs pleasure. Breathing can also be a way of communicating.  Even if we don’t realize it, we sense so much from another’s breathing patterns.
• If all else fails, ask your lover to receive, and show them what you like by touching them they way you wish to be touched, kissed, or stroked.

Speaking up in bed can be so scary for some women, especially if past abuse or trauma is present.  Be gentle with yourself and start slowly, and celebrate every successful communication, no matter how small it may seem.  One tiny step at a time, over time, will reap huge rewards, I promise.

Juicy Goddess Blessings,

Goddess Oceana

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDShttp://www.goddessoceana.com/ 

 

True Love Terror

Women tell me about how much they want to have great relationships all the time.  There are articles all over the internet about how to find the man of your dreams and keep him, how to have a better marriage, and how to deepen the intimacy with your lover.

Many women talk about what their partner is or isn’t doing that’s making them unhappy.  They speak of the dream relationship they want, and they spend tons of time trying to figure out what they’re doing wrong, or what makes their man tick.  They contort themselves into emotional pretzels fretting about the other woman, or about how they can get their man to treat them the way they want to be treated.

This article isn’t going to tell you the answers to any of it right now, because I think I’ve stumbled on the one thing that no one is talking about.  This one thing is at the absolute core of all of this commotion.

You see, no one comes to me describing the terrifying act of opening their heart to a man fully and completely, allowing themselves to be so utterly vulnerable that they stop trying to attack him covertly in an attempt to control him so they can feel safer.

The one thing not many women are talking about is how terrifying it is to be deeply in love.  Because, I tell you in all truth, it is fucking scary.  It’s scary to think that this one man could leave you grief-stricken in his absence, your heart ripped apart and bleeding.

How can I be so sure of this?  Because even after twenty-five years with a rock solid guy, I found myself facing the deepest level of intimacy I’ve ever experienced.

I’d been training myself in vulnerability, the deepest surrender, setting ego aside, and putting our love first and foremost.  I don’t do things halfway, and I wanted the very best marriage I could imagine.  The nature of my work as a mentor insists that I live what I teach.  So, I wouldn’t be satisfied until I had plummeted into the depths of my man’s heart and felt a complete union of souls.

In order to do this, I had to drop every single barrier to intimacy I had acquired in my life, from trying to control him, to hiding my traces of shame, to allowing him to be right when he was right, to being willing to be wrong in order to put love first…the list goes on.  In essence, I had to stop emasculating him, even in the most subtle ways that were almost unconscious.

What happened next took my breath away.  Unexpected, incredible, magnificent love showed up.

When I trusted him completely, and told my core truth without unconsciously trying to hurt him first to make myself feel safe, he responded with love.  In trusting him first, he lived up to my trust and beyond.

Today, I found myself in tears expressing my worst fears to my beloved, all wrapped up in my profound love.  In allowing myself to be absolutely raw in my transparency, I experienced terror.  For the first time in my life, I was face to face with the terror of the deepest love I had allowed myself to surrender to a man in this lifetime.

And so I say to you, what’s underneath all of those challenges you’re facing in your relationship is most likely terror at what it may mean to love fully, completely, openly, and without a safety net.

What if you give your whole heart, your tender vulnerability, your whole life to this man, and one day you wake up and he’s no longer there?  What if you’re both elderly and he goes first?  What if you give up cutting him down at the knees with criticism and complaining, and instead get curious about what makes a man tick?

What if you surrender, throw up the white flag, and allow him to deeply love you…and trust him to catch you when you stumble?

~Goddess Oceana

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDShttp://www.goddessoceana.com/ 

A Woman Is No Idiot

Something happens to a woman when she is betrayed or rejected by someone she openly trusts and lets in very close.
If she does not have the skills or tools to recover, she tends to isolate, withdraw, and become wary after a while, of anyone trying to come in close.
Wounded, she unconsciously puts those dearest and closest through their paces over and over again, continuing to test their loyalty to guard fervently against further soul terrorism.
If she’s wise, she receives the gifts from her pain, and places shrewd guardians at the door of her soul who demand the heights of pre-earned trust for entry into her orb.
Earned trust is easy to discern as she learns to trust herself.
She becomes stealthy underneath her silken curves.
She paces herself, firmly rooted in her worth.
She honors herself first.

A woman is no idiot.
A woman is a creator of beauty in all things.
A woman will give until her last breath unless she is betrayed.
A woman bestows life and a woman magnifies splendor.
A woman‘s attention is rapturous.
A woman‘s wrath is chaos embodied, destroying and feeding the fires of transformation.
A woman is born, dies, and is reborn a thousand times a day.
A woman can live lifetimes into one look, ignite journeys of the heart with a single touch, and can move mountains with her pleasure.

~Goddess Oceana

 

Sensual Empowerment Goddess | Tantric Yogini | Shamaness Unlock the 7 Goddess Secrets every woman NEEDShttp://www.goddessoceana.com/